What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?
Even when it’s difficult, even when others don’t do the same, try to remain kind, because we don’t know what others are going through. And if we had the choice, we would want to be treated with kindness. It is challenging to try to keep kindness in your back pocket each day, because it seems we are met with so much cruelty and things that are unkind as soon as we leave the house. But if you look for it, kindness is out there, and sometimes it needs a starting point to gain momentum or to turn a grumpy person in the grocery store to a laughing one. It’s not easy to do this. It requires discipline and practice. Sometimes kindness does not work. There will always be those people who will not budge into a softer version of themselves. That’s OK, but do please leave those people in the dust.
Look for the ones who reciprocate the kindness – they will understand why you carry it with you.
The ability to judge what is worth pondering or taking on. The insight and intuition to decide that something isn’t for you. The capability to decide that if something isn’t for you, you can leave it and go on about your day.
The wisdom to own your own shit and know that other peoples’ shit is not yours to own. To not give a fuck if people don’t like that you curse.
To determine it’s perfectly acceptable to water your plants wearing your bathrobe and your slippers. To go out in a very nice outfit, but not wear a stitch of makeup on your face. (This is closely related to wearing a bathrobe to water your plants.) Also, with age comes the knowledge and the understanding that what people see on the outside is not who you are on the inside. And who you are on the inside is much more important than what you look like.
My birthday is tomorrow. One more trip around the sun. Susie passed away in my lap this past Monday, and my best friend’s mother died about five hours later. It has been a difficult week, and I have scaled it alone, save for several good souls. And I have made it through. With age comes inner strength you didn’t know you had.
With age comes discernment. With age comes the knowledge that grief is love. You learn people can only ever treat you the way they feel about themselves. Sometimes you can do everything possible, but if you are misunderstood by others, it won’t make a difference. And you have to just let that shit go.
I have learned pets are a gift from above. Animals do not offer conditional love, theirs is only unconditional. They love simply because that’s what they do. For people who don’t know the love of a pet, or specifically a cat, I’m sorry. Your life has not been enriched in the way that mine has. Tiny humans grow up and they begin to place conditions on their love. It’s what the world does to us. But a pet never does. A 17-year-old cat still loves unconditionally, the same as when they were a tiny baby. My birthday wish is that humans may strive to be less conditional with their love, and be more like “animals.”
You don’t always have to drive as fast as possible to get to a destination. Try leaving earlier instead. Keep your temper in check. Nothing is worth rage. If you die tomorrow and you were angry today, will you be angry for eternity? Maybe. I’m not willing to play those odds. If you treat others poorly, whether in business or personal endeavors, expect to be treated the same way at some point in your life/business dealings. Be a good person, help people, and get your face out of your phone. And slow down.
A few weeks back I posted about my journey with migraine. You can find it below. I’m not posting about my journey today.
I happened upon a really good migraine resource recently. It’s a blog here at WordPress created by a fellow migraineur. She posts insightful, creative content about how to battle migraine holistically.
I’m going to share with you the link to her first post. She is a really good writer. She’s concise, informative and helpful. If you suffer from migraine or know anyone who does, please check out her blog and pass the word along that there is a resource for those of us who battle this condition and it’s right under our fingertips.
Her site is called the mindful migraine, and her introductory post is here.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
“Stop saying you’re sorry for something you did not do. Do not take personal responsibility for something that has nothing to do with you or your actions. We say ‘I’m sorry,’ as a reflex response, a sentence filler, to a lot of situations that we did not create. It’s a passive response, a guilt giver. Remove it from your vernacular. Only say you’re sorry as a direct result of your own actions.”
“It's Amy,” I said. 