animals · blogging · bunnies · cats · Humor · Iris · Nature · Nature photography · Red fox · Skunks · spring · squirrels

Disney Princess Unlocked

Happy Saturday morning from these parts of the woods! This day is also known as Caturday, but the only cat I have right now is the one who visits my backyard naïvely thinking I won’t capture him and force him to go to the vet and live inside the house forever and ever. Oh, silly, silly boy.

Tom Cat stopping by for water and a meal – he was unsuccessful and the birds told everyone who would listen that he was there 

In other news, Foxy Red is back. He thought he might have a little snack, but I caught him. Fox look like a combination of a dog and a cat in the same body. And their behavior is much the same. I heard from a neighbor there are two fox, so I deduce there are many more. I also heard from a neighbor there is a deer nearby and that a small group of them live up in some small woods behind a few houses at the front of the neighborhood. This makes me sad. I hate that their homes have been demolished for human greed. I have not seen this deer, but others have seen it walk through the yard of my neighbor directly next to me. I did see one deer walking down the middle of the road early one summer morning about three years ago. I thought it was hallucinating, because I’ve never seen a deer in this neighborhood, and I have lived here a long time. It walked so quietly it didn’t make a sound. And it didn’t notice me. It was a peaceful moment.

But I’m not here to talk about peace. I’m here to talk about a compact, pudgy, fluffy, black-and-white striped, armed with stinky solution in the rear ball of fluff. Yes, that’s right. I’ve got a skunk. And if you think he is not the cutest thing in the world, you are wrong. I’ve seen him on at least two occasions now and I have squealed both times. I got nervous because he crossed the street and did some weird investigating in my neighbor’s front yard. And it wasn’t even dark. But this skunk appears to be very well fed,  so I suppose he needs to get an early start on the grub.

Squee!! 😍
…I’m gonna dieee!!!“

I also have a bunny, but I’m not sure how long I will have a bunny, due to fox plural. And a stray cat.

🐇💨 + unhelpful 🐧 + 🐿️

Oh yeah, and a bunch of squirrel moms dropped off their crazy babies in my backyard and took off. Two of my favorite squirrels have taken off and left crazy babies in their wake. I don’t think that’s an equal transaction, but who am I to say? I just live here. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Good morning. I was waiting for you to open the blind and see me here. I have left you my children and I am going off to greener pastures. But before I go, do you have a moment to talk about your car’s extended warranty?

I also have plenty of flowers in bloom, and although one of the three late frosts that we had killed off the leaves on the weeping cherry tree, everything else seems to have come through okay. Everything is very slow to bloom, however. But don’t worry, we’re getting three or four 90°+ days coming up this week before returning to somewhat reasonable weather. I can’t wait because I don’t have any air-conditioning at the moment. I guess I’ll have that dewy glow, au natural. 

Iris
Close-up of the iris 
The first penny bloom on one of five peony plants 
My favorite: black petunias! 🖤
Black and white Petunias 🖤🤍
Are you sensing a theme here?
I plant pink petunias around my mom’s tree every year because those were her favorite. 💞

I better go. I hear the birds in the tree outside the window and they know I’m late. I expect there to be a crowd on the porch when I open the door. And sometimes, the sparrows bang on the door for birdseed if I’m too late.

Enjoy your day/afternoon/evening wherever you are in the world.

And always remember: the Disney Princess life isn’t chosen, it is given. ✨💫✨

©️2026, itsamyisaid.com

animals · birds · blog · blogging · Flowers · Humor · Nature · spring · squirrels · Writing

Squirrel 1, Azalea 0

It’s been a very warm week. We’ve broken records and hit 9000°F. I’m sorry, it only feels like 9000° but it’s been 88°. Everything is blooming and it shouldn’t be. Not quite yet. We’re dropping down into the 30s again next week so I will likely be covering everything that’s starting to bloom that shouldn’t be. Sigh.

Speaking of blooming, the azaleas are in full bloom, and the squirrel teenagers are in full zoom. And I mean zoomies. The squirrels have been splooting – the term for what they do when they lie on their bellies to try to cool off – and they have been doing this:

Menace 2 Society

Sploot happens:

Splootin’
Extreme Splooting

I brought out the ground level birdbaths and the hose, so now we have three functioning birdbaths/refreshing water sources. Yesterday, the mourning doves couldn’t figure out how to all get into the same birdbath at the same time, which is not surprising because mourning doves share one brain cell. They are beautiful birds, and they are very fast in flight, but they are afraid of me on foot, but not afraid of cars. They often walk to their destination, even though they have wings. And when they look at you, it gives you a feeling of the most beautiful creature with not much going on behind the scenes, if you know what I mean. Anyway, while the doves were trying to figure out how to all fit into the birdbath, a sparrow showed up. Sparrows are not shy, and it came in for a landing. The MoDo’s were not impressed. This was their reaction:

👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️ 👁️👁️

It was really awkward. I, of course, recorded the whole thing and could not contain my laughter.

Sparrow: “HEY, YA’LL! 🤠” MoDo: “Darlene, is that a sparrow? Tell me that is not a sparrow sitting right there next to us?!“ 🧐

These are two couples (not seen: Daryl, who made an early exit after being pecked by Dave.) Doves mate for life, so tensions were already brewing between the two couples and the fact that they couldn’t figure out how to all fit into the birdbath without ruffling feathers. I mean that figuratively and literally. One of the doves got too close to the other dove and got pecked. This caused an indignant, awkward hop out of the birdbath as one couple *had* to leave. And then the sparrow showed up. It was utter chaos.

It’s Saturday morning as I’m writing this, and don’t for a second think that the birds and the squirrels don’t know that I’m already awake in here. I’ve been sleeping with the windows open, which is necessary because I don’t have air-conditioning at the moment and it has been very hot. I would also like to point out the trees are pollinating and all of the yellow stuff you see on your car is now in my nose and eyes when I wake in the morning. But the birds and the squirrels don’t care about any of that. They just know that I’m awake and that I should be refilling the fuel sources and the watering holes, and they will come knocking if I’m late.

Happy Saturday, everyone!

YOU ARE LATE
Hello, can you spare a morsel? Also, umm, i think maybe…you’re a little late…

p.s. still obsessed with the Bleeding Heart

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

©️2026, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

animals · blogging · I love trees · Nature · Nature photography · non-fiction · Oak trees · Photography · spring · squirrels · Trees · Willow oak trees

William and the Squirrel

William is as majestic as ever this year. He’s probably taller than last year, but I can’t tell because he’s so tall, so…I don’t know. I was snapping some photos of my bleeding heart plant and this little squirrel became spooked by me. She’s young and she’s wary, which is a good thing, because the Cooper’s Hawk is around quite frequently, as is the fox. In any case, when she saw me, she decided to seek William out for shelter. I have many times sought out William for shelter and I have communed with him to get grounded. For it is definitely so that his roots reach as far down as his canopy reaches to the sky. To touch a tree that is at least 100 years old and is likely sustaining most of the trees in the neighborhood through its root system, is nothing short of magical. When I am feeling especially anxious and my vertigo is especially bad, I will lean on William and I feel better, at least for that moment.

Have a great weekend everyone, and if you need grounding, touch a tree. Talk to a tree. Trust me, it works. 

©️2026. Itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Oh, here’s the bleeding hearts. I had to cover them with a tent-like contraption for two nights straight because we had a freeze warning, but as you can see, it was worth it.

Eastern Redbud tree · Flowers · I love trees · Nature · Nature photography · Photography · spring · Trees

Blooms

As it turns out, half of ERJ is alive and ready to bloom again. ERJ is my eastern redbud, and I have posted about him several times. I am curiously awaiting the blooms as well as the leaves. I am also curiously awaiting the outcome of this tree. But for now, we just enjoy what we have.

Also in bloom is my mother’s weeping cherry tree. I saw a squirrel getting up to mischief in those branches today and I was jealous. Can you imagine what it would be like to live in pink blossoms? Or even just a chance to play amongst them. Still jealous.

Here’s a little video of the two of them

The forsythia is also blooming, and insists it will not be outdone by these pink wonders in the front yard. This is the glorious display in the backyard.

On a rainy day, these blooms really stand out. Spring is brief, let’s enjoy it.

I forgot. I saw my first honeybee of the season the other day and yes, I chased her around the yard. And yes, she was annoyed with me. I would be remiss if I didn’t share her here.

🐝
Look at the pollen on her legs!

©️2026, itsamyisaid.com. All rights reserved

bees · blog · blogging · Humor · non-fiction · squirrels · YouTube

My YouTube Channel

Some of you may know I recently started creating videos for my YouTube channel. If you read my last post, you’ll see a video I posted to my YouTube channel that unfortunately was pilfered by someone else and that someone else got way more likes than I did. Sigh.

This made me very sad and I made private most of my videos for about a week and a half. Today I decided that I would not only continue posting videos, but I would make public the videos that I had made private.

I really like to share my love of animals, and if someone steals my content to make it theirs, well, isn’t that flattery? I’m not making money off of my channel, and I’m not posting videos to do that. I want to spread a little silly joy.

For instance, today I chased down a honeybee. It was very cold this morning and was not very warm this afternoon, but I found the first honeybee of the season gathering pollen in the Hyacinth. Poor girl. But so it begins. Approximately eight months of me chasing after bees, butterflies, and any other flying creature, quite frankly. I got it on video and I posted it. I also posted a squirrel video because the squirrels are so silly and make me laugh every day.

Maybe other people need to laugh every day too.

If you want to check out my YouTube channel, you are welcome to do so. There is no obligation.

Click here to go to my YouTube channel

Happy Sunday, everyone!

©️2026, itsamyisaid.com

animals · blogging · Humor · Nature · spring · squirrels

Ma’am Says Hey

She’s doing very well and has babies again. If you see this video anywhere on the internets, it’s mine. I had that surprise this morning. I was watching a short on another platform, and the next short was this. Except it wasn’t from my account and it had thousands of likes. The good news is now Ma’am lives on the internets forever. I’m not going to talk about the bad news, because the good news is Ma’am now lives on forever. I hope everyone is doing well, and guess what?

WE MADE IT TO SPRING! 

©️2026, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

blogging · Chiari Malformation · Health and wellness · Humor · non-fiction · Writing

Chiari Who?

In mid- December of last year I finally got to the neurosurgeon’s office after months of trying to make the appointment. I kept having to reschedule due to scheduling conflicts. I wanted to see the surgeon about potential interventions for my unbearable neck pain of many years. I had tried physical therapy to no avail, and had two injections of steroids into C6. Everything seemed to make the pain worse, so my last resort was visiting the neurosurgeon. The pain is debilitating at times, with the nighttime being the worst. My other nearly debilitating symptoms include vertigo and dizziness, and a general feeling of being off-balance. It is exhausting to keep myself upright all day. And it is very painful in my neck region at night, so I’m not sleeping very well. Needless to say, I wanted answers and help. 

I had nothing to fear as I waited for the doctor to enter the room and review my cervical spine MRI imaging from June 2025. I had no reason to think anything would go awry because I had read the report and it didn’t seem very much changed from my previous cervical spine MRI done in 2020. For some reason, an MRI can look almost normal and a person can have severe symptoms, or conversely, the MRI can look like a train wreck and the person can feel fine. I would prefer the second option, but that’s not how I roll. 

So when the doctor entered the room, and after the pleasantries and introductions were made, he told me he didn’t see much wrong with my cervical spine. Sure, small herniations, and a little bit of a bulging here and there, but nothing warranting surgical intervention. “But, there is something I want to show you. Something else.”

I could feel the frown forming on my face, and the slight anxiety building in my chest. The doctor asked me to pull my chair over to look at the image on the screen, which was of course my cervical spine and the bottom portion of my skull and brain. “See this? This is your cerebellum. The cerebellar tonsils are hanging down through the opening at the base of your skull and into C1. You have a size ten skull and a size twelve brain.”

“I beg your finest pardon?” I asked in a statement. I was stunned and nearly speechless, but I think he just said I had a big brain, so there’s that.

“You were born with this congenital condition that is known as Type I Chiari Malformation. I believe all of your symptoms are caused from this malformation. Your brain is constricted and requires decompression. Your symptoms of dizziness, migraines, gait imbalance, limb numbness, and various others are caused by this compression. Cerebral spinal fluid can also be cut off leading to problems for the brain. The fix for this is a craniotomy to remove a piece of the skull as well as a laminectomy for C1 so that the brain hanging down has more space. After we remove those pieces, we put a band that we take from your hip and place it on each side of the skull so that the brain rests on that.”

Chiari Malformation – the herniated tonsil is a portion of the brain – it is the tonsil of the cerebellum. Not a lingual or palatine tonsil, which are found in the mouth. Just fyi stuff…

I really don’t remember thinking anything other than How did we get down this road? How are all of my symptoms being caused by my brain sagging with droopy drawers out of the base of my skull into my spinal canal? How is the treatment for this a craniotomy and a laminectomy? Why is my brain too big for my skull? Who even has this?! Not very many people, I can tell you that. In fact, I know of one other person who has this, and that person didn’t know anyone who had it either.

This is technically the decompression surgery, but the bones are bigger than this. This looks really cute and minimalistic. In my opinion, a craniotomy and a laminectomy are not “small sections of bone,” and the size of the scar for the surgery is definitely not “small” 😑

Switching tracks for a moment, I was scheduled for a brain MRI to look for an acoustic neuroma which my ENT suspected, since I suddenly lost a lot of hearing in my left ear a few years ago. But now I needed the brain MRI to confirm the Chiari Malformation. And then I got thinking: why did no one mention this on my cervical MRI report from 2020? This was when I first developed symptoms. And why did no one mention this on the cervical MRI report from June 2025? The neurosurgeon said it’s very common for them not to mention it. And, in fact, when I did finally get the brain MRI at the end of December, the malformation was yet again not reported. And because they neglected to perform sagittal views on that study, the doctor couldn’t confirm the diagnosis. I then had to get another MRI of my brain which did confirm my diagnosis.

