What’s the most annoying trope in books or movies?
I can’t stand this word. It’s overused, much like iconic, and they are both used frivolously and, in my opinion, not as intended. Seeing a word used repeatedly dulls its shine. Trope usage should not be common place, and iconic is only iconic if we stop using iconic so much. Internet culture strikes again.
As for answering the prompt, I can’t get past the word to answer it. The word itself has become a trope.
Ugh.
What’s the best thing you’ve ever found randomly on the street?
I used to find cash all the time. $20 bills, $10 bills, you name it. I would find it outside on walks, inside stores, you name it. I have had this “talent” my whole life. I’m not just saying that because I’m trying to manifest it, although I am and I double down on that as I’m writing this (looking at you, universe), but it’s true. I have always been able to find cash on the ground and in unique situations. There have been two times in my life where I’ve had the most exciting kind of money find: cash blowing around outside. This is the kind of stuff you have dreams of, but wake up and realize it didn’t happen. Only for me, it did happen.
The first incident occurred when I was 15 and my friend and I were walking into the mall. There was a woman and her granddaughter walking ahead of us and the granddaughter didn’t realize the cash she had with her was falling out of her purse or her pockets. My friend and I kept trying to tell them that she was losing her cash. We were yelling to them and picking up this cash as it was falling and blowing everywhere. But they misunderstood and thought we were hooligans, so they ran faster away. They disappeared out of sight completely by the time we got into the mall, and there was no way to track them once inside a packed mall. My friend and I looked at each other, shrugged and split the cash evenly. We had $15 each. So we each bought something in the mall. I remember exactly what I bought that day and I still have it. I will have to ask her if she remembers that day and if she remembers what she got with that money. It was unfortunate for them (fortunate for us – get it?!) , but we did our due diligence. I only wish they would’ve trusted us. We were teenagers, we weren’t monsters, but I can understand the comparison sometimes…
The second time was when my mom and I were driving to one of her friend’s houses and down the street from her house was a small pub/bar. We were driving up early on a Sunday morning. It was a windy March day as I recall. As we drove up to the corner where the bar was, I noticed a lot of green paper flying around. The other thing I should mention is that I have very poor eyesight without glasses, but I can see money. I can tell you if it’s a leaf or cash with this terrible vision of mine. At that time, I had much better vision, and immediately I knew I was seeing money blowing around. My mom knew too, and she stopped the car. I hopped out and started chasing the money around. It was like one of those TV shows where you’re locked up in a container with money and it blows around you and you have to grab it, except that I wasn’t locked up. Since it was an early Sunday morning after a busy Saturday evening at the pub, and no one else had been there, it was easy pickings for me. I’m not sure how much cash we ended up with, but it was substantial. I can tell you I got every available bill that was blowing in the wind.
Sadly, I haven’t found much cash on the ground lately and that’s because most people use plastic to pay for things these days. Or they use their phones. It has really taken a big chunk out of my talent as an attractor of cash, and I’m very disappointed. I hope to return to it eventually.
How do you deal with uncertainty?
What’s a conspiracy theory you actually find believable?
This is not actually a conspiracy theory, this is real. I know, I know, people always say conspiracy theories are real, but I’m so for real right now. I was attempting to put a charm on a necklace yesterday, but I had to take apart the necklace. The hoop at the end was too big to fit through the charm thus deconstruction had to happen. So I’m sitting there with a magnifying glass and these tiny gold loops, I can’t see a thing, I’m trying to juggle holding the open loop with the needle nose pliers in my non-dominant hand while holding the necklace chain in my non-dominant hand when suddenly the whole thing falls apart, and I lose the open loop. Naturally, I get up and take the flashlight to look for it. I had dropped it three previous times and I found it with no problem, but on this occasion, the thing was gone. It wasn’t in my lap, it didn’t drop when I got up and it wasn’t in the couch. I looked for 20 minutes. The couch ate it. I found an old Cheerio while I was searching, but that’s too big to put on the necklace. (And obviously it’s not an edible item because the couch didn’t eat it. Caveat Emptor re: Cheerios, I guess?) The charm definitely won’t fit if I put a cheerio on the end. I tore the couch apart. I even got the vacuum out and vacuumed the entire area: nothing. I looked at the vacuum cleaner contents with the magnifying glass. Nothing.
You can say what you want, you can tell me that’s not possible, but I know my couch ate my necklace loop. I don’t know why, but I know it did.
If you had a time machine and could send just one message to your past self, what would it say?
