Humor · Uncategorized · Writing

Anyone Name Their Cars?

I’m finally taking my car to the body shop to get her bumper replaced Tuesday. She’ll be in there for at least two weeks. I was wondering what kind of tank they’re going to give me at the car rental place, and I was thinking about my car’s name. She was given this name on the day. I drove her off the lot. It didn’t come to me immediately, I had to study her and drive her to know that she is a refined vehicle that sits high and proud and has a smooth ride that purrs. Her name is Victoria and her nickname is Koko. Yes, she has a nickname. I only use her full name when she is driving sluggishly and I need her to get the lead out (ha!).

Some of you might think I’m strange, but yes, I routinely name my cars. My car before this one was a black Mazda2, and her name was Buttercup. She was a spitfire. She liked to race sport cars, and win. She liked to take turns real tight, almost obnoxiously so. She was afraid of no one. She wasn’t named after the weed known as buttercup, she was named after the toughest Power Puff Girl. I still miss that car.

My naming of cars goes back to my mother who started the habit. She named her first car Happy. She had many cars over the years, and I can remember a few of their names.

The raspberry red Dodge something-or-other was named Bob, i.e. Bucket of Bolts. Bob didn’t have a long life with Mom. He was a lemon, despite his beautiful raspberry color. Her Toyota Echo was named Sassy, and her final car, a Toyota Corolla, was named Darwin.

Does anyone else name their cars? If you do, let me know their names in the comments!

Uncategorized

My New Router Was DOA

I got it a month ago. It has been nothing but problems. I cannot access WordPress or Jetpack with any kind of normalcy, I often cannot like posts, cannot send comments or even see statistics. It drops phone calls, and just generally doesn’t work. I am getting a new router tomorrow, but until then please bear with me. Thanks guys.🤞

cats · daily prompt · Humor · Photography · Uncategorized

A Cat

Daily writing prompt
Which animal would you compare yourself to and why?

If you’ve been with me for a while, you knew this answer was coming. Why would I compare myself to a cat? Why not?

Here’s what cats and I have in common: When we like you, you will know it. When we don’t like you, you will know it. We don’t give our affections to just anyone, we choose the people who won’t look at us. Duh. We will welcome you after you’ve been away for a long time, but we will not run up to greet you and lick your face. That is uncouth. Instead, we will wait the perfunctory 3 to 5 business days to say hello to you, because you left, and that was not approved.

(I love dogs, have had several, and you guys know that I love my friend Petey. The insinuation of dogs being uncouth is a joke.)

Here are some photos of me training to be a cat:

Introductions are made.
The initial phase begins.
Phase 2 has been reached.
Just two cats chilling in the grass.
My transformation into a cat is fully realized. Susie is not impressed.

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Love · poetry · Uncategorized · Writing

The Wooden Cross

I found you in the cabinet

Outside of my office

You were in there with prayer cards

and Craftsman tools

I wonder how many patients you met

I wonder how you got there

I’m sure you belonged to a nun

But I don’t know who

I took you home

I’m not much of a cross person

But your simplicity is soothing

I also took the Craftsman screwdriver

It was a really nice one

There you go again

Making me confess

I’m not sure why, other than the name of the song, but when I was composing this poem, and looking at this photo of my wooden cross, I thought of the song Take Me To Church by Hozier. The title is a metaphor, which you can probably glean from the lyrics. This is a great song. The official video is worth a watch, but I’m not posting it here, as it tells a story within itself. I posted below a video that displays the lyrics.

Take Me to Church

Song by Hozier

My lover’s got humor
She’s the giggle at a funeral
Knows everybody’s disapproval
I should’ve worshiped her sooner
If the Heavens ever did speak
She’s the last true mouthpiece
Every Sunday’s getting more bleak
A fresh poison each week
“We were born sick”, you heard them say it
My church offers no absolutes
She tells me, “Worship in the bedroom”
The only Heaven I’ll be sent to
Is when I’m alone with you
I was born sick, but I love it
Command me to be well
A-, Amen, Amen, Amen

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

If I’m a pagan of the good times
My lover’s the sunlight
To keep the Goddess on my side
She demands a sacrifice
Drain the whole sea
Get something shiny
Something meaty for the main course
That’s a fine looking high horse
What you got in the stable?
We’ve a lot of starving faithful
That looks tasty
That looks plenty
This is hungry work

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife
Offer me my deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

No masters or kings when the ritual begins
There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin
In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene
Only then I am human
Only then I am clean
Oh, oh, Amen, Amen, Amen

Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life
Take me to church
I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies
I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife
Offer me that deathless death
Good God, let me give you my life

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Andrew Hozier Byrne

Take Me to Church lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Humor · inclusivity · Uncategorized · Writing

On being left-handed

Any fellow southpaws out there?

I’ve been thinking about making this post for a while. I’m not going to get super scientific. Just a few facts.

The world is made for right handed people. Left-handed scissors? Crap. I’ve had to teach myself how to use right handed scissors, and now I can’t even use left-handed scissors. Every door knob, handle, appliance is geared for a right handed person. Think about hand crank can openers and feel my pain.

Left-handed people are relatively rare in society. About 10% of the population is left-handed. Even more rare are female lefties. Believe me, when I see a fellow female lefty, I get excited. It doesn’t happen often.

Both of my parents were born left-handed, and both were switched at a young age at school due to the belief at the time that being left-handed was the sign of the devil. In the middle ages, being left-handed was thought to be witchcraft. Luckily, my parents didn’t subscribe to either one of these beliefs and allowed me to be my left-handed self. One of my brothers is left-handed. I’m searching my brain for anyone else in my family who is left-handed and I’m coming up with nobody.

For certain sports, there is an advantage to playing left-handed. In tennis there is a clear advantage. Rafael Nadal is a right- handed person. But he plays tennis left-handed. I’m not very familiar with baseball, but I think there is also an advantage of batting left-handed.

There seems to be genetic differences between being right-handed and being left-handed. Left-handers may have superior verbal skills, but scientists still don’t know. All I know is do not ask me to do math.

You can always see a lefty coming. Ask them to show you their pinky and side of their left hand – the part that touches the paper.

Let me know in the comments if you are also left-handed! 👈

Facts.