I recently returned to discuss options and the game plan. I’ve had several months to research success stories and not so successful stories as a result of decompression surgery. I’ve also been instructed by a trusted source to get a second opinion. When I returned to the surgeon’s office, he said the surgery is not an emergency. I could schedule it in five years or I don’t ever have to do it. My CSF is not being blocked off, so my brain is receiving the nutrients that it needs. I don’t have something called a syrinx, which is a cyst that forms in the spinal canal as a result of this malformation. Seven millimeters of my cerebellum is hanging down and makes itself known, however. Migraines, dizziness, vertigo, pain up the back of my head and down my shoulders, a constant feeling of being pulled and off-balance when I walk, extreme fatigue at the end of the night, vertigo when I tilt my head back, and the inability to lie on my back because my brain is essentially right under my skin and feels compressed in certain positions – these are all symptoms I deal with on a daily basis. And for now, I will continue dealing with them. I like my skull pieces where they are, and I do not want to remove the first vertebrae of my spinal cord. I have no restrictions other than if it hurts don’t do it. Well, I’m not allowed to ride roller coasters but that’s not a problem for me because I don’t like them anyway. But doing nothing carries its own set of consequences: I will still have these symptoms and I will need to manage them the best I can, but it is incredibly fatiguing. I’m going to seek a second opinion at a university hospital in a large city. Perhaps there are other options for me to get my brain decompressed and relieve my symptoms. I don’t want to continue to live on the struggle bus, but I don’t feel comfortable removing a large section of my skull and my first vertebrae. It’s my personal belief that because I’ve had this since I was forming in utero, my body has adapted to this condition. It’s not perfect, and in fact, it’s really rather terrible at times, but what happens when you start removing pieces of your body? What happens when you remove the stability the body has always known? I’m not fully convinced that in the case of an elective surgery, this is the best route at this time. My skull may be too small for my brain, but it’s still my skull. It protects my brain. And the first vertebrae of my spinal cord is important. Every vertebrae underneath of it is important. They all rely on the first one for stability. I have concerns.

The first few days of receiving this diagnosis had me in a state of shock. I’m still not sure which parent to blame for my big brain and tiny skull. So I looked at the sky and I squinted my accusatory eyes at both of them. Also, within the first few days of this diagnosis, I nicknamed the malformation Kyrie. I made up a little song based on that 80s song by Mr. Mister – Kyrie eleison. I pulled these lyrics from the song.

Kyrie eleison down the road that I must travel
Kyrie eleison through the darkness of the night
Kyrie eleison where I’m going, will you follow?
Kyrie eleison on a highway in the night

And this is how I altered them:

Kyrie lays on the top of my spine

Kyrie lays on C1

Kyrie lays on and will always fall down

Kyrie lays on my neck all through the night

As for me and Kyrie, we will be getting a second opinion in the coming months. And in the meantime, I will try to educate people about this rare condition. It’s been a long journey to get answers for my migraines and all of these other weird symptoms. Let me know in the comments if you or anyone you know has a Chiari Malformation.

(Sorry guys, I tried to embed the video for Kyrie eleison by Mr. Mister, but WordPress is not allowing it. Kyrie original lyrics ©️ Mr. Mister)

©️2026, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

blogging · Nature · Nature photography · Photography · Snow · Trees

‘Tis The Season

Hello everyone! It’s been a while. I hope everyone is doing well. I mean to write more, but I just can’t find the words.

I love warm weather and walking barefoot in the grass. Bitter cold and snow along with all the things that come with them are not high on my list of favorites. They’re actually on another list… 💩

But even when I’m scraping snow off my car and getting plowed in by the snow plow, if I take a moment to look up, it’s marvelous. ❄️

December 14, 2025

©️2025, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

blogging · poetry · Writing

The Lion

I met a lion once

Male lions are majestic, but still just big cats

He wasn’t my lion, you can’t keep a lion

(You also can’t keep a lyin’, but I digress)

I knew him as much as you can know a lion

Lions are wild animals

You should never let your guard down

But one time I forgot

The lion scratched me

It was an accident

You know, like when your house cat accidentally scratches you when you play?

That, but a lion’s claws are so much bigger

In time it would heal,

But the scar would remain

No one can see it

But I should’ve known better

Than to pet a lion’s mane

©️2025, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

blog · Eastern Redbud tree · Fall · I love trees · Photography · poems · poetry · prose · Trees · Writing

One Last Time

Thank you for the gift

Of two more blooms

Off-season

Much too soon

But also too late

Much too late

From dead bark

Arises life

One last time 

ERJ, my eastern redbud that I’ve written about multiple times on my blog, has been slowly dying all summer and now into the fall. Strangely, he had the most beautiful blooms this year he’s ever had. This past spring, I mean. He’s got borers. They did their damage. I tried everything, but I couldn’t save him. I knew I wouldn’t be able to, but I tried anyway. The loss of this tree really hurts. Some parts of his branches are still pliable, but most are brittle. The bark now splitting from lack of life. But I noticed today a bright spot of pink. And then another. Arising from the broken, cracked bark and perched alongside seedpods as brittle as dead leaves, ERJ blooms one last time.

ERJ – photo taken October 10, 2025
ERJ – photo taken October 10, 2025

©️2025, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

blog · butterfly · Grief · Love · Monarch butterfly · Nature · Nature photography · poetry · prose · Writing

Regina I

Butterflies don’t have norireceptors

They can’t feel pain

At least that’s what they say

They also don’t recognize human voices

Well, that’s what they say

I’ve only seen three this year

The most royal of all of the butterflies

I’m a finder of lost things and valuables that belong to others

And animals that are lost or hurt

I found her struggling on the sidewalk

I halted my walk in more ways than one

Scooped her up in my hands, and she desperately tried to fly

She had no visible injuries

Not to my eyes

I took her to my neighbor’s where I thought she might find some blooms

I offered her water from my tiny bottle cap

She did lap it up and for a moment, and I thought that was that

But she still could not fly

Even though she desperately tried

So I brought her home in a shoebox with some flowers

But that’s not the part I really want to talk about

I want to tell you how she recognized my voice and how her antennae responded when I talked to her kindly

I want to tell you she was perfect with not a spot on her to explain why she was dying

I pet her little body and talked to her sweetly

I told her she was beautiful, and although she couldn’t get to her destination

She would stay here with me

I hoped for a miracle overnight, but I knew better

At first light, I checked her shoe box and she was nearly dead, so weak she was, ants were crawling on her

I brought her in the house and showed her all the plants

I told her I loved her and would take care of her

I put her in a plastic bag and placed it in the freezer

(This is how to humanely euthanize butterflies when they are already dying)

I took her out twenty four hours later and laid her on the table. She looked the same, but her body wasn’t contorted anymore. Her antenna relaxed to a normal position rather than contracted in a sort of grimace

They say butterflies don’t feel pain. I don’t believe them.

I want to know why a beautiful, gentle creature meant to migrate thousands of miles only flew a few feet before starting to die

And other malevolent beings are granted the gift of a lengthy, destructive life

I want to know why

Regina trying to fly
Her shoebox full of blooms
Regina I,
 Danaus plexippus
blog

Late Summer

Hey everyone, it’s really hard to put into words how beautiful the wildflowers have been. And it’s almost a disservice to talk about them when they could be shown. Forgive me, I’ve left off the monarch butterfly and the hummingbird. I will need to make another video to showcase them.

I hope you enjoy this video and that wherever you are, you’re having a great weekend.

p.s. my categories selection isn’t working after some type of update, so if you never see this, I won’t be surprised. Thanks, WordPress. 

bees · blogging · bugs · butterfly · Eastern Redbud tree · Flowers · hibiscus · Nature · Nature photography · Photography · spring · squirrels · Summer

End Of The Season

It’s late summer now, and the plants feel like they’re done. It’s been far too hot, far too rainy and the plants are tired. My eastern redbud is dying, its leaves have been dropping all summer and at the base of the tree, you can see the borers doing their damage. The shock of ERJ being sick combined with several other losses this summer broke my heart a little bit. But after some tests, the doctor says my heart is normal. It broke, but it is getting better. I saw a hummingbird a few days ago. I opened the front door and it was hovering above the red Zinnia, staring at me. It looked displeased. I apologized for the lack of selection, but most of the Zinnia had to be pulled because they got powdery mildew. A few days ago, a monarch butterfly arrived to the same plant, and was visibly irritated by the lack of selection. Hopefully they don’t leave me a bad review. I’d like more visitors next year.

I’ve seen a cicada shell, in the usual space I see them. On the clothes pole. I never catch the live bug – I arrive too late.

Ma’am has been here on and off. She had babies this summer, and her face is totally healed. I saw her last week. She’s looking good.

I have four fledgling robins in my backyard, two young squirrels, many sparrows, and very demanding Cardinals. My backyard is the nursery for all of the babies. There was plenty of water at ground level and above in the birdbath, and there are peanuts, served daily. I just wish the moms would come back and pick up their kids!

The hibiscus just finished up blooming. Acorns are dropping prematurely from William I, my 100-year-old Willow Oak. It’s likely due to the weather, or the small acorns not being pollinated. As I said, it was a rough summer.

We’re heading into spider season. I’ve got an office mate named “Stephen with a ph,” and he takes care of any fruit flies for me. I have to be careful not to bump him with my chair or he runs and hides. His cubicle is quite small, so I don’t insist he pay rent. Plus, he’s doing me a service. I only wish he could get the mosquitoes down to his lair.

Here are some photos of late spring and summer. I haven’t posted photos here in a while, and I have missed it. Watch the space for a 🕸️ post.

ERJ before the fatal diagnosis
I had no idea these blooms were the last
Some type of Daisy like plant I couldn’t resist
Wild clover
My mom’s clematis and a purple petunia
A bumble!
Part of a wildflower mix – anyone know?
Basil the pig and friend
Ma’am 💗
Pink zinnia
Hibiscus
Black petunia, my favorite plant
Red zinnia
Cicada shell
Annoyed Monarch butterfly on giant zinnia
I DO NOT LIKE THE PINK KIND, LADY 😠

©️2025, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

bees · beetles · bugs · Eastern Redbud tree · fireflies · Flowers · hibiscus · I love trees · lightning bugs · Nature · Nature photography · Photography · squirrels · Summer · Trees

Around Here

I’ve been taking photographs of flowers and trees and plants and bees…all spring and summer. Ma’am the squirrel makes an appearance in the video below. She’s got babies now and she stops by, but those babies take up a lot of her time. She’s fully healed, so it’s hard for me to tell if it’s her or not her. I ask all the squirrels if they are ma’am. I am pretty sure they think I am the strangest food lady ever.

Some sad news to report on ERJ (my eastern redbud tree, for those who are new here. He and William The First, my Willow Oak, are tied for favorite tree first place): I noticed he wasn’t doing well a couple months ago and had an arborist come look at him. He has borers. The arborist seemed to think ERJ would pull through, but I have serious doubts. I know my tree, and he doesn’t look well. His leaves are yellowing and dropping. He has tons of suckers and tons of seed pods. I feel like this is his last hurrah trying to create new generations. I have applied the insecticide three times now and I don’t think it’s working. You might remember ERJ from previous posts. I will be very sad to lose him, but at the end of this video, you will see I have another redbud in my backyard and its leaves are huge. I love the heart shape of the leaves. It’s truly my favorite type of tree. But don’t tell William.

I hope you enjoy this trip around my flowers, an (unnamed) eastern redbud, a lightning bug, a bumblebee and a squirrel.

Summer, and the livin’s easy
animals · blogging · Humor · Photography · spring · squirrels

Table For One

You may not know this, but Ma’am has her own container of walnuts. No one else gets these walnuts but her. I keep it fully stocked. Yes, she is spoiled. She stopped by the café this morning and nicely requested a table for one, so I easily made the accommodations. Not even the starlings knew she was there for 40 minutes snacking, and the starlings know everything.

Happy Weekend, everyone!

Table for one 
animals · blogging · Humor · Nature photography · Photography · squirrels

Ma’am on Mother’s Day

She doesn’t come around often, but she did visit on Sunday. She had a snack and a sploot. Splooting is when animals lie on their bellies to cool off on a hot day. Ma’am has perfected this.

Happy Wednesday, everyone. Sploot if you need to.

Ma’am is looking good!
Her tail is stumpy
Self-service
Splootin’ and eatin’
Splootin’ in the shade

©️2025, itsamyisaid.com

animals · blogging · Nature · Nature photography · non-fiction · Photography · spring · squirrels · Writing

Ma’am the Squirrel

What was the last live performance you saw?

This is Ma’am. She frequently does performative art. I’ve been feeding this squirrel for at least four years. Around Thanksgiving, she showed up with two huge masses on her face. She couldn’t eat, but she tried. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew she would die if I didn’t try to help her. I searched the internet for help and found a wildlife rehab nearby. The woman there told me to get the squirrel into a cat carrier and bring her over to her house via car.

I had the cat carrier, but I didn’t have much conviction that this would work. But I didn’t have time to think about how it would fail. I got the carrier out, put it on the porch and loaded it up with peanuts and blueberries. By this time, the squirrel had gone home and I waited on the porch to see if she would return. It was a matter of life or death. I’m not being dramatic – it really was. She came back, and got close enough to the carrier that I was able to push her in and shut the door. I called the woman and informed her that I was successful with the capture and I would be at her house within 20 minutes.

I expected the squirrel to get loose in my car and envisioned a horrific scene of torn upholstery, and a screaming driver with a squirrel on top of her head, but the squirrel was so good. She didn’t let out a peep and enjoyed the ride.

We got to the woman’s house, which is where she runs the rehab for wild animals, and I gave her my friend Ma’am.

I called the next day and inquired about my squirrel‘s face. Apparently, she had two pockets of infection. One had popped with some antibiotic treatment, but the other one needed more time. Ma’am was there nearly a month. I called every day, wanting to know how she was and if she could come home yet.

The woman was astonished that I would want to bring her home because usually people drop off wildlife and the woman releases them into the woods behind her house. But that’s not how I work. The squirrel lives here. She has a nest and a family and friends and a life here.

Remarkably, she got better. She never stopped growling at the woman who was helping her, but she became well enough to be released back to me. I was thrilled. I drove over to pick her up sometime around Christmas. She was quiet all the way home. I let her out of the box on the porch, where she usually eats, and she needed a few days to familiarize herself with her homebase. She came back in a few days, hungry and looking for snacks. I was worried she wouldn’t be as tame with me or as friendly, but I was worried for nothing. But I also didn’t want her to be as tame with me, I wanted her to have natural instincts to stay away from humans and to keep her wits about her out in the wild. 