“Relax! We have a Time Machine, which means the stupid stuff you’re doing right now is fixable. But I’m not sure that we should fix them, even though we have a Time Machine. I think we should just let it play out. Messing with outcomes just doesn’t seem right to me. Carry on, doofus!”
What’s a thing you wish schools actually taught?
But unfortunately, common sense cannot be taught. People who do not have it struggle with things you think should be basic knowledge. If you have been blessed with common sense, give thanks, because not only cannot it not be taught, it can’t be bought.
What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?
This is one of my pet peeves. I have many, but this is pretty high on the list. In the past, before the days of self checkout, stores used to bag your groceries. Some still do, and if you go to the regular checkout, they will put your stuff in a bag. But what they do is combine everything in one bag without the proper sorting and it makes my right eye twitch. 
Believe it or not, people who bag groceries used to be trained on how to bag groceries. I know, I know, it’s a shocker. There is actually a way to do this without putting bread in the same bag as potatoes and mothballs. Or eggs in the same bag as anything else. They also should know that all of the refrigerated items should be together in the same bag(s), and the non-refrigerated items should be placed in their own bags, further separated by cleaning products and porosity of the packaging.
To me, this is a basic skill. I don’t understand why people don’t know this. We don’t put food items in the same bag as ant traps. We don’t put cold food items in the same bag as non-refrigerated items, because the end goal here is to keep everything cold on the way home from the store, thus reducing melting and spoilage.
I often have to change the bagging entirely when I get to the car if someone else bags. It is a rare occasion I find someone who knows how to bag groceries. And yes, I still get someone else to bag my groceries because my job title is not grocery bagger and I am paying for my items. So they will bag them. That’s part of the transaction. And I use the paper bags they give me at the store because I’m paying for those bags in the cost of the items on the shelf. Thank you very much. 
On the off occasion that someone actually knows how to bag groceries, I thank them and tell them I appreciate their knowledge. And then I tell them no one else knows how to do it, because it’s true.
If you had to be an animal for a week, which one would you be and why?
Why? Because they live really well. They’re almost impossible to evict and they’re very cute. Also, they have a great defense mechanism. Just last week I saw the red fox running from my yard to the neighbor’s yard at a full clip. Why? A skunk was chasing him.
Also last week, someone set off fireworks all night long on a random Tuesday, and when they started up the next night at about 8:30 PM, I went outside in my bathrobe and pajamas to see if I could find where they were coming from. I walked to the middle of the street thinking to myself that it probably wasn’t a great idea, because the skunks come out around that time, but they only ever appear in the backyard. As I stood in the middle of the road hearing fireworks, but not seeing any, I noticed two skunks on my front porch. I was stuck in the middle of the street with my phone as a flashlight for a half an hour on a Tuesday night.
Last night I learned there was a baby skunk. Apparently the baby lives under my shed, which means there is at least also a mother under my shed. I believe the mother is Salt. The father is Pepa (although they could go the other way, I’m not sure which skunk is the male and which skunk is the female), and the baby is Spinderella. If you don’t understand this reference, they are named after the female rap group Salt ‘N Pepa, and their female DJ Spinderella.
The baby came out last night. It’s 6:30 PM, learning how to hunt for bugs. I had to chase it back to the backyard because it’s far too early for a baby skunk to be out, even though it’s normal for babies. No, it doesn’t have rabies. It does have a luxurious home, though. The babies won’t be grown until September and I won’t kick them out until then, if at all possible. But their presence means that the birds and the squirrels no longer get food.
Join me soon for another episode of Wild Kingdom!
Which outdated technology do you miss the most, and why?
Don’t get me wrong, technology is useful and important. However. I don’t think it needs to be at everyone’s fingertips twenty four hours a day. It’s too much. I’m glad I grew up in a time where we didn’t have cell phones. We played outside and we used our imaginations. I’m not saying we didn’t have video games or computers because we did, but this age of everything at your fingertips is technology overload. Constant social media interaction can be destructive. And, perhaps most importantly, technology is amazing when it’s working correctly, but when it’s not? See below.
Are you a lifelong learner?
Learning never stops. You don’t have to be enrolled in a formal education program to continue to learn your whole life. And if you’re not learning anything as the years go on, then you’re not paying attention and you’re not growing. Reading, taking classes, doing things that keep your mind active are all important to keep learning, but also living daily life teaches you lessons that you can’t find in a book or a class. Often, those are the lessons that are most impactful.
Learning keeps your brain and your body sharp. Well, maybe not sharp, but less dull. What have you learned lately?
“It's Amy,” I said. 