architecture · art · conservation · finding the muse · history · Old homes · Photography · prose · Writing

The Doctor’s Mansion

Recently, Facebook reminded me of a post I made in 2014. I copied that post and saved the accompanying photo I captured out of the window of my car, and planned on publishing what I wrote and the photograph as a sort of stroll down memory lane. But I realized I didn’t have much of a memory lane to scroll down, so that led me to the Internet. With what I remembered of the house, I did a search and found a Facebook account (credit to Facebook account Abandoned Steve, and photos will be credited to their owners) and a YouTube channel featuring abandoned mansions and properties in Pennsylvania (again, all credit to Abandoned Steve). I found the house which I had always called “My House,” because as a small child, barely able to see above the door and out of the window, and down the long driveway to the terra-cotta roof tiles, I always wanted to live there. And by live there, I mean I wanted to purchase the house when I was a grown-up. My mom told me stories of “The Doctor’s Mansion,” and I had all but forgotten most of the details, which weren’t very many to begin with. I found out today it was called Bella Vista by the surgeon who owned it and helped build it. Yes, a surgeon at a local hospital was also the general contractor on the project. Can you imagine how that went? More on him later. He was quite something, in a good way.

I am still going to post my original Facebook memory about this house, but I am going to post the beginnings of the house before I post the end. I sadly still don’t have too much information, but I am still doing research and if I come up empty-handed, I’ll employ my writer’s mind to add details. Do stay tuned for this post, but please be patient as I still have to do research on the house, and my new job training continues to be my number one priority. And also my number one vehicle to exhaustion.

When that Facebook memory popped up, a small spark that had temporarily been snuffed out by new work obligations, training and an exhausted mind and body, to be quite frank, was lit again. My muse this time is a small child’s long-ago memory that I can bring back to life. I am old enough, my creative mind now developed enough to put the awe I felt into words. I can now hear the parties held at the mansion: live music, clinking glasses and uproarious laughter amid extended family and friends on sixteen acres of a beautiful view.

daily prompt · fate · finding the muse · Love · poetry · Writing

By A Poet

Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

Although I do have many favorite quotes from Zora Neale Hurston, I’m going to try to follow the rules for this prompt. I know, you’re probably thinking, “Why start now?” It’s because I have a favorite quote that I really don’t think of that often but for this prompt, I thought of it.

Years ago, I bought this book:

Filled with requited and unrequited varieties

I don’t recall why I purchased the book, but if I had to venture a guess, it would be because the book is pink, has a heart on it (your girl is obsessed with hearts and collects them – not anatomical hearts, dear reader), and it also has a pink bookmark built right in.

The book contains different chapters, which delve into the many different types of love – requited, unrequited, grief, love for pets, etc. I’m not much of a romantic, but I am sentimental. So I tend towards more eccentric quotes about not just love, but everything.

I nudged this book off my shelf for this prompt and opened it up to the page with the pink bookmark. I never take this bookmark out of this page because this is my favorite quote in the whole book, and that’s not an easy feat to accomplish.

Without further adieu, Let me introduce you to my favorite quote:

When I read this the first time, I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret it. Then I realized there were many ways to interpret it. In fact, I have a new interpretation as I write this.

What is a superstition? (We all know, because we all remember the daily prompt from not that long ago.) Examples of superstitions include walking under a ladder is considered bad luck, opening an umbrella in the house is bad luck, breaking a mirror will give you seven years of bad luck, black cats are bad luck, knocking on wood so whatever you’ve just said comes true or stays safe (depends on the situation), and many more. Superstitions are misunderstood, mysterious, used as protection. In my mind, I always think about superstitions as hovering in the air in a cloud. Superstitions are not part of reality, but they are still given deference and respect. They are very real to the person who believes.

Having said that, I believe Monsieur Baudelaire is speaking here of unrequited love, a love that to him is so precious, he keeps it in the clouds just out of reach. The image of his love stays in his mind, and in his heart is where the cherishing blooms, but his love is so much more than that. He seems to be under a spell. To say you are more than an image I dream about and cherish, you are my superstition, means to me, that you are the very thing that I believe in, the idea of which makes no sense, but I love you more than I could ever love anyone else. And yet, there is a mystery about you. Are you bad for me? If my love were requited, would it be a mistake? Would it ruin everything? Superstition has to stay in the clouds, just out of reach, and so does the love. Dream of it, cherish it, hold it in the highest regard. Be also aware of its mystery and respect the unknowingness of it.

Monsieur Baudelaire was a controversial poet in Paris in the 19th century. He was part of the Decadent era. Knowing a bit about poets myself, I’ve been thinking: is the superstition the muse? Oui.

✨💫✨

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finding the muse · prose · Writing

Finding the Muse

There are many ways to acquire a muse, and just as many ways to lose one. I’ve gone long stretches of time without a muse, and it does impact my desire to write.

Muses don’t have to be external to one’s self, they can be a self driven motivation from deep within I suppose, but in my case, the muse is external to me. Whether it be a person, place or thing, my muse is not a part of my consciousness, or subconscious, for that matter.

I’ve been reading about famous writers and artists and how they’ve found their muses. In many of the cases, their muses are a person they know, and more often than not, a person they have a relationship with. But I’m going to go out on a limb here: a muse is only inspiring to me when the person, place, or thing is not part of my everyday life, or anyone that I have had a relationship with. Diving deeper, I realized I employ limerence to allow my muses entry into my thoughts.

Limerence is a hot topic on self-help social media due to it being regarded as a negative aspect of what the brain can do to deal with past trauma – and I am not claiming that it isn’t; as a sufferer of childhood trauma myself, I understand coping mechanisms and I am not here to belittle or in any way discount trauma, and how people cope with it. However, I know the difference between using limerence to gain creative inspiration versus limerence to replicate feelings of love. Limerence is not love, and love is not ever going to be limerence, and there’s no two ways about it.

But utilizing limerence to find and keep a muse? You’d be surprised how many creative ideas start to form. In fact, I believe if you get too close to your muse, you’ll actually lose the creative force that limerence offers. It is an idealized way of seeing someone and romanticizing that person (if your muse is a person, that is) in your life. The less I interact with the person, the better for my creative process.

I like to keep my muses as long as possible, because there are stretches of time where the Land of the Muses is a parched desert with tumbleweeds blowing all around and nothing but mirages for miles. Some interaction with the muse is helpful, otherwise, what can one use as inspiration? But too much of a good thing is not always a good thing. The more you get to know a muse personified, the more the gold shiny coat wears off and underneath it really is only nickel and it starts itching your ears and your neck and you’re allergic to it and you’ve got to throw it away.

I just recently realized that I use limerence to obtain my muses and it surprised my brain, which is confounding, because Brain is in charge of that stuff. Brain should be better organized, but Brain also uses sticky notes for everything, so…I get it. That said, even my tree, William, is a muse. He’s quiet, we don’t talk a lot, and he inspires me.

What works for you? How do you obtain a muse? Is your muse internal or external? How do you keep a muse and how do you lose a muse? Have you ever thought about limerence as it relates to letting a muse twirl around and be lazy and fabulous in your brain? Are your muses people, places, or things? How and when do they strike? It’s all so very a-musing, don’t you think?

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