As I compose this, it is May 9th, and I haven’t seen Ma’am in a few days, but that doesn’t really mean anything. A few times I haven’t seen her for a couple of weeks and she shows up unannounced. But once she’s here, everyone else must leave. She won’t have it any other way. (I have never seen an animal – besides my own cat, Susie – with such a will to live. I’m not sure what power charges that squirrel to keep living, but for Susie, I know it is love.)

Her face has healed up quite a bit since she got home, and although it may never be perfect, I tried my best to help an animal who badly needed it. I don’t regret anything, and I would do it all over again, even if the squirrel didn’t live.

Oh, there is a slight debate going on about whether the squirrel is a male or a female, although I’m almost 100% positive she’s a girl. I do know the squirrel growls at everyone and anything except me. She will fight off three other squirrels while she is eating walnuts (this is how a squirrel ends up with two pockets of infection on her face…). And I could swear I’ve seen her in previous summers with babies, but just in case, her name is Ma’am/Mr. Ma’am. It’s not important to me if the squirrel is a boy or a girl. What is important to me is that I help the helpless. I had to do it. She sought me out for help, and I couldn’t say no. I wouldn’t say no. So I said yes, and now I frequently have performative art on my front porch, which does include a sploot or two. May we all find kindness when we desperately need it. May we all be kindness when others need it. May we take refuge in the solace of nature when everything feels heavy and impossible. The animals are worth it. And the trees are worth it too, but that’s another post.

Ma’am under the cherry tree
Almonds are hard. 1/10. 
Splootin’ on a hot day 
Living her best life

©️2025, itsamyisaid.com

Photography · Rafa Nadal · Rafael Nadal · tennis · thank you · Writing

Memories of an Era (Rafa)

I posted this reel on Instagram right after Rafa lost his match in the Davis Cup, which was essentially his last professional match and was also his moment of retirement.

I downloaded the reel, but the music wasn’t available to download so it’s silent. Sing along to whatever tune you choose.

Yes, I know a photo appears twice. I was editing quickly and missed it.

The on-court photos that appear to have been taken by amateurs have been taken by amateurs. Namely, me. The on-court photos with Rafa and Feli López wearing blue shirts and white baseball caps were not taken by me, but were taken by someone who was sitting to my left. That person also appears in this video posing with Rafa in a conference room I reserved. I snapped that photo during the second interview with Rafa which I have not mentioned until this day. You’ll see me kneeling down with my elbows on the table. No, I was not angry. I was very tired.

The closing goodbye you’ll see at the end of this video, as well as a similar variation in the previous video, is paraphrased from something Rafa signed for me all those years ago. I will never forget it.

¡Vamos, Rafa! Por siempre.

I have about a thousand photos, but obviously they wouldn’t fit here

blogging · daily prompt · Humor · Rafa Nadal · Summer · tennis · Writing

Breakfast With Rafa

Describe one of your favorite moments.

It’s a top five moment. I’ve had a lot of favorite moments, but this one is top five, for sure. It was the first time in my life that I had a vision and a hope to accomplish something, and from start to finish, I did. The interview was my idea, and I brought it to the website team. Surprisingly, the stars lined up and everything from there went in my favor. I can’t adequately describe the feeling, other than to say that when whatever hopes and dreams you have/had for yourself seem insurmountable and then they happen, it’s euphoric. It’s the stunned disbelief, it’s the sitting back in your chair and laughing at what just happened. It’s the feeling that you get when you write a great poem – you’re in the zone. It’s an astonishment: did that just happen? It’s a gratefulness to the universe that is verbalized repeatedly. It’s a moment you don’t know if you can ever top, and you question why you would even try. It’s the culmination of hard work and determination and a heavy dose of stubbornness. It’s a thankfulness for loving words so much that you can use them to put together something other people will enjoy. It‘s Girl Power in practice.

Read my favorite moment here: Breakfast With Rafa.

©️2024, photo and interview itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved. Use of photo and any and all parts of the interview expressly prohibited unless given special permission by the author.

fantasy · fashion · fiction · French Fashion

Claire from Outlander

Daily writing prompt
If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

From the book and from the TV series. Why? If you have to ask me why, you don’t know Claire.

Claire is smart, stubborn, tough, headstrong and she travels through centuries. She gets to wear Parisian fashion in the 1700s. Shout out to the costume designers and all of the seamstresses that have worked on all of the seasons, and especially Season Two. Your work is amazing, and I want to be you when I grow up.

* weeps in 1700s French fashion*
Still weeping
😭
I’ve dried my tears of admiration so I can truly view this marvelous, dusty blue creation

Ah hem – pardon the fashion geek moment, I just had to indulge.

Back to Claire:

She has two husbands, which, if I’m being honest, is not something that I would want. (She’s not a polygamist, because the husbands are not in the same century, so it’s OK. They do get jealous of one another however, which I find comical.) Anyway, she’s an herbalist and a healer in the 1700s, and she’s a nurse who becomes a surgeon in the 1900s. She’s a tough broad. She gets herself and her husband Jamie into a fair amount of trouble by bringing her 1900s ideals back to the 1700s. An English woman ordering Scottish Highlanders around, cursing at them to the point they become silent and a wee bit frightened? Priceless.

Claire isn’t simply a tough broad, she’s also loving and kind. She isn’t afraid to speak her mind, though, whether it’s words filled with vinegar or words dripping with honey. Claire speaks the language of sarcasm, so sometimes the vinegar and honey is mixed, and we end up with a vinaigrette.

A friend of mine once told me I reminded her of Claire and vice versa. That’s probably one of the best compliments I’ve ever received in my life.

Speaking of my life, I occasionally live it vicariously through Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser, my favorite heroine.

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

All images property of their respective owners

fiction · prose · Short story · Women’s literature · Writing

The Ice Queen

Art by Kevin

Perhaps – no – most assuredly, it is I who placed myself in this position. I do not speak of ruling the queendom. No. That is my birthright. That you don’t see a throne next to mine is my doing.

When I was born a girl I was expected to marry. And marry well. From the age of four, suitors were brought to me. Old men! Can you imagine? Vows were to be exchanged for titles given. Oddly, every single one of these suitors was deemed not fit by my father, or fate took them another direction. Some in not so pleasant directions.

When I was twenty years old and started refusing suitors, my father would not speak to me for three months. It was quite possibly the downfall of his health. You can blame that on me too, if you wish.

When I was twenty years old, there was a new stable lad employed to work with our finest horses – mine included. The lad was my age, and while he showed proper deference to me, he also showed me friendship, which no other servant had the courage to do. He would prepare my horse and sometimes we would have long discussions about life. Ha! What do two twenty-year-old children know about life? He treated me as a person, not as a queen-in-waiting. He did not let me get away with much. My attitude is often times haughty. I make no apologies for it. I am Queen and at that time I was queen-in-training. I must be strong at all times. I must not and will not entertain fools.

But when I was around him, I did not feel like a queen-in-training, and it was rather difficult to act haughty. I felt like who I imagined I always should feel like as a child, when I dreamt of having another life. A simple life, a life raising chickens and cattle and having a husband, friend and lover in one person, someone who could understand me, and would want to try. And children. We would have three children. They would laugh and play in the grass, their cheeks rosy from exertion, their tiny legs traveling as fast as they could to catch the chickens, and we would delight in the sight. My husband and I.

I began having the same fantastical daydreams when I was around this lad, not just when I was alone. I watched when he would interact with others, and I had people observe him when I could not. He never raised his voice in anger to anyone. He was as calm as the river on a late summer evening. The aura around him was yellow, just like the sunset on that late summer eve. His hair was flaxen and soft, I just knew it. I wished to touch it, but I dared not. It would be most improper, and dangerous for him. His eyes were dark blue and smiling. Always smiling. They twinkled with mischief more than not. When we were near the horses and I could freely be myself, I never felt more alive.

Shortly after I turned twenty-one, for several days I did not see the stable lad. My concern was that he had become ill. I was mistaken and quite pleased to see him when he returned. My ladies-in-waiting helped me into my favorite dress: the light blue silk. It was far simpler than anything I would wear for official business, but it was perfect for talking with the stable lad. I made my way to the barn and saw him brushing the horses. I could feel my face light up as if the sun itself were grazing my skin. I greeted the lad and asked him if he was well. He said he was quite well. He had very recently exchanged wedding vows. That was why he was not at the stables.

This was the first time I had to use the Ice Queen façade. And I was yet to be Queen. I congratulated him and quickly made an excuse to part company. The façade wouldn’t hold much longer, and I could not bear to be seen as the soft creature underneath. As soon as I turned away, I could feel my countenance change into one of grief and broken-heartedness. My eyes shed tears even as I told them not to. He called out to me, but I wouldn’t turn around. I could not bear it.

I spent the rest of the day and night alone in my chambers. No one was permitted. Of course by now you must’ve guessed: I was in love with the lad. He had never once mentioned he was betrothed, and if he had, what could I have done with that information? I was meant to marry above him. Millions of my tears would not have changed anything. But knowing he was married made the realization that he could never be married to me more pronounced. I wished I were his wife. I wondered what she looked like. I never asked anything about her, even though I saw the lad often at the stables. We talked and joked after my initial heartbreak had healed a bit, but there was this thing in between us now, a barrier. I didn’t want it there, but a wife is hard to remove. A queen-in-waiting impossible to get out of. The situation was ill-fated.

I became Queen at twenty-five, just as the stable lad became a father for the first time. My father‘s efforts to find me a suitable match were unsuccessful. I decided no one was good enough and I held to that belief. I disappointed my father and I did it intentionally.

When I was thirty, his second child was born. I saw him still, at the stables, and we spoke as we always had. We never spoke of his wife or of his children. It is not that I didn’t care, it is because I cared too much. To know about his life would reopen wounds that were almost – but not quite – scars.

I have recently learned that his wife has run off with a wealthy man. The children are grown, the lad now a man of my own age. You may be asking yourself, Dear Reader, “What now will the Ice Queen do? She never married. She rules the queendom fairly, but suffers no fools. She surrounds herself with birds and other creatures, including her beloved horses, and she is old enough to make her own decisions regarding her own queendom and her own person.”

Let me tell you then. I am sure you want to know. And even if you don’t, I am going to tell you, because I am Queen.

One crisp morning, I walked alone to the stables. I found my lad filing the horses’ hooves. His expression was forlorn, as one would expect. He looked up at me with teary eyes that made the blue stand out even more. He was much older, we both were now. I could not stop myself from crying with him. He hunched over, embarrassed by his tears and apologized. He did not curtsy, and I was glad for it. I took his hand and held it between my own two hands. We had never touched in this way before. Yes, Reader, it was still not appropriate. But I am Queen, and I rule the queendom.

What do you think happened next, Dear Reader?

I will tell you. Not because I am Queen, but because I am a woman. And I know you want to know. But let’s keep it between us.

In the next moment, I saw yellow, like the sunset on a summer eve, I felt soft hair under my hands, and a gentle touch on my cheek. Right before I closed my eyes, I saw dark blue, like the blue of gently rolling river waves with a strong current underneath that cannot be seen, only felt.

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

{This is my submission for No Theme Thursday (3/21/24) – thanks once again for the art inspiration, Kevin!}

fiction · prose · Short story · The Traveler · Writing

Nicholas

Art by Kevin

This is my response to Kevin‘s No Theme Thursday Challenge, 2/29/24 Edition

Thanks for the art inspiration once again, Kevin.

💫

I’ve been up and down these streets, The fine leather of my boots ruined.

For what? For whom?

Who is this brash American with her strange clothing and even stranger claims that she knows me?

I left her with Mrs. Grant right after we dined. It was no more than half past six. She was going on about frogs in her shoes, but I saw neither frogs nor shoes. What That Woman calls shoes, I have never seen in my life. She’s strange, almost barbaric. The aggravating American accent, the bombastic strength of mind and loose of lip! And her frustrating beguiling face. Pleasant and full of freedom. With a little fear. She frustrates me so!

Enough of that. The storm began at 6:45, as I had just left the drive of Mrs. Grant’s establishment. There was a loud clap of thunder. And then I heard Mrs. Grant screaming, “She is gone, Nicky, she is gone!”

Alarmed, I ran back to the establishment and met Mrs. Grant as she was running toward me. The raindrops began and quickly became torrential. We made our way inside, where Mrs. Grant could hardly get out her words. “She is gone Nicky, she simply…disappeared!” It pained me to see Mrs. Grant in such a state. I rested a hand on her shoulder and asked her to explain. But I already knew who she meant. She said Miss Reynolds went up to lie down, and that was the last she had seen of her.

Lightning struck. Maybe once, maybe twice. Mrs. Grant heard a scream from Miss Reynolds’ room. She ran up as quickly as she could, only to find the room vacated. Miss Reynolds was nowhere to be found. Milton checked the entire property, as did I, several times. I assured Mrs. Grant that I would find Miss Reynolds, that perhaps she had gone down to the place where she had fallen in the road. Perhaps she thought she left something behind there. And as the doctor assessed, Miss Reynolds had suffered a concussion, and may be confused. Perhaps she was not thinking coherently, and would try to go back to that place in the middle of the night. In a severe thunderstorm. This American unnerves me so! Alas, I must find her.

I walked the streets again and again. Searching. She is not here. My whole self is drenched and the storm continues. My stomach in knots. My countenance forlorn. As I continue walking, I start to wonder, Was she just a wish? The storm lights up the night, and there is a figure up ahead. Is it her? Is it my gypsy?

💫

This piece is a blend of three things: Nicholas from my Traveler series; Gypsy, the song by Fleetwood Mac; and a smidge of American Woman, the Lenny Kravitz version. (Yes, I know American Woman is an anti-war song, but I like to use it in this context sometimes. Ok, all of the time.)

