Butterflies don’t have norireceptors

They can’t feel pain

At least that’s what they say

They also don’t recognize human voices

Well, that’s what they say

I’ve only seen three this year

The most royal of all of the butterflies

I’m a finder of lost things and valuables that belong to others

And animals that are lost or hurt

I found her struggling on the sidewalk

I halted my walk in more ways than one

Scooped her up in my hands, and she desperately tried to fly

She had no visible injuries

Not to my eyes

I took her to my neighbor’s where I thought she might find some blooms

I offered her water from my tiny bottle cap

She did lap it up and for a moment, and I thought that was that

But she still could not fly

Even though she desperately tried

So I brought her home in a shoebox with some flowers

But that’s not the part I really want to talk about

I want to tell you how she recognized my voice and how her antennae responded when I talked to her kindly

I want to tell you she was perfect with not a spot on her to explain why she was dying

I pet her little body and talked to her sweetly

I told her she was beautiful, and although she couldn’t get to her destination

She would stay here with me

I hoped for a miracle overnight, but I knew better

At first light, I checked her shoe box and she was nearly dead, so weak she was, ants were crawling on her

I brought her in the house and showed her all the plants

I told her I loved her and would take care of her

I put her in a plastic bag and placed it in the freezer

(This is how to humanely euthanize butterflies when they are already dying)

I took her out twenty four hours later and laid her on the table. She looked the same, but her body wasn’t contorted anymore. Her antenna relaxed to a normal position rather than contracted in a sort of grimace

They say butterflies don’t feel pain. I don’t believe them.

I want to know why a beautiful, gentle creature meant to migrate thousands of miles only flew a few feet before starting to die

And other malevolent beings are granted the gift of a lengthy, destructive life

I want to know why