Gypsy

Song by Fleetwood Mac

So I’m back to the velvet underground
Back to the floor that I love
To a room with some lace and paper flowers
Back to the gypsy that I was 
To the gypsy that I was

And it all comes down to you
Well, you know that it does and
Lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice
Oh and it lights up the night
And you see your gypsy
You see your gypsy

To the gypsy
That remains
Her face says freedom
With a little fear
I have no fear
Have only love
And if I was a child
And the child was enough
Enough for me to love
Enough to love

She is dancing away from you now
She was just a wish
She was just a wish
And her memory is all that is left for you now
You see your gypsy, oh
You see your gypsy

Ooh ooh, ohh, ohh-oh

Lightning strikes
Maybe once, maybe twice
And it all comes down to you
Ooh oh, and it all comes down to you
Lightning strikes
Maybe once, maybe twice 
And (oh) it all comes down to you
I still see your (your) bright eyes, bright eyes
(And it all comes down to you)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Stevie Nicks

Gypsy lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.

💫

American Woman

American woman
Stay away from me
American woman
Mama, let me be

Don’t come hangin’ ’round my door
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin’ old with you

Now woman, stay away
American woman, listen what I say

American woman
Get away from me
American woman
Mama, let me be

Don’t come knockin’ ’round my door
I don’t wanna see your shadow no more
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else’s eyes

Now woman, get away
American woman, listen what I say

American woman
I said, get away
American woman
Listen what I say

Don’t come hangin’ ’round my door
Don’t want to see your face no more
I don’t need your war machines
I don’t need your ghetto scenes
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else’s eyes

Now woman, get away
American woman, listen what I say

American woman
Stay away from me
American woman
Mama, let me be

I gotta go, I gotta get away
Babe, I gotta go, I wanna fly away
I’m gonna leave you, woman
I’m gonna leave you, woman
I’m gonna leave you, woman
I’m gonna leave you, woman

Bye-bye, bye-bye
Bye-bye, bye-bye
(American woman) You’re no good for me and I’m no good for you
(American woman) I look you right straight in the eye
I tell you what I’m gonna do
(American woman) I’m gonna leave you woman, you know I gotta go
(American woman) I’m gonna leave you woman, I gotta go
(American woman) I gotta go
I gotta go, American woman
Yeah

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Burton Cummings / Garry Peterson / Randall Bachman / M.j. Kale

American Woman lyrics © Shillelagh Music, Shillelagh America Music.

💫

chick lit · fiction · Humor · The Traveler · Writing

The Traveler – Sequel

Read The Traveler either for the first time, or to refresh your memory before reading this. Reading the sequel won’t make much sense unless you start there and return here.

Mrs. Grant!” Cole exclaimed, leaping from the carriage just as a rotund blonde woman of about 40 years of age bounded from the huge, wooden double doors of the white stone house. She toddled to the carriage, holding onto her straw bonnet all the way.

“Nicky!” the blonde woman squealed, her voice far more high-pitched than her rotund figure would have indicated. They met on the gravel driveway in a very affectionate embrace. I was disgusted and surprised by my jealousy-tinged gut reaction at the sight. I clucked at my reaction and rolled my eyes.

“Ah, ha!” I yelled loudly from my perch in the carriage. “You said your friends call you Cole!” I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my left eye. “Why did your blonde friend here call you Nicky? Stop this charade right now, Langdon! It’s not funny anymore.”

“Oof, Nicky, you’ve got yourself a wild one there!” Mrs. Grant said with a snort of laughter.

He sighed and whispered something I couldn’t decipher, no matter how far I leaned in their direction. He threw me a look of exasperation. “Yes, and since Mrs. Grant is my aunt, she can call me whatever she wishes. She prefers the name Nicky, sorry to say.” Mrs. Grant swatted at Nick’s shoulder and he ducked out of the way, giggling.

“Oh,” I said quietly to myself, settling back into my seat. His time-travel charade remained intact and my confusion was growing. But that wave of jealousy was gone.

“Miss Reynolds, you may exit the carriage,” Nick waved to me.

“It’s Maisie, and don’t order me around, Langdon,” I snipped.

I hopped down, landing softly in the gravel, my 21st century attire not only looking very out of place, but very soiled from the day’s events. Mrs. Grant tried her best not to stare at my disheveled hair and clothes, nor at my bag. I saw her mouth “Langdon?” to Nick, as if she were questioning my mental state. You’re not the only one who thinks l’m crazy, lady. All three of us here, and the doc back in town, are of that mindset.

We walked through the huge wooden doors into an impressively large yet cozy foyer, under foot was a white marble floor and on the walls, a relaxing robin’s egg blue paint. I hadn’t seen plaster walls for years, and wondered for the third time in about as many minutes if the ability to see detail this richly meant that I was able to dream vividly, or if I was indeed supplanted into 1904. Shaking off the thought as quickly as it came, I looked around. There was not an air of grandiosity of the room, which was a bit odd for such a high ceiling and majestic outward appearance.

The place was comfortable, spacious and had a pleasant, cheerful, almost playful vibe. A spindly, tall man of about fifty came up to me nodded once and bowed ever so slightly, reaching for my carryon and garment bag. I handed them over cautiously, not sure where they would end up, but making a mental note to be sure to have them when I left. Langdon was not going to accuse me of losing his museum’s property! My eye landed on a statue perched on the mahogany side table next to me: a winking elephant. I snorted slightly at the sight, Nick turning his head discreetly in my direction at the sound. I rolled my eyes and looked away, turning my attention to the painted portraits hanging on the far wall leading into a narrower hallway. “Who are all of these children?” I asked as my eyes scanned portrait after portrait. Nick and Mrs. Grant were whispering about me (again), and my voice cutting across the room and echoing off of the floor seemed to startle them. “Are these children yours, Mrs. Grant?” I asked, waving my hand vaguely in the direction of the wall of portraits, bewildered. l turned to stare at her with wide eyes, taking stock of her appearance, wondering how she’d birthed over twenty-five children. She was large and quite sturdy-looking, but not old enough to have produced so many kids.

“Heavens no, my dear!” she exclaimed and hurried over to me. “At least not in the usual sense,” she added, confusing me further. Langdon did his best to try and hide a smirk, but I saw it.

He cleared his throat and sauntered over to us. “Mrs. Grant runs an orphanage here, Miss—”

“Maisie,” I reminded him drolly. “What’s with your short-term memory problem? I’m the one who hit her head, not you.”

“Maisie. Right. Mrs. Grant takes in children whose parents are not able to raise them, due to this reason or that.” He seemed uncomfortable, shifting his weight from one pristine black boot to the other, his sentence cut short when it should have contained more information – more revealing, juicy information. His hair fell into his right eye as he glanced to the floor, inspecting his pristine boots for invisible scuffs or scrapes, perhaps.

“Like, if their mothers are unwed young ladies or if their parents have died, or something equally as scandalous?” I bluntly asked, letting my curious eyes slide from the portraits to his downcast, immeasurably attractive face. I thought I’d test the waters; see if he was really going to conform to proper manners of the day. It was 1904, was it not?

Langdon’s mouth twitched ever so slightly, threatening to smile. He held it in well, though, and before he could speak, Mrs. Grant piped up, “I see you speak your mind, Miss Maisie! Good, good…good indeed! Yes!” she exclaimed excitedly, something secretive in her expression. “The orphans who come to me are special cases…”

“Special cases?” I implored, interested.

“Special cases,” Langdon piped up. “The orphans Mrs. Grant accepts into her home are juvenile delinquents who have been deemed incorrigible by their guardians and, in most cases, the rest of society.” He smiled warmly into my eyes, inviting me in, if I was willing. I wasn’t.

“Oh…” I frowned slightly. “That’s very admirable of you, Mrs. Grant,” I declared, squinting my eyes as I pondered what Langdon was getting at. “So Langdon, you brought me to stay here, in an orphanage filled with juvenile delinquents who have been cast out.”

He shrugged his shoulders casually. “I thought you could teach them a thing or two about behavior.” His dark eyes twinkled with mischief.

“You’re saying I could teach them about good behavior?” I said brightly, playing along.

“Now, I didn’t say that, did I? Milton!” Langdon suddenly bellowed for the servant, causing me to jerk my head back and open my eyes widely.

“Yes, sir?” Milton dutifully appeared from the shadows.

“Good man! Mrs. Grant has told me of the new Egyptian pieces she has acquired for the children’s history lesson. Would you show me to them, please? You know how I fancy history.”

The two men left and I stood staring after them. Damn that wily man. He’s as annoying in 1904 as he is in 2005.

Mrs. Grant stuttered and moved closer to me, frowning slightly at the sight of my clothing, perhaps attempting to distract me from wanting to chase after Langdon and smack him for insulting me. “Perhaps, Miss Maisie, you would care to change your attire? You must be quite uncomfortable following your… long journey.” I had no idea what Langdon had told her regarding my “long journey,” nor was I presently wishing to ask.

I glanced down to my crumb, coffee, dirt and sweat covered ensemble, embarrassed. “Oh…well, yes, that would be lovely.” I half-smiled and accepted Mrs. Grant’s warm grin with ease.

“Milton has placed your belongings in a guest room on the second floor, I believe. Milton!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Milton appeared again, without Langdon.

Poor Milton; he could have really used a pair of roller skates. I smiled to myself imagining the tall man on wheels.

“Have you put Miss Maisie’s belongings in the Pink Room?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Capital!” she exclaimed and clapped. I watched her with fascination. I hadn’t heard that word used in that way since the last time I watched ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ Oooo…maybe I’ll see Colin Firth here! Oh wait… he’s not real…well, he’s real, but he’s not here, he’s in 2005…drats!

Disturbed by the increasing speed by which 2005 seemed to be deserting me, I linked my arm through Mrs. Grant’s and distracted my troubled mind by thinking instead of Langdon in his tight breeches and pristine boots. Insufferable man.

“It’s pink…it’s definitely pink…” I noted, when Mrs. Grant inquired of my opinion. I gnawed at my bottom lip and scanned the room. In fact, the only items in the room that were not pink were my bag and me and Mrs.Grant. Milton had laid the bag on the floor right next to the door, as if he had been in a hurry, or had been frightened of the bag. Or maybe he had been frightened of all of this pink.

I wandered about the room, peeking in drawers, surveying the place, and the view out of my window. My mouth curved into an involuntary smile when I saw Langdon, under a large oak tree, hopping about on his shiny-booted feet, apparently mortally wounded by a very vicious-looking wooden sword a small boy of about eight years old had impaled him with.

Mrs. Grant came to stand beside me, letting out a soft cluck of air. “He’s good with the children. He’ll spend hours playing with them, engaging their minds and their spirits, and ask nothing in return.”

“Is that so?” I asked, a different side to Langdon suddenly revealed, a side that I admitted to myself I’d like to see more of.

But which Langdon was this? What year was I in? Was this all a delusion? I put my hand to the glass of the window and felt it cool to my touch, smelled Mrs. Grant’s lavender perfume alongside me, mixed with the fragrance of the pink roses to my left, on the tall dresser. It all seemed so real…even the way Langdon peered up to the window, startled to see us standing there. Even the way his glossy brown hair flopped into his eye and he smiled a bit bashfully, realizing we had been watching him.

“I am not his aunt, you know,” Mrs. Grant said suddenly, breaking the spell.

“No?” I asked, my heart suddenly pounding within my chest.

I thought for sure she could see it beating.

She shook her head, frowning a bit. “No, I am not his aunt.

I am his nanny. His aunt was a dreadful woman…” Mrs. Grant’s frown spread to all of her features, her eyes clouding over in remembrance.

“Mrs. Grant, Langdon is nearly thirty. He still requires a nanny?” I was being witty, or I was attempting to be witty; Mrs. Grant was still lost in thought, and I doubted she’d heard me.

“Of course not, dear!” she giggled. “I was employed as his nanny until he grew too old to need me any longer. And then his aunt died…” We were both watching Langdon at play. By now, he had been definitively killed, lying prone on the grass, allowing me a fine view of a fine view.

“Does Langdon, erm…Nick have any siblings?” I thought of

Penny and Sam and felt a tug at my heart.

Mrs. Grant chuckled and rapped at the window before flinging it open. “Hey there, Davy Jones, mind your manners with Mr. Langdon! Say you’re appreciative to him for allowing you to murder him so violently, if you please!”

I stifled a chortle and pursed my lips. “Davy Jones?” I asked, trying to remain straight-faced. I could go either way with this; Davy Jones as in the singer from the Monkees, or Davy Jones as in the bizarre euphemism for death: Davy Jones’s locker.

“What? Oh, yes,” she answered, distractedly, keeping close watch on Davy Jones. He did in fact bow to Langdon, who was still lying on the grass, though he had rolled over and was fending off some kind of large, hairy animal. Langdon’s face broke out in a dimpled grin when the dog (?) swiped its long tongue across his forehead. “Yes, that’s our newest charge, David Jones. He’s ten years old, but small for his age.” She sighed with resignation or something like it. “His father died last year leaving him as man of the house, and his mother was ill-fit to care for him; she left him alone most nights to…well, to do what she did to earn money. In the end, it was not enough. Young Davy took to stealing to feed himself.”

“How did he end up here?” I wondered.

“Ahh. Well…one evening, he tried to pickpocket Nicky.”

“Get out! Really?”

“Oh yes…and Nicky, being the generous, forgiving man that he is, instead of having him dealt with by the police, arranged with the boy’s mother that he should come here to live.”

My eyebrow had shot up and stayed there upon hearing Mrs. Grant say generous and forgiving, and have those words be linked to Langdon. I had not thought he was capable of either, whether in 1904 or in 2005.

I frowned as I watched the boy, now practically riding the dog (?), nothing of his past life evident in his play. My eyes shifted to Langdon, who was casually sprawled out under the tree, spinning a blade of grass between his well-shaped thumb and index finger. My eyes traveled from his hands to his face, only to realize he was watching me as intently as I was watching him. And from underneath his brows, as was I. From my vantage point upstairs, far away, brave, and out of immediate danger, I held his sultry brown eyes until the wind and Davy Jones’s laughter diverted them.

“So tell me about these siblings, Mrs. Grant,” I said a few moments later, as I was preparing to undress. “Is there…running water in the house?” I asked meekly, somewhat embarrassed by not only the soiled clothing I wore, but by the question. I didn’t want her to think I was totally fooled by their 1804 ruse, but then again, I was leaning towards thinking there wasn’t a ruse. Either way, I needed a shower.

Mrs. Grant’s blue eyes suddenly expanded widely, appearing very much like marbles about to roll out of her head. “Do you hear rushing water, Miss Maisie? Oh, heavens! Not that leak in the roof again! Mil-ton!” She had run out of the room at breakneck speed, leaving me no chance to call after her and explain. I bit my bottom lip in thought, my dilemma no closer to being solved.

I took a deep, frustrated breath; the action was cleansing but did not set my mind at ease. I hastily undressed, tossing my dirty clothes into a heap on the floor and sat heavily on the bed: comfortable, but lumpy. Not like my mattress at home, that’s for sure. I frowned at the pink covering on the bed. The tiny rosebuds were meticulously hand sewn. I peered closely at my surroundings; not one item in the room was what could be labeled “modern.”

“What’s that movie with Jim Carrey? The one where hes been put into his own world and he doesn’t know it…crap! What is the name of that movie!” I had begun talking to myself as I dropped the gown over my head, Mrs. Grant having disappeared from sight and no running water in my immediate future; desperation and jet lag had set in. I was putting the finishing touches on the day dress ensemble that I had brought along in the bag. The buttonhole was still a mess – you’d think in a hallucination the buttonhole would have been fixed, but no.

“The Truman Show!” I yelled to no one in particular, reaching around to affix the button within the tattered buttonhole.

Out of my immediate field of vision, but very definitely a blur on the outer edge of my sight, a green blob leapt past my doorway, followed by another larger, somewhat fatter green blob that landed directly in front of my doorway. I stood stark still, waiting, watching. “Ribbit!” said the fatter green blob to me as I raised an eyebrow at it. I moved closer to my new guest, wondering how he’d arrived, and who else he’d brought with him besides the guy who’d already taken off before him.

“Hello there,” I said after a few moments of studying the reflection of the crouching small boy in the large mirror hanging in the hallway. “You didn’t know I could see you there, did you? Your frogs went that way,” I pointed down the hall. His stifled, ornery giggles turned to wide-eyed wonderment as he saw me in the mirror. He shuffled to his feet, his large green eyes blinking under his dark brown, shaggy bangs. His head shook slowly.

“I didn’t think so. Hello, my name is Maisie. What’s yours?” extended my hand and he stared at it.

“My name is James, ma’am,” he replied courteously, his attention suddenly diverted.

“My frogs!” he exclaimed.

Apologies for the cliffhanger folks, but this is where the story ends. For now. Please let me know in the comments if you want the story to continue! It was intended to be a novel at the outset. What does everyone think of that idea? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments!

The Traveler is here

The Traveler – Prequel I is here

The Traveler – Prequel II is here

The Traveler – Prequel III is here

The Traveler – Prequel IV is here

©️2024, itssmyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Image©️thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com

chick lit · fiction · Humor · The Traveler · Women’s literature · Writing

The Traveler – Prequel IV

I was the donkey at the party with the tail about to be pinned to its ass, the piñata that was going to be whacked, the—you get the idea. It was going to be uncomfortable, that much I knew, but what I didn’t know was from which direction the jab would come and if I could escape without losing much blood.

I noticed three other people in the room as I walked through the glass-paned French doors, all female and none too happy with me, it seemed. The oldest of the women was a pretty lady, in the way that older English women are: no wrinkles, no sun spots and very fair with full cheeks even though the rest of their bodies are slim. She had her blonde hair styled into a bob and sprayed stiff with hair spray (to combat the rain here, I supposed) and her clothes were well-tailored, of course.

The other two looked as if they had been shipped over from an American mall just today and would say, “Hi! Like, did you see this new lip gloss that I just now bought? Oh. My. God. It is sooo pretty!” any second. Pretty girls, with curly brown hair and loads of energy that barely contained itself in those cushy leather chairs.

Each of their eyes landed on me just as I had gotten through scanning them and the spacious, state of the art conference room we were in.

“Hullo!” Penelope piped up. (It was no “Hi!” but it was close and said with as much exuberance as any American kid I knew.)

They all leapt out of their chairs and bounded over, even Lady Langdon, in her own dignified sort of leaping manner, who, lagging behind her daughters considerably, made her way over.

“I’m so sorry l’m late. Please accept my sincere apologies. I was… detained. Out front. By him.” I shot Earl the Black Pearl a look of contempt as I pointed at him over my shoulder. While he glared at me as if he were bored by the very sound of my voice, his sisters looked at each other with raised brows and faint amusement. Lady Priscilla simply smiled and changed the subject to something along the lines of “How was your flight?” Translation: “I am changing the subject at once to avoid this uncomfortable feeling i have now because my son is clearly a jackass.” (OK, so that was my translation, but I was sure I wasn’t far off from her meaning.)

Nick handled the introductions and I jumped right into the speech I had prepared. You do realize, however, that this speech was written with the intention that I be able to recite it all at once, smoothly, in about fifteen minutes and then get straight into setting up the job? Sure, it sounds like a reasonable expectation, but no one told that to the jerk in the front row who asked me a completely unrelated question just as I was making an important point.

“Do you require any batteries for your camera?”

“No. And actually, I was commenting that your collection seems to be quite impressive and has many pieces from the Regency era, which happens to be my favorite to study.”

“Don’t you just love Jane Austen?” Penelope piped up.

“Yes, Penelope, I do! She was a fantastic writer and timeless in her observations.” I smiled and winked at her.

“So, as I was saying, the main reason we want to set everything up in here is for logistical—“

“Do you really admire Jane Austen?” His voice was so…venomous, that I couldn’t ignore him, nor could I slap him in front of his mother, however much my fingers twitched to do so. I did snap my pencil in half, however.

“Yes,” I ground out through clenched teeth.

“Why? I find her sexist, boring and clannish.” He leaned back in his chair expecting an argument from the looks of it.

I felt my mouth gape open and hang there like a fly catcher.

“Are you allergic to shutting up? Or do you have a touch of diarrhea of the mouth?” I hastily shuffled my papers and mumbled to myself under my breath, “Ha! He calls Jane Austen sexist, boring and clannish…I can’t think of three more apt words to describe him in the English language…” Then, just as quickly as I had began my mumbled tirade, I stopped, fearing I would be sent home on the next flight by Lady Priscilla in a matter of minutes, if I didn’t. Say goodbye to your new promotion, and your job, Maisie…

Instead of the ripping of a new one I thought I’d get from Lady P., what I heard and saw were three females stifling laughs while one pig-headed male turned all shades of red and stared daggers through me until I’d finished talking. But–oh-so-thankfully–he did keep his mouth shut and l yanked my self-assurance back to front and center using my bad attitude as an impetus.

“Any questions?” I asked cheerfully as I zipped my bag closed.

“No? OK, then I have one: may I see the collection now?” To say I was anxious to see what they held would be an understatement. My fingers tickled to don those gloves and lovingly caress the priceless capsules of history. I couldn’t wait to see each piece, touch it, imagine what the person’s life was like who wore such an elaborate costume. Only the richest of the rich preserved their clothing through time; everyone else wore and recycled their clothing until it was in tattered rags. Poor me, to be forced to handle fine silks, cottons and wools in some of the most skilled handiwork ever. I sighed happily from the burden.

“Of course, Maisie! Let’s get started right now, in fact.

Nicholas, would you please unlock the door to the storage area?” Priscilla (as she directed me to call her after I floundered over ‘Mrs. Lady’ and ‘Your Royal Errrr’…) asked Nick as we all made our way down the large hallway and down a flight of steps.

Nick nodded and jogged ahead of us to get the keys. I kept one eye on Priscilla and the other on Nick’s shapely backside. Sue me for having eyes that work too well sometimes. And what a nice sight it was.

“Whew! It’s cold in here!” I said out loud to distract myself from looking at him too long.

“Yes, it is. It’s temperature and humidity controlled to protect the clothing,” Captain Obvious announced as he flipped on all the lights.

“I know, I am familiar with the field in which I work. I was simply making an observation.” I scanned the room and saw racks and racks of covered garments. It felt like Christmas.

“Oh,” he said as if I had dejected him out of the room, right onto his ass.

“Sorry Nick, I didn’t mean to snap, it’s just that I’m really tired from my journey.” Priscilla and the girls went off to investigate why one of the racks was slightly crooked; I heard their clipped feminine voices echo as they walked away. I turned to Nick. I did feel guilty for being snippy, and I was about ready to apologize for everything nasty I had said since I arrived. I studied his actions as he waited for his mother to get out of hearing range; only when she had gone far enough, did he walk slowly up to me, lean down into my face and make me think he was going to kiss me. My heart started to race from seeing his nicely shaped mouth up close and I backed away with a frown that was soon to be paired with a roundhouse kick if he didn’t quit it. He chuckled, I guess due to my expression, and backed off.

“What are you doing?” I whispered loudly. I turned to walk away and I heard him say my name softly. I hesitated only because of the tone of his voice. It was intriguing.

“What?”I rolled my eyes as I waited.

Stupid man, he leaned into my face again! “Hey! I told you—” I swatted him away.

“Maisie, I think it’s important that I tell you this with discretion,” he whispered softly, his rich eyes looking deeply into mine. I felt my toes go numb.

“Wh, wh, what?” I stuttered uncoolly.

“Maisie…” he hushed, his breath tickling my face.

“Yes?” I breathed. He brushed his thumb along my face, sending chills up my arms. (Check: toes were still numb.)

“You have a piece of food stuck to your face. Looks like scone…saving it for later?” He opened my hand and placed the yummy treat I had overlooked into my palm. I cursed myself silently for doing a hasty job of checking for crumbs in the rearview mirror. Nick bowed to me as he elegantly backed away, flashed me a blinding smile and winked as he called to his mom, “Mum, I can fix that rack, if you wish.”

©️2023, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Prequel I is here

Prequel II is here

Prequel III is here

And where it all started (sort of) The Traveler is here

Image credit: Kevin at thebeginningatlast9.Wordpress.com

chick lit · fiction · Humor · The Traveler · Women’s literature · Writing

The Traveler – Prequel III

“You’re squinting. Shouldn’t you have worn sunglasses on a sunny day like today?” I raised my arm to shield my eyes to view this joker more clearly.

“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious. I left them at home, mistakenly believing the sun doesn’t shine here.” He was tall, that much I gathered, though I still couldn’t make out his features, and he was decked out in jeans and a t-shirt with thousands of tiny spots of paint on them. I hoped this meant he was a worker in the museum, not that this shirt was actually his idea of fashion.

“That’s a rather stereotypical belief, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” I shrugged.

“Anyway, it doesn’t much matter unless I can’t purchase any sunglasses here,” I snipped. I took a deep breath and let it out loudly and slowly. It had to be 9:50 already. No time for banter with a doofus.

He moved smoothly down three steps, ending up at ground level and looking me square in my eyes, even though I stood on the first step and was 5’10” with those heels on. Well. Nosy he may be, bordering on rude even, but I almost forgot about all of it when I looked at him.

Mr. Rude Painter Guy was tall, I was right about that. Mid-twenties, I would guess, and he had the uncanny ability to cause the next snide remark I had lined up to halt on my tongue, just by being. His wavy, dark brown hair nearly glowed red in the bright morning sun and his eyes were like rich chocolate with a touch of cayenne. He had a smattering of freckles on the bridge of his straight, olive-colored nose, the sight of which erased the slight frown that had formed on my face. His cheekbones were disgustingly high and angular (yeah, I was jealous) and his lips were wide and voluptuous (again, jealous). I stood there perfectly still, staring blankly at him. My name had eluded me at present.

“Ahem.” He cleared his throat and did this thing with his eyes that made my left knee buckle slightly.

“Can I help you?” I asked stiffly, as if I had developed amnesia and had made myself a proprietor of the establishment.

“Pardon me?” He seemed confused and that vaguely bugged me.

“What?” I scrunched my nose at him.

“What?” Now he was confused and sounded so.

What? What?” I couldn’t help ribbing him solely for amusement.

He was standing close enough that I heard him growl. “You were the one committing trespassing moments ago. My question to you was, ‘May I help you?’ as you proceeded up these steps here.” He pointed down as if I had no clue I was perched on steps.

“So?” I turned to continue up the stairs and shrugged him off. “I’m going up here now. Buh-bye.”

“I can’t allow you to do that.” He grabbed my arm to stop me.

“Excuse me!” I yanked my arm away and glared at him. “And why can’t you allow me to do that?”

“I don’t know who you are, for one, and for another, I doubt the Langdons would have any business with you.”

Mr. Rude Painter Guy has not only a biting tongue, but a superiority complex. Impressive. “I have an appointment that started, like—“ I glanced to my watch. “It started five minutes ago!

I’d love to chat with you, but I have to run.” He grabbed me again before I could out-maneuver him.

Who are you?” his eyes narrowed at me and became nasty, ugly, most definitely bitter chocolate.

“What’s it to you?”

He growled. I found the sound perversely erotic, and wrinkled my nose at this self-awareness.

“Fine. I see I am not going to make my meeting anytime soon if I don’t tell you. My name is Maisie Reynolds, and if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Mr. Langdon that I am already late for—thanks to you.” I yanked my arm away for the last time and marched up the stairs, relieved to feel the breeze cool me.

“Maisie Reynolds? You’re Maisie Reynolds?”

“Yessss, for thirty years now. And you are…?” I stopped at the door and leaned my head against it for balance when his probable identity first flashed in my mind. I spoke into the door and pleaded with it to hold me up, just as he opened his mouth.

“I’m Nick Langdon, Maisie Reynolds. Now allow me to escort you to your meeting with Mr. Langdon. Oh…that’s right, I will be taking my father’s place this morning, as he had an emergency to attend to. I was venturing out to meet you when I came upon you breaking and entering.” He had the nerve to smirk and cough to cover his laugh.

“Just entering, not breaking. The stupid thing is already broken, Nick Langdon. And I heard you cover your laugh just now, and I know you knew who I was the whole time, so just stuff any further comments up your lovely arse, please.”

He was polite enough to allow me to enter the building first, and in utter silence, save my loudly clicking heels, led me down the hollow hall. I had the strangest sensation he was leering at my butt.

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Read The Traveler – Prequel I here

Read The Traveler – Prequel II here

Read The Traveler – where it all started

image credit: Kevin at thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com

daily prompt · Humor · Writing

Dear Amy

Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?

It’s OK to feel like you don’t fit in. Please don’t pluck your eyebrows so thin. They will never grow back. Learn how to drive mom’s stick shift. There will come a time when they won’t exist anymore. Crazy, right? Do not get rid of your white denim Guess jean jacket. In 2024 you’ll be wanting it back. (But thanks for keeping the blue denim Guess jean jacket.) Don’t worry about that boy. Or that other boy. I know, it was sad when Matt moved away. You’ll never know what happened to him. But remember that day when he put a dime in your penny loafers and jammed it so far in you couldn’t get it out? Well, when the shoes got too old and you remembered the dime was in there, you spent an hour digging it out. Then you taped the dime to your journal. It’s still there. You should’ve asked Mark R. if you could’ve had a ride in his Cabrio. He would’ve said yes. Remember how you and your friend would pass notes to him in the hallway? You’ll keep those letters. But you’ll never look at them until now when you’re writing this and you’re thinking about it.

The whirlwind that was junior, senior and then freshman college year will be worth it. Because of all of that, you learned to see everyone equally. And you’ll never forget hiding in the dorm closet with the alarm going off. Don’t worry about being shy. As you get older, you’ll learn to be more extroverted, even though inside, you feel the same as your teenage self. Still misunderstood.

Enjoy the friends you have, because as you get older, it becomes harder to make new friends. Never lose your love for animals.(Spoiler: you don’t.) You will keep the friend you’ve known since you were seven. The one that made mud pies with you. She also threw up on you and your stuffed panda on the bus in third grade, but we won’t talk about that. It remains a sore subject, and she still laughs about it.

You’ll reminisce about high school, but you won’t ever want to go back. And when you get to sophomore year college, daddy dies. It happens before you can fix your broken relationship. So you’re stuck with a lot of loose ends. You will work the rest of your life on that, and many times, not know what to do with them.

There will be a point in time where you will regret arguing and fighting with mom. Try not to do it too much. You can’t get that time back. Please, please listen.

Your life will not turn out as you planned. Nothing usually does. Your braces will come off and your teeth will look straight but then 15 years later, they will go back to where they were. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you that part. Sorry.

You’ll go to some tennis tournaments and have the time of your life. I’m not even gonna tell you what happens. I’m just gonna let you live it.

P.S. Do not get rid of the peach high top Converse. You know the ones where you wrote “I love Johnny Depp ❤️” on the sole? Don’t get rid of those. (She did.)

Just always remember to keep smiling and laughing even when things get really difficult. We got this.

16 year old Amy, you should have kept this velvet newsboy cap…
poetry · Writing

Noir

This poem is my submission for Kevin’s No Theme Thursday – 2/22/24 . Thanks for the art inspiration, Kevin.

Art by Kevin

Do you Remember

when you called me

Dame

And I called you

Sweetheart?

Those times are here

Where I find you now

It’s black-and-white

And shades of gray

Where you’ve always wanted to be

I can’t stay

I live in color

My dress is bright

Blue

Like you always were

I don’t belong

I just wanted to say

I remember

When you called me

Dame

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Let Me Call You Sweetheart
chick lit · fiction · Humor · The Traveler · Women’s literature · Writing

The Traveler – Prequel / II

I had flown out of New York at 8 p.m., when the sun was setting but the air was still quite humid; it was humid enough that my hair never fully dried, and therefore ended up as a flaxen curtain framing my face. I arrived in London (with same curtain pulled back in a hair clip) at 8 a.m., with sunny skies and exactly the same 75 degree temperature, minus the humidity. The winds were cool and succeeded in waking me enough to manage the drive to Bath without falling asleep at the wheel. I usually got a roaring case of jet lag each and every time I flew across more than one time zone, which caused me to stumble around for days as if I were drunk or had an undiagnosed case of narcolepsy. I did once fall asleep while in a very important meeting in Madrid, but luckily, my head jerked up as it hit my chest and no one noticed. Even luckier was the opportunity for a siesta an hour later.

But now I wouldn’t have that chance; in fact, I barely had time to pee before I left the airport. I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and headed for the car rental counter. I began to mentally prepare my speech for the morning meeting at the museum with Mr. Langdon, proprietor and big wig aristocrat.

“Julie. Hi, it’s Maisie. I’m here. Yeah. I’m getting a car and I should be there by ten, so all is on schedule. Be sure to tell Mr. Irwin.” I juggled the phone as I handed my insurance card and driver’s license to the clerk in front of me. I smiled sweetly at him, remembering what happened with the last clerk, Sunshine, and how I ended up in this predicament in the first place.

“Well, I’m on my way right now, thank goodness. My flight was late, I drooled on my ivory silk cami while sleeping on the plane, and I have to pee like a mo-fo. I don’t have my little intro speech prepared yet and now I have to drive for hours to get to Baaath. Other than that, I’m peachy keen. So, I’ll see you in two days? Three. Right, right. See you then. Bye.”

Chad the Clerk at Swift Car Rentals made fourteen photocopies each of my license and insurance card as I stood watching, stunned. “Shall you be taking finger prints, as well?” I winked and he turned red.

“It’s all according to the rules, ma’am, you understand.”

“Of course,” I mumbled. I really, really don’t like to be “ma’am-ed,” and especially not by someone three years younger than myself; he was definitely at “Sir” age himself. My only comfort was the English accent. It sounded more like “Mahm,” which was cool – a different word altogether and not nearly as loaded with the sound of old age.

I stopped by the loo (“when in Rome” as the saying goes…) and while in there I stood at the sinks and dabbed fervently at my spit-stained top. The water caused the top to become transparent directly in the middle of my chest, and I quickly threw on my wrinkled blazer to maintain some sense of dignity. I refreshed my make-up and fluffed my hair before I took one last look in the mirror. I mumbled under my breath my displeasure. “I could scare away scarecrows.”

Unfortunately for my silk camisole, the scone and the coffee I had brought along with me in the car also ended up down the front of me, creating a lovely menagerie of browns and tans with crumbs glued on for texture. If it weren’t the only top I had access to in that moment, I would have framed it as original art.

However, I had to work with what had, and what I had underneath this one of a kind creation was a second-degree burn. I rubbed some lip gloss on it (the burn, not the camisole), blew cold air down my chest and hoped for minimal scarring. Oh, if the Aristocrats could see me now.

I headed southwest, following the map given to me by helpful Chad at Swift Car Rentals. I reached down for the notes on the seat beside me very, very quickly, keeping one eye on the road, one eye on the car in front of me, and my right hand on the wheel as I tried not to swerve into oncoming traffic. I wished that I had written the bits about the Langdon family more legibly as I was to meet Mr. William Langdon, proprietor and from all preliminary accounts, some special kind of crusty Brit— in just under an hour. A guy like that required prep time, no doubt. I cursed myself for sleeping my entire flight away when I could have been studying.

Here’s what I gathered by skimming my scribble-scrabble:

The Langdon family can date their ancestry in Britain to the year 1210, where they settled in Bath, apparently desiring to experience the curing qualities of the sulfur waters that bubble from the earth there. The current installment of the Langdons laid claim to some kind of royalty way back when —an earldom or some such title —and William Langdon (aforementioned crusty Brit, who incidentally is never without his Ascot tie, or so I’d heard) was the Earl of Summertime-oops, I meant Somerset-presently speaking.

Following the extensive family tree made my already weary eyes cross in confusion; I couldn’t remember my granddad’s first name half of the time, and now I had to keep track of a bunch of Brits.

OK. So let’s continue: William Langdon and his wife Priscilla (a blue blood in her own right) were the proud parents of three baby crusty Brits. There was Nicholas, the oldest at thirty or so, and successor to this Earl gig when old Bill died; unfortunately I hadn’t written much at all about this Nick guy. It was a shame really, because he had “potential,” at least on paper. I flipped my pages over and back again but l only found a sentence for him: Heir apparent, apparently, so clear the air. “Why do I persist in writing cryptic, smart alecky notes for myself?” Two months prior that phrase must have meant something or at least sounded humorous.

Now it was annoying.

Nick had two younger sisters, Samantha and Penelope, aged twenty and fifteen, respectively, and according to my notes, they were beyond ecstatic over this museum opening. The entire family had an appreciation for the history found in garments and had quite a fine collection of their own to contribute. Mr. Langdon had the idea to open a private museum initially, twenty or so years beforehand, but my notes said the rest of the family was enthused about the project, and that was all I needed to know. It was important for me to have full cooperation of the family if they were all going to be hands-on; I would need each one of them to help set up the costumes for photo shoots and cataloguing, plus it was going to be a dreadfully long two weeks if we didn’t get along.

That said, I hoped to make a connection with all of them but thought of Nick in particular. He was to inherit it all, including the costume museum. I hoped he would have a vested interest in the vests and all of the other objects, as well. And excuse me, but he was close to my age, he was single, he was in line for an Earldom and he most likely would have an alluring accent—how could my interest not be piqued?

Forty minutes later I found myself entering Bath city limits and dying for a shower. No rest for the weary and all that, so I ventured onward to the Langdon Costume Museum of Bath—stinking of coffee and scones and stale airplane air and hoping the Earl in Waiting wouldn’t mind my unique brand of cologne.

I rounded the circular drive to park in the lot directly behind the medium-sized square building, admiring its light stone façade as I did. The building resembled many of the others in the city that must have been built around the same time, in the late 1700’s, l guessed. It was a bit dirty – from pollution, I gathered—but other than that it projected a quiet strength quite fitting for an Earl’s museum. There was a wrought iron gate just in front of the entrance that gave me a bit of trouble as I tried to open it. I jiggled it as best I could with one arm loaded down by my notebook and necessary equipment, and the other awkwardly grasping as if my hand were numb. My attempts weren’t good enough; it wouldn’t budge, not even with a forced grunt and a soft pleading followed by a louder threat to commit bodily harm against it.

“Dammit!” I growled one last time and, as if by magic, the stubborn lock allowed me through. I guess it only understood curse word requests.

“May I help you or shall I leave you to burglarize this establishment?” a crisp male voice came from the step about ten feet away, shocking me off the ground a few inches. “Ahh! Don’t do that. I’m still winding down from my fight with the gate.” I shot my iron nemesis a glare. “The last thing I need now is a heart attack. Oh, and you’re really funny, by the way.” I squinted up at Smart Ass Mystery British Man from the bottom step; I hadn’t brought my sunglasses, figuring the sun never shone in England.

Hmph.

Stay tuned for The Traveler – Prequel / III!

Catch The Traveler – Prequel I here !

The Traveler – is here .

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

image credit: Kevin at thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com

chick lit · fiction · Humor · The Traveler · Women’s literature · Writing

The Traveler – Prequel / I

I stared blankly at the large screen, its words flashing directly above my head. Even the ambience of normal airport noise couldn’t distract me from gawking, nor could common decency intervene to close my gaping hole of a mouth. I blinked four times to clear my vision, hoping to be jolted from this inconvenient day-mare. Nope, it didn’t work. The stupid thing still read “Flight 221 to Heathrow— Cancelled.”

“You have got to be kidding me!” I scream-whined out of frustration. “Grr….” There were several older, very obviously American tourist ladies congregating nearby, all donned in matching Campbell plaid vests, white shirts with lace cravats and some kind of touristy kilt-like skirt for women—again in Campbell plaid—looking at me as if I had been raised in a barnyard. Well, I did just growl out of frustration, I’ll give ’em that, but I was not decked out in a medium-weight wool. In July. In New York. I smiled apologetically (because they looked so cheerful and silly), and waved, ensuring them I was not about to attack. They turned slowly back to their maps and itineraries, though by their wary glances it seemed likely they were still not quite sure if I was harmless or not. Right about then I felt like I had been reared in a barn and not given any coping skills with which to manage this crisis, rather than the unremarkable, pleasant upbringing that l experienced in actuality. It must’ve been the heat and that promotion to Account Manager, effective immediately, that was getting to me. “Okay, let’s not freak out, Maisie. You can totally deal with this minor setback. This has happened to you before and it got sorted out rather easily. Piece of cake.” I tugged at my suit to straighten it, pivoted on my heel, and, with confidence, stomped straight to the ticket counter–then back again when I realized I had forgotten my trusty carry-on bag, which was packed with such impressive efficiency that I didn’t need a suitcase (not that l’m bragging very much). I was very proud of my ability to travel lightly, even with my camera equipment and occasional costumes I usually only required one additional checked bag. I smiled smugly to myself as I hoisted the strap over my shoulder and proceeded to the ticket counter for real this time.

The skill of packing efficiently didn’t arrive overnight, that’s for sure. I had acquired a lot of practice improving upon my technique as an assistant photographer and costume historian who traveled extensively, photographing period costumes for magazines, books, private collectors and any other organization that was willing to pay the big bucks to my employer, renowned worldwide. Talk about an awesome job–and now that I’d gotten the promotion I’d strived for three years to achieve, I felt even more enthusiastic about the future…and the past.

So now began the true test. With the promotion came complete responsibility for this plumb new assignment in England that we’d bid on and won. In addition to having another person to help on assignments–the flighty but surprisingly efficient Julie, who wouldn’t be catching up with me for three more days, the promotion meant I was placed in charge of the whole job, start to finish. So, sorry for being frazzled, but I didn’t want to blow it before even leaving the U.S.

I was traveling to Bath (or “Baaath” as the English call it), to a small costume museum that, in a few weeks, was having a grand opening for the public to come in and view the collection. I was hired, or rather my employer was hired, and I was sent, to catalogue each piece before being displayed and to verify the years and styles of certain pieces that seemed to stump everyone else. I questioned my boss about the authenticity of a historic costume museum just opening now, in the 21st century, but he assured me that most of the pieces were acquired through private collectors over decades, if not centuries. It seems that the owners of the museum, an esteemed, pedigreed family of the area, had finally acquired a large enough collection to open it to the public, which was their intention all along. In fact, I was anticipating the initial meeting of these seemingly benevolent folks at the museum very much. The problem was that it was scheduled for 10 a.m. local time and so…

Damn it if this flight was going to be cancelled on me now!

I had a crucial meeting to attend to, and I was nothing if not punctual.

I shook off my slight frown along with my thoughts and stared at the wisp of a girl in front of me as she barely cleared the top of the ticket counter. I wondered if she was old enough to be employed. She wore an expectant, annoyed expression, as if she had said something brilliant and was waiting for me to respond.

I almost had to look down on her; at five foot eight, I was nearly towering over the poor thing. “Hi, how are you? Yeah, my flight’s been cancelled and I need to get to England. ASAP.”

“Ticket, please,” she demanded in a surprisingly deep monotone. I handed it over dutifully. Do as you’re told and no one gets hurt, Maisie. “Flight 440 leaves in an hour for Gatwick. That’s all I have.” She looked so bored. I began to think they weren’t paying her enough to even be civil, or that perhaps she hadn’t yet been taught manners in kindergarten.

“Okay then, Sunshine, give it to me.” Two hours later I was on my way to jolly, old England. Notice I said two hours later; it seems Sunshine was a bit off on her time estimates, after all. As I nuzzled peacefully down in my seat, I sighed once and thought of the exciting journey ahead before I settled down into one of my favorite pastimes—sleeping. I passed the seven hours delightfully dozing.

Stay tuned for The Traveler – Prequel / II!

Go to where it all started: The Traveler

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

image credit

Kevin at: thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com

chick lit · fiction · Humor · Short story · Women’s literature · Writing

The Traveler

Art by Kevin

Once again, I am participating in Kevin’s No Theme Thursday 2/15/24 edition.

I wrote this story a long time ago and have not developed it further. It was another book idea just like last week’s story. I’ve tweaked it so that it can appear along with this picture that instantly reminded me of my story. Thanks for giving my story a home, Kevin!

Edit: all of the installments of the story have been published. Before you read The Traveler, read Prequels I-IV. Then read The Traveler, then the Sequel. I will put the links below. It will make more sense if you do it that way, as these were Chapters 1-6 of a book I haven’t finished.

Read The Traveler Prequel I first, here

Next, The Traveler Prequel II, here

Then The Traveler Prequel III here

Next, The Traveler Prequel IV here

Now read The Traveler, the story you in right now. It starts below.

After reading the story below, you are ready to read The Traveler sequel here

And that is where the story ends – for now. Thanks everyone for reading and supporting my almost-book. 🫶

As I stepped off the curb, I wondered why I had agreed to repair the gowns, and then, why I didn’t just travel the four blocks to my hotel. While I was trying to avoid tripping over my feet, I looked to the left for vehicles coming toward me. Problem is, I was in England.

Stepping out into traffic and looking the wrong way, well, I didn’t see the black blur that was suddenly next to me—on me — is a more apt description.

I lay in the road with people milling around me for several minutes before I came to. A sharp, rich, English-accented, male voice bellowed, “Doctor! We need a doctor at once!” My eyes shot open in alarm when I realized he was most likely calling the doctor for me. I saw blurry figures peering down at me, with one leaning over, precariously close to toppling. Confused, I closed my eyes again and wondered with a goofy smile if every man in Heaven spoke with a British accent. Heaven would be just fine in my book, if so. Suddenly sleepy, my eyes stayed lazily shut as I gave into the drowsy, light feeling.

“Madam! No! Do not shut your eyes! You must keep them open or you might never open them again!” A crisp, rich voice ordered stiffly. Who is this guy? His piercing voice is disrupting my nighty-night time, I thought as I tried snuggling into my blankets. I reached for them, but when I did, I felt no blankets, no cozy warmth. No covers? Why don’t I have any sheets on my bed?! I cracked one eye open to survey.

“Eeks! I’m lying in the middle of the freaking road!” I screeched as I bolted and sat upright, immediately regretting that sudden move, as the searing pain in my right arm caused the nausea to rise in my stomach in a flash and I froze to avoid vomiting.

“Madam, do not move!” It was The Voice again.

“Oww, my arm really hurts,” I croaked out after the nausea had passed. I squinted my blurry eyes in the direction of the guy with the cool voice, but I didn’t see anyone there.

“Clear the way, the physician is coming through,” Mr. Voice ordered the onlookers. His authority seemed to do the trick. As I surveyed my bum arm, I heard the bustle of the crowd as they parted. Wow, this guy must have pull in some major quantities.

“Oww,” I hissed at the pain and decided to leave my arm alone. My head hurt, too, but with my left hand I couldn’t find any gashes on my face or head —that was a good thing. Maybe I have a concussion. “I so don’t need a concussion while in England. My insurance will not cover this,” I mumbled to myself. Feeling less nauseous, I tried to crawl-unnoticed-to the my bag that I had with me when I was hit. My sight was still a bit fuzzy, but Mr. Voice could see me, apparently.

“And where are you going?” he asked with mild interest. I stopped mid-crawl and smiled up at the blurry face sheepishly.

“Over here to check on my bag?” I offered helpfully.

“No, you most certainly are not. The doctor is here to examine you for bodily harm following your accident,” he answered simply. He placed his hand on my shoulder gently but firmly, to let me know I was not moving another inch.

“Okay, whatever.” I shrugged and glanced up at the face with the somehow familiar voice. He was so close now that I could make out his features with ease.

“It’s you!” And it was him-Nicholas Langdon, Royal Pain in the Ass, from the museum. Same chocolate brown eyes, same dark brown hair, same hot bod, same voice… It all made sense now.

“Nick Langdon.” I narrowed my left eye and gave him the once over. Okay, the thrice over.

He blinked three times. “Pardon me, madam?” He asked quietly with large, disbelieving chocolate candy coin eyes. “I am quite certain we have never met before.” He studied me for a few seconds. “How do you know my name?” he asked with thinly veiled interest. He had the nerve to sound ruffled!

“Ha! That’s a good one, Nick. Not twenty minutes ago you gave me orders not to destroy the gowns!” I rolled my eyes and studied him closely, my vision finally focusing enough to scan my immediate surroundings, which, at present consisted of one handsome but irritating Langdon and one older man with a sadistic streak who carried a black physician’s bag.

“Ouch! That hurts…doctor.” I said suspiciously as I narrowed my eyes at the dude carrying the bag.

“Sorry, dear. Please do stop moving,” he pleaded with an exasperated sigh.

“Right. Say, Nick…what’s with the get-ups you two are wearing?” I nodded first to him and then in the direction of the doctor. He didn’t answer me immediately, rather, he looked at me blankly for several seconds. I looked him over closely. Somehow he and the doc had gotten their hands on some darn good Victorian costumes. If he swiped those from the museum and he’s yelling at me for repairing two gowns, l’ll deck him. I fumed to myself. Still, it was a gorgeous outfit. I tried not to gawk.

All topped off with a top hat, naturally. Nice, very nice, indeed.

The jerk looked dashing. The doctor was similarly outfitted but not nearly as scrumptious.

“Excuse me, Madam, but I don’t know of what you are speaking. Perhaps you are out of sorts now you have been struck by the carriage-“

“Carriage? Carriage?”

“Yes. Carriage.”

“Is that what you people call them?” I snorted.

We looked at each other as if neither one of us spoke the other’s language.

“Yes, ma’am, it is,” he said slowly so I could follow. “As I was saying, perhaps you are out of sorts since your…er…accident.”

“Don’t get condescending with me, Langdon,” I pointed at him and frowned at the doctor who forced me to look up and down, side to side, following his gloved finger.

“What is your name, madam?” The doctor asked warmly.

“Maisie Reynolds.”

“Miss Reynolds, can you tell me today’s date, with the year included, if you please?” The doctor winked conspiratorially at Langdon, as if he were on the precipice of curing me. Knowing the date was not going to help fix my arm. And even if I had a concussion, I wasn’t suffering from amnesia. I wished someone would call an ambulance for goodness sake.

“It’s August 12th, ’05.” I answered drolly. Duh.

“Ah, ha! There is the problem, my dear!” The doctor exclaimed.

“It’s August 12th, yes, but the year isn’t ’05, it’s 1904.”

Langdon said smugly, apparently overjoyed that he could break this news to me.

I did a double-take right there on the ground. And then I laughed and laughed. I wiped my eyes as the tears streamed down.

“Nick you really got me with this, I’ll hand it to you. 1904.

Carriages. Top hats and Morning suits. What a hoot! And look, you even got Doc here to participate in your theatrics. And that woman over there…look at her gown! Isn’t it fabulous—” My voice trailed off.

I glanced around me as quickly as I could with a pounding headache and noticed then that the entire street was authentically 1904-ish.

There were old cars, cobbled streets, finely dressed ladies and gentlemen mingling with the poorest, grimiest-looking of the poor. There were cozy storefronts, an open market, and a very real stench of coal.

“Amazing, just amazing. Nick, this is one hell of a recreation.

Is this all for the grand opening?” I looked up at him with wide eyes, completely convinced he was a genius – a sexist pig genius.

Nick shared a look of concern with the doctor who was rummaging through his black bag for something to wrap my elbow with.

“Er-” Nick waffled.

“What?” I felt a sense of foreboding all of the sudden, like I had entered the Twilight Zone.

Nick crouched down and took my left hand gently. His eyes were mesmerizing and so kind. Okay, I thought, now I know I have a concussion.

“Mrs. Reynolds-“

I shook my head. “No. Not ‘Mrs., “Miss. Doc was right the first time when he addressed me as ‘Miss. Mrs. Reynolds is my mother.”

Nick gasped slightly. “And you travel alone, without a chaperone?”

I scrunched my face up in confusion. “Huh? Why would ! need a chaperone? I’m thirty, for God’s sake!”

“I see…” A look of amusement passed over his face, but just as quickly, Nick put his business face back on. “Miss Reynolds, I am Nicholas Langdon—”

“YEAH, I knoooow… What is going on Langdon?” I frowned at his latest Captain Obvious act; he could do so much better.

“Ahh, I do not know how you know my name, as it is quite apparent by your manner of speech and dress that you are not from London nor from England, and you must have only arrived here very recently judging from this unusual bag which you carry.” He pointed to my bag as it lay in the muddy puddles of the cobblestone street. How’d they get the streets from tar to cobblestone that quicky?

“Great. So we’ve gone from Captain Obvious to Sherlock Holmes,” I said dryly. “And you’re the one with memory loss if you don’t remember me at all, Nick.”

He jerked his hand away. “I am called Cole by my friends.”

He buffed an already pristine-looking button on his coat. “As I was saying, you have suffered a head injury of some kind-” They nodded in agreement, over eagerly, I might add. “—As a result of the carriage impacting you as you attempted to navigate the street here.” He gestured with his big hat head toward the street I was currently residing on. The doctor finished his examination and declared me “confused.” I rolled my eyes as I sat there contemplating the obvious decline in the state of health care.

He knelt down to my level again, bringing those eyes back in full view. Be still my racing heart! “You need rest. You will feel better tomorrow, the doctor has assured me. He could find nothing wrong with you—”

“Yeah, I guess he couldn’t out here in the middle of the street instead of in a hospital with diagnostic tests and modern equipment…”

Nick sighed. “Where are you staying? Please allow me to escort you there,” he said with genuine chivalry. Hmm… I think I like this 1904 Nick much better. Can we keep him after the grand opening has ended?

But it was all an illusion-some kind of cruel game. It slowly, fully registered that Nick Langdon was beyond mean and nasty. He was leading me to believe I was going crazy. An elaborate hoax was underway to trip me into insanity, and all because he didn’t trust in my abilities. His sisters told me the whole story of how furious he was when his father chose to go with my employer rather than a British company. So this was his attempt at forcing me off of the assignment; he assumed he could convince his father to accept the bid from the other company once he had proven me unstable, and my employer incompetent. Well, I had news for Langdon-I wasn’t going anywhere but back to my hotel room to rest up for tomorrow’s work.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t need your assistance, Cole. I can find my way back to my hotel unaided, thank you. I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow, and I fully expect to be at work.”

“Work?” His luxurious eyes were as wide as half-dollars.

“Oh, come on now. Enough with the act-you know exactly what I’m talking about!” I stood slowly, picked up my bags with my good arm and took a deep breath. I looked Nick/Cole over one last time to fully appreciate his fine masculinity dressed up in an early 20th century day suit once more; that is, before this hoax was revealed. Such a shame it would all be over when the ruse was lifted. I sighed and turned to go, but I didn’t get far.

Cole grabbed my arm gently and turned me to face him.

“You know, madam, it is not safe to… work…the streets…do you need money? I can help you to find a respectable home to lodge in, I’m sure…” he whispered. His eyes and lips so close to my face mesmerized me for a time, so that I didn’t register what he said-at first.

“What?! You think I’m a prostitute?” This had to be the worst insult he had slung at me yet. And I made quite a scene about it, too. For all his attempts at discretion, I was yelling at the top of my lungs. “That’s right, when I’m not working ninety hours a week as a Costume Historian and Photographer, I’m a street walker! Is that what you truly believe about me?” People were stopping and staring by this point and Cole shared conspiratorial looks with Doc before gently nudging me toward what I assumed was his car. I plopped down hard on the seat and he gracefully sat across from me. “I’m sorry, Miss Reynolds, I misunderstood your words a moment ago. Forgive me. Please allow me to escort you to your dwellings.”

He looked so damned sincere and I was tired of arguing with him. Plus, my arm and head hurt. “OK, fine. It’s only four blocks from here.” He told the driver where to go and we were off. I was certain the scenery would change back to modern day once we reached my hotel and that cool Cole would morph back into nasty Nick. We jiggled and bumbled along in the car, with an awkward silence between us. I felt my expression of awe turn into a frown as we reached the end of the third block and there was no change in scenery. To be honest, I was more than a little concerned for my mental state.

“Umm, Cole? This…this is my hotel here,” I lied. I took a quick, desperate survey of the street and saw a quaint establishment with vacancies. The rising panic in my gut made me want to bolt out of the car and run as far as I could, to anywhere that would lead me back to 2005.

Cole peered up at the two-story building just ahead on the right and called for his man to stop the carriage. “Are you certain this is the correct place?” He sounded concerned, but it looked fine to me. Besides, I had to remind myself, this is all an illusion, anyway.

“Miss Reynolds, this establishment doesn’t seem proper somehow. Why don’t you let me arrange a lodging for you-” Cole grimaced up at the shutters, that, upon closer inspection, were in obvious need of repair. The one on the left looked as if it would fall at any second and crush both of us flat like pancakes. The front door was a tattered, peeling shade of faded cobalt blue and the ground floor window was so grimy I couldn’t see through it. “Uhhh-” I hesitated. Even in make-believe land I did NOT want to lodge there.

Cole nodded and seemed to understand my reticence immediately. He called to his driver at once and we drove off. “I cannot allow you to stay here. We will call on someone whom I think will have plenty of space for you to stay until you decide otherwise.” Chivalrous Cole was a welcome relief and soothed me a bit, although the fact that the scenery did not change from 1905 to 2005 at all in the course of driving to his friend’s house was worrisome. About ten minutes into the uncomfortably silent journey, and after much thoughtful deliberation with myself, I decided that I would go with the flow and accept it all as a reality.

If I did have a concussion, there wasn’t anything I could do about it, anyway. Maybe I’d have to wait until the swelling in my brain went down and I suddenly snapped out of it. Or maybe it was all a dream and I’d wake up at any minute. Regardless, I couldn’t think about it anymore. I was in 1904 and I would savor the experience as if it were real, until it was not real.

And, if I were truly dancing gaily around in the fields of madness, then, hey, being crazy was looking as promising as the huge stone mansion we were approaching after twenty-five minutes of bumping along in the car, both of us ignoring the amazing zing in the air when our knees bumped as we rolled to a halt.

To be continued…?

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com

chick lit · Love · Women’s literature · Writing

La Isla Bonita

The following “spicy” story is my response to Kevin’s No Theme Thursday 2/8/24 challenge . Thanks for the amazing, inspirational art, Kevin!

Art by Kevin

Ibiza, Spain.

I walked out to the sea’s edge, dressed in my borrowed costume, the frilly hem wet from the small waves crashing along the shore. The light was perfect. I could hear the party revelers behind me, enjoying the return of their famous son, if only for a few weeks. I knew he was back there, waiting, probably watching me as I danced, and my heart filled with joy and contentment. I closed my eyes and continued to twirl, enveloped by the scent of the sensual, beckoning night-blooming flowers, the sounds of faint music and twinkling laughter, the whispers of lovers floating on a zephyr, and the assurance of an equally sublime day to follow this. They were all palpably present, and they were magical.

The next evening…

We dance in the Square, under the twinkling strands of coiled lights that run from the store fronts across the way to our old world, charming hotel behind us, crisscrossing back again, forming a cozy, shimmering roof over our heads. The tiny white lights cast a warm glow onto the bright white sidewalk beneath our feet, the latter of which have no agenda other than to move with each other, and to the live music being performed in the distance. Older people stroll by, glance and smile at us, knowing him, of course, and wondering about me, the curvy, auburn-haired vixen with an American accent. He’s not a very good slow dancer, nor am I, and our height difference is appallingly noticeable, but when we dance, we laugh, and when we laugh, well…we love. And so it is: I love to dance with him.

We sway with the music as I feel him take my hand and turn my palm face up, anticipation showing itself as shivers up my spine. His head down, hair falling into his face, his smoldering eyes holding mine as he lands his sensual mouth in the center of my palm. His lips linger there for several seconds, so I feel the full effect of his kiss; I draw in a quick breath of surprise. Every nerve ending I have a screaming out to him, “Me! Me! Me! Kiss me next!” He must hear them, for his lips then travel to my wrist, where he opens his mouth slightly, and I feel the tiniest tip of his tongue dart onto my pulse point. “Oh, my,” I mutter as I breathe in another rush of air. He smiles against my flesh, I can feel his teeth on my arm as he does. He nips the skin on the inside of my arm so gently, it feels like a child’s tentative touch. By the time he reaches the inside of my elbow, I have had three shivers cascade up and down my back and have weak legs that threaten to give way. “Max…” I breathe as I stare, dumbfounded, at the top of his shiny mink-colored head, darker still in the night. His hair smells like that wonderfully fragrant shampoo I bought yesterday, and it makes me want to bury my face in it. “Shh…” he orders me and continues on his determined way. “You are trying to make me turn into a puddle of piddle, aren’t you?” He smiles again, this time against my neck, before attempting to produce what feels as if it would be the biggest love mark in the world (we’re talking Guinness Book of World Records). “Don’t make semi-permanent marks on me, Maximillian,” I warn him sternly. Then I whimper.

My voice fails me, but my thoughts rail against my skull rapidly. “You’re funny,” I manage to giggle, before he cups his broad hands around my face, and landed a decisive, almost possessive kiss on my mouth. It is rare that he kisses me this way; usually it’s not unless he hasn’t seen me in a while, or if he’s about to leave me for a while. My mind reels. I don’t know where he learned any of this, but I definitely approve. I think.

I notice now that he’s got full, dark lips in the muted light, swollen from kissing me so hard, shining with the remnants of my lip gloss. His eyes are expectant, and maybe a bit satisfied with himself, no doubt because he can see the look at my eyes.

“You like?”

I nod slightly, but nothing more

“Do you want me to do it again?”

I nod again, weakly.

He reaches for my other arm, but I stop him.

“No. You can do whatever it is you’ve just done, and yes, please, but not here. Surely you must realize the effect your mouth has on me. “

He smugly grins. “Maybe I do.”

I lean up on my tippy toes and run my hand through his hair to move it away from his ear. “Let’s go into the hotel now, Max. I really want to go now, don’t you?” I whisper in the nape of his neck. He nods and laughs once, suddenly going quiet.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothing,” he replies.

We make the short journey to the hotel then climb the stairs rather than take the elevator up to our floor. I feel a warm hand sweep under my dress to my calf. I continue to climb the stairs quickly, almost tripping.

“Wait.”

“What?” I turn, alarmed by the severe tone of his voice. When I look at him, his eyes are blue, and piercing into mine. “Oh, Maximillian, please don’t look at me like that – not here.”

“Go to the roof,” he says and moves closer, staring into me with those eyes.

“Go to the roof,” he repeats, this time with more authority.

“But I thought we were going inside.”

“First, let’s go to the roof,” he says gently, and I glance at his full lips and messy hair, and I walk myself right on up to the roof. I’m such a sucker.

“So now what?” I ask gently as I cross my arms over my chest to shield myself from the chilliness. It’s windy on the roof and I don’t want to be here. I throw a glance to the twinkling lights below, and to the stars above, and despite a 1000 watt desire to be snuggled in 600 thread count sheets with a 200 pound man, the view really is quite lovely. Alongside me is my own modern pirate, dark and brooding, and for the love of God (who/what/where), if He’s in attendance, is directly across the street shaking his head at us. And why can’t Max control the amount of testosterone he’s sending out?

Max moves closer and reaches out to touch my face; his hand is shaking, which I find peculiar. Just beyond him, I see the cathedral, illuminated by a spotlight aimed at the blue lead glass.

“Max, no.”

“Why?” He mumbles into my neck as I shut my eyes tightly to block out the church, as much as to savor his mouth on my skin.

“God is watching.” I feel silly as soon as I say it, and I expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t say anything for several seconds, he just keeps tracing the side of my face with his finger.

“God watches us always, whatever we do,” he tells me, like I need schooling.

“Yes, I realize that, but – maybe He doesn’t want to see us out here, on the roof, getting our freak on,” I attempt to explain.

“Why not?” he asks, now tracing my lips with his finger.

“Do you love me?” he asks bluntly.

“Yes. Like I love summertime and sleeping and books and dark chocolate.”

He snickers. “And I love you like I love ice cream, PlayStation, and tennis.” I have to smile at his childlike simplicity; to be ranked among those items must mean good things for my standing.

He leans against the stone wall and takes a deep breath. “Do you want to know what I think?” He asks me casually.

“Yes, I do.” I’m still studying him closely, wondering what he will say next. I never know.

“Well, I think love is God and God is love. That building is only one symbol for God; there are many others,” he says softly as he nods in the direction of the church. “The sea is God, the sky – when I am with you like this, or when you are in my arms, I feel God in these moments also, because my heart is full of love for you. Is that wrong or bad?” He asks it, but he is sure of his beliefs, so it is really only for my sake.

I understand now. My limbs feel weak, I need to lie down and my heart wants to dart out of my chest, but I get it. “You brought me here, to make love on the roof, to show the universe what our love is like; to share what we have, because you’re sure love cannot be wrong, even though there are obstacles we must overcome, yes?”

“Yes, in a way, that is part of it.” I guess I still don’t have it precisely right, and it seems like he wants to keep his reasons to himself. That’s all right; I think I understand enough. He reaches for me; I nestle into him, feeling like a child learning a lesson I should’ve already known.

“And also to share with my family who have died and my ancestors who came to this island long ago.”

“Pirates?” I ask as I rest my cheek against his chest, feeling the smooth, heated cotton scented with love. (Love is also the blazing heat of a man and his scent, and the effect of it on a woman who is under his spell.)

“Maybe” he teases. “And maybe your ancestral people are here too, or they come to visit you sometimes.” I feel his hand brush my hair and hear his voice vibrating in his chest as he talks; it transports me back to times long ago, leaning on my father’s chest, listening to his voice rumble, feeling the gradual pull of sleep tug at my tiny eyelids. It happens even now as I’m associating that memory with the present.

“Max, do you want them all to see? I mean, some things are private.”

“But it is love between us, and all the people who have come before have done what we do. It is nothing new. Besides, they see us anyway, if we are on this roof, in bed, or sitting at dinner with everyone else.”

“I kind of hope they shut their eyes at certain times.” He laughs quietly and squeezes me tighter.

“Maybe they do, but God does not.” He turns my face to his. “Are you ready to go to bed now, or do you want to talk more?” He searches my eyes and I want to get lost in his. Well, his everything.

“Yes, I want to go now.” As he takes my hand and leads me to the stairwell, I steal a glance at the blue lead window, some 50 feet away. At that moment, the spotlights flicker out and jolt back on almost immediately.

“Max. God just winked at me.” He gave me one of my own looks of exasperation executed very well, and we giggled all the way to the bed.

This was a scene that came to me as an inkling of a sequel to my first novel, Love Match, tweaked a bit for this challenge. The second book has not yet come to fruition, but I hope you enjoyed this snippet.

©️2024 itsamyisaid.com, All Rights Reserved

chick lit · fiction · Humor · tennis · Women’s literature · Writing

Book In Hand

My perfect day, from start to finish, was the day I received the first batch of my book in the mail. A close second was doing book signings. The process of writing a novel took much longer than one day, of course, and it wasn’t perfect, but the feeling of handling a solid book that contained words I strung together, was unlike any other feeling previously or since. I could think of other ways to spend a perfect day, but none as profound as this for me, as a lover of words.

I started writing this book in 2003, and the idea formed over a fairly short span of time. I have been a tennis fan since the age of 15, and I am not going to tell you how many years ago that was, but it was approximately 102 years prior to 2003.

When I write, I see images. I see the scene playing out between the characters, where they are, what they’re wearing, their facial expressions, if the air is still or breezy, hot or chilly, and I see it start to finish just as a film or on a real in my brain.

The novel started with a small seed of an idea that turned into an image in my brain. The scene was the end of the book. I hand wrote most of this book in a black, hardbound canvas covered book that was probably meant to be a journal. I have journaled my whole life and I have written my whole life as well, although not for public consumption.

So the image that I saw in my head of the scene, playing out of the end of the novel, I wrote at a feverous pitch, on the first page of my black bound book. I then had to form character names, settings, and all the good stuff that goes along with novel writing. Which I had never done before. I bought books, I researched how to outline, but basically I winged it. I wrote the novel in about three months. The scenes played in my mind, and I was able to extricate the best out of the story that I could. I edited and re-edited the novel. I pitched my manuscript to agents and publishing houses for a full year of my life. I had some interest but never any yeses. Frustrated and emotional as I was, I refused to accept defeat. I decided to self publish. Back in 2005, when I finally got past trying to find a publisher and an agent, self publishing wasn’t as acceptable as it is these days. Nor was it as accessible. It was, however, much more affordable. I chose to use lulu.com, which probably was due to the fact that that was one of the only self publishing houses available at the time. Uploading the novel was a fairly simple process. I chose the cover, the font type, the color of the font, and the cover is from stock image. Formatting the pages was a bit difficult and the first print proof of the book was too many pages, too large of a font, not the right cover, not the right title or font – not the right anything.

So, I went back to the drawing board and finessed it into what it is now. I paid extra for the international ability to sell on Amazon, and once I received the first shipment of books myself, I couldn’t believe that I had done this. I had a book with an ISBN and it was registered at the Library of Congress and it was available for sale on websites. I held this bound grouping of words in my hands, and it came out of my brain. It was surreal.

Because I did not have an agent I had to hustle my own promotions. I held book signings at local bookstores, I made sure all local bookstores had copies of my book from the warehouse, I promoted it as much as I could through word-of-mouth and through online sales. Shortly after I wrote the book and launched it, I switched careers that involved a lot of training, and the creative part of my brain went dormant. I am still in the career that I switched to all these years later, but I have recently found joy in writing again. I owe it to a muse I found in the most peculiar place. I lost my muse long ago, so to find another one in a weird place, and completely unexpectedly was a shock and a joy. So thank you muse, and I will see you at the park in 2033. Until then, I’m pondering ideas for a second book, but I have no solid kernels on which to build yet. For now I continue with daily prompts, poetry and short stories, about some of my favorite things, which include Paris, cats, dogs, pigeons on the lamb, and Sometimes relationships.

For those of you who have considered writing a novel, or working on a novel, or have finished a novel, what are your experiences with the process? For example, I started at the end and worked my way back to the beginning. I worked pen and paper. I edited my own book with the pages looking like a murder scene had taken place. There was so much red pen. I didn’t tell anyone I was writing a book until I was done the book. I felt like it would be breaking a spell I was under. For me when I write I get in a zone. Does anyone else experience that? What are your experiences as you are writing whether you are working on a novel or another piece? Please comment below!

*I originally posted links to my book on a separate page on WordPress, but it has disappeared. I don’t think WordPress likes tennis.*

My baby

Love Match is available here:

https://www.lulu.com/shop/amy-j-bates/love-match/paperback/product-261924.html?page=1&pageSize=4

And here:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1411664752/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1707127147&sr=8-1

The song I thought of today is Unwritten, by Natasha Bedingfield.

I am unwritten
Can’t read my mind
I’m undefined
I’m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand
Ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, oh, oh

I break tradition
Sometimes my tries are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned to not make mistakes
But I can’t live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten

Oh, yeah, yeah

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Danielle A. Brisebois / Natasha Anne Bedingfield / Wayne Steven Jr Rodrigues

Unwritten lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC