Lost job
No more
Heart heavy
Betrayed
Wait.
What’s that?
Relief?
Here?
Now?
Loss
And
Relief
Coexist
In a peaceful manner
New beginnings
Await
Lost job
No more
Heart heavy
Betrayed
Wait.
What’s that?
Relief?
Here?
Now?
Loss
And
Relief
Coexist
In a peaceful manner
New beginnings
Await
The first one is, “Why aren’t you married?” My standard answer is, “I’ve never met anyone who could convince me that it’s a good idea.” That shuts them up really quickly.
The second question I hate is, “Why don’t you have children?” Again, I reply with, “I’ve never met anyone who could convince me that it’s a good idea.” Again, silence.
It’s my standard answer. It’s flippant and sarcastic and intentional. Come at me with questions that are none of your business, and I’m going to come at you with something you have no response to.
We know nothing of lost opportunities, missed chances, wrong time, wrong place, right person, wrong time, wrong person, right time. we know nothing of desire – or lack of desire – for marriage or children. And there’s a reason why we don’t know anything: because these are personal issues.
Last week, one of the cashiers in the grocery store told me I looked really fashionable. She said she always loves to see what outfit I’m wearing. This particular trip I had on my plaid black and white fedora, with my houndstooth belted coat and matching houndstooth gloves. Finished off with tall black boots. She asked, “You’re not married are you?” Immediately, my defenses went up, but I asked with a smile, “Why do you say that?” And she said, “Because you look so put together and cute. You’re a cutie pie and you take time with your outfits and always look adorable.” I thanked her and put my defenses down. (I’m not sure what that had to do with being married or unmarried, but it was said, from a place of kindness.)
I like those kinds of people. Not because she complimented me, but because she didn’t ask me a personal question to be nosy or critical. She had no ulterior motive.
We don’t know what people go through, what battles they are waging on the inside. We should always strive to be kind and never assume anything.
And never assume a void means lack of hopes, dreams or wishes.

US Open, 2005. I was on a mission to deliver a US Open Bear to Rafa Nadal. Just a small token of appreciation for hours of tennis entertainment. Though I had followed Rafa’s career up to this point, I had never met him. Read on for my observations and probably some hijinks, because…me.
Tuesday, August 29:
Hmm…today feels different. It’s a curly hair day. I’m gonna wear my pink cowgirl hat today with my multicolored belt, Hello Kitty hot pink flip flops and my new hot pink tank top. I load up my Hello Kitty tote bag: sunblock, water, food, bear.
We board the bus and head off. Feli* is first on Court 16 or something, and luckily traffic out of the city is better this morning. We arrive and the line to get on the grounds is short. The girl inspecting my bag is nice – “Oh, cute bear!” she coos, as if she hasn’t seen them all over the grounds before.
“Yeah,” I say, “I hope today is the day I send him on his way.” She laughs and I laugh. As soon as I say that, I know today is the day.
We check the practice courts: nobody good. Wait. That sounds really bad. What I mean is nobody that we are interested in watching. We wait for Feli outside of the side entrance. He will come through these doors with his opponent and a couple of security guards. My friend L. is chain-smoking. I’m lounging on a bench, relaxing. She is pacing. I am looking around at all the people who are here at 10:30. A little after 11, I announce I am going “over here” to another spot on the grounds, and I hear, “OhmyGodAmythereheis!” I turn, and yeah, it’s Feli. He’s cute, sure, but I’m still calm. L. is in a full run, following Feli to court. We get there and sit down in the first row, behind the player chairs. He glances at my fabulous hat a few times, and L. is smiling like a loon, clicking photo after photo, and the match hasn’t begun yet.
Did I mention she washed her shirt that reads, “Where’s Feli?” last night so today is also “Where’s Feli?” day? Yes. So the match has begun and she, L., is planted there like a tree. (Fyi, she eventually had that shirt signed by the man himself.)
At 12 o’clock, I feel the need to get up and check the practice courts again. I wander over through the maze of tall bushes and finally come out to the screened off practice courts by Ashe**. There are a lot of people there, so I take a peek all the way down. No, no, no…Wait. Who is that on the last court. Ah, ha.
It was Rafa, wearing tan shorts and a backwards white hat. I walk the blacktop sidewalk down to the very end. There are bushes and privacy screening up so the public can’t watch. At the end, though, there is a gate with some gaps, and that allows a view to where Rafa is practicing.

There are ten people there, and nowhere for me to stand and watch. I see that there is a kid in the bushes, leaning against the fence. I don’t think twice. “Hi,” I say to the kid as I enter the bush space next to him and kneel in the very dry dirt, taking off my hat and putting it over my bag that now lies on the ground. I know the pink of the hat is very visible from court. Feña***is two feet from us at times, and so is Almagro****. Rafa is on the far side, but I can still see through the grommet holes, and Rafa is instantly recognizable.
“You like Nadal?” he asks me sincerely.
“Yeah,” I say pleasantly.
“See, I have this poster of him.”
“That’s a good poster,” I say. A few seconds pass and Feña is in front of us picking up balls. The kid speaks Spanish to him, but Feña ignores the talking bushes.
“You speak Spanish?” the kid asks me.
“A little,” I whisper.
“You know Nicolás Lapentti?” he asks me in his cute accent.
“Yes,” I reply, trying to watch Rafa and listen to this kid at the same time.
“I am the best friend of his brother,” he says proudly. I smile and nod. What can I say? I don’t really want to talk too much, especially with Feña and Almagro right there. And my knees are hurting from kneeling and my jeans are getting dirty and damn, it is hot. Toni*****is there, I see, but sitting in a chair. There is some guy patrolling the court perimeter, but he hasn’t spotted us yet, or maybe he doesn’t care that we are in the bushes. Suddenly, from nowhere, the kid whistles a catcall, making it seem as if I, the girl in the bushes, whistled at them!
“Hey! They think I did that!” I chide. He laughs, thinking that is pretty funny. Soon after, an errant ball directly off of Rafa’s racquet rolls and stops in front of me. I dangle my finger through the bottom of the fence and give it a little nudge so that it goes a foot or so. Kid next to me thinks that is worth a chuckle. I laugh too, wondering if anyone else caught it. Shortly after, kid leaves the bushes in a mad dash. I stay for a while until my knees hurt so badly I must get up. By now, Rafa is tidying up the court. Practice is over. I press the side of my face against the open portion and watch Rafa tidy. He is sweating profusely and he looks as he always does in photos.
Agassi******comes in and they shake hands. I don my sunglasses, my cowgirl hat, and calmly walk the tree-lined path to the front where I know he will soon sign autographs.
I check on the bear. He’s on top, easy access and today is the day – I just know it.
I reach the front and see swarms of kids with big tennis balls waiting for Rafa to sign. I’m calm, the swarms are not. “Back it up, people!” I hear a woman say as I continue to press forward to where he will come out. It’s not that I don’t hear her, it’s that I am ignoring her. There are a few kids in front of me, but no adults anywhere. I am the tallest one, and I’m wearing a pink cowgirl hat. He walks over to where I am and is maybe three feet from me — it would have been closer if not for the kids in between. I study his face, taking in as much detail as I can in such a short amount of time. It’s not every day that a person can get this close to a professional athlete, so taking mental notes is important for memory reflection later. He’s dripping wet with sweat (NYC in the summer – oof!), he is not as darkly tanned as he looks on TV or in photos, his nose is a bit wider than on TV and in photos, and his lips are large (not that there is anything wrong with that – I’m taking mental notes). His face is large, too, but he is not overly tall. He seems much taller on television. I would study his hands but I can’t see them. He looks down immediately and signs one, then two items, because he is, of course, well-rehearsed in the task of signing his name. It is when I say “Rafa” over the noise of the kids that he looks up and then at me, mildly surprised. I reach in to get the bear and I lift it above the kids’ heads. I hear a man’s voice behind me repeating, “I’ll take it. Give it to me. I’ll take it for him.” I ignore the man’s voice behind me because I want to. I will be delivering this bear. Rafa looks at me. “For you,” I say quietly as I hand the bear to him. And his eyes have already begun smiling. “Thank you,” he says sweetly and takes the bear from me gently. I nod and give him a small smile, but my attention is entirely on his eyes. His mouth is not smiling, his eyes are, and they are so kind. I hope my eyes smiled back, and didn’t do any weird twitching, blinking, winking thing.
And then the moment was over. Bear was delivered. He looked down to sign more and I turned, held my head high and walked back to Feli’s match where L. was still was seated. I had a content smile on my face the whole walk over. Mission: Accomplished.
I found out later, quite by accident, that only kids 12 and under are allowed to stand where I was standing. Sometimes lady luck is on your side, but it doesn’t hurt to be a bit of a rebel.
*Feliciano López, Spanish tennis player
**Arthur Ashe Stadium, USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center
***Fernando González, Chilean male tennis player
****Nicolás Almagro, Spanish male tennis player
*****Uncle Toni – Rafa’s uncle and coach (at the time – I mean, he is still his uncle, he’s just not his coach anymore)
******IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHO ANDRE AGASSI IS, I CAN’T HELP YOU
©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved
Check out my interview with Rafa here
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
I helped my neighbor out yesterday by clearing out trash and debris in her front yard. and by disposing of a dirty, vacant cardboard box that once housed a neighborhood cat, possibly a stray, but I doubt it.
My neighbor was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis early last year. I took care of taking out and returning her trash cans each week and getting her mail every day until she recovered enough to be able to do these things. She had a benchmark birthday in August and was looking forward to this upcoming year. I am claircognizant, and so when she said this, there was a twinge inside of me and I kept quiet. She was finally got her strength back from being hospitalized for the RA. I surely wasn’t going to ruin that.
In November I started noticing a lot of cars at her house. One day around Christmas I saw her relative outside. I asked the woman if my neighbor was OK. She told me my neighbor had been diagnosed with leukemia and was in the hospital, and that she would likely be there for quite a while. In January, I asked again how my neighbor was, and was told that she caught Covid while in the hospital. There was someone staying at her house, and it became a bit untidy. Trust me when I tell you that “untidy” is an understatement..
I found out a month ago that my neighbor was cured of leukemia and survived Covid. She went to a nursing rehabilitation facility to gain strength. She returned home earlier this week. She is very weak and has to build strength to be able to get back to walking. She told me that Covid almost killed her. I have no reason to doubt it. I consider it a miracle that she is alive. And I am so thankful that she is.
I woke this morning with a bad headache, probably a migraine type, with my usual dizziness. But I am awake, I am alive. My neighbor is alive. I will once again take up my duty as trashcan coordinator and mail distributor. And I will do it gladly, for as long as it takes. I’m sure my neighbor will recover and be able to take her dog for walks again. Maybe as spring turns to summer, and the days are a little warmer, I’ll see her out there being walked by her dog. Yes, I’m sure of it.

This is my response to Kevin‘s No Theme Thursday Challenge, 2/29/24 Edition
Thanks for the art inspiration once again, Kevin.
💫
I’ve been up and down these streets, The fine leather of my boots ruined.
For what? For whom?
Who is this brash American with her strange clothing and even stranger claims that she knows me?
I left her with Mrs. Grant right after we dined. It was no more than half past six. She was going on about frogs in her shoes, but I saw neither frogs nor shoes. What That Woman calls shoes, I have never seen in my life. She’s strange, almost barbaric. The aggravating American accent, the bombastic strength of mind and loose of lip! And her frustrating beguiling face. Pleasant and full of freedom. With a little fear. She frustrates me so!
Enough of that. The storm began at 6:45, as I had just left the drive of Mrs. Grant’s establishment. There was a loud clap of thunder. And then I heard Mrs. Grant screaming, “She is gone, Nicky, she is gone!”
Alarmed, I ran back to the establishment and met Mrs. Grant as she was running toward me. The raindrops began and quickly became torrential. We made our way inside, where Mrs. Grant could hardly get out her words. “She is gone Nicky, she simply…disappeared!” It pained me to see Mrs. Grant in such a state. I rested a hand on her shoulder and asked her to explain. But I already knew who she meant. She said Miss Reynolds went up to lie down, and that was the last she had seen of her.
Lightning struck. Maybe once, maybe twice. Mrs. Grant heard a scream from Miss Reynolds’ room. She ran up as quickly as she could, only to find the room vacated. Miss Reynolds was nowhere to be found. Milton checked the entire property, as did I, several times. I assured Mrs. Grant that I would find Miss Reynolds, that perhaps she had gone down to the place where she had fallen in the road. Perhaps she thought she left something behind there. And as the doctor assessed, Miss Reynolds had suffered a concussion, and may be confused. Perhaps she was not thinking coherently, and would try to go back to that place in the middle of the night. In a severe thunderstorm. This American unnerves me so! Alas, I must find her.
I walked the streets again and again. Searching. She is not here. My whole self is drenched and the storm continues. My stomach in knots. My countenance forlorn. As I continue walking, I start to wonder, Was she just a wish? The storm lights up the night, and there is a figure up ahead. Is it her? Is it my gypsy?
💫
This piece is a blend of three things: Nicholas from my Traveler series; Gypsy, the song by Fleetwood Mac; and a smidge of American Woman, the Lenny Kravitz version. (Yes, I know American Woman is an anti-war song, but I like to use it in this context sometimes. Ok, all of the time.)
Gypsy
Song by Fleetwood Mac
So I’m back to the velvet underground
Back to the floor that I love
To a room with some lace and paper flowers
Back to the gypsy that I was
To the gypsy that I wasAnd it all comes down to you
Well, you know that it does and
Lightning strikes maybe once, maybe twice
Oh and it lights up the night
And you see your gypsy
You see your gypsyTo the gypsy
That remains
Her face says freedom
With a little fear
I have no fear
Have only love
And if I was a child
And the child was enough
Enough for me to love
Enough to loveShe is dancing away from you now
She was just a wish
She was just a wish
And her memory is all that is left for you now
You see your gypsy, oh
You see your gypsyOoh ooh, ohh, ohh-oh
Lightning strikes
Maybe once, maybe twice
And it all comes down to you
Ooh oh, and it all comes down to you
Lightning strikes
Maybe once, maybe twice
And (oh) it all comes down to you
I still see your (your) bright eyes, bright eyes
(And it all comes down to you)Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Stevie Nicks
Gypsy lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd.
💫
American Woman
American woman
Stay away from me
American woman
Mama, let me beDon’t come hangin’ ’round my door
I don’t wanna see your face no more
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time growin’ old with youNow woman, stay away
American woman, listen what I sayAmerican woman
Get away from me
American woman
Mama, let me beDon’t come knockin’ ’round my door
I don’t wanna see your shadow no more
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else’s eyesNow woman, get away
American woman, listen what I sayAmerican woman
I said, get away
American woman
Listen what I sayDon’t come hangin’ ’round my door
Don’t want to see your face no more
I don’t need your war machines
I don’t need your ghetto scenes
Colored lights can hypnotize
Sparkle someone else’s eyesNow woman, get away
American woman, listen what I sayAmerican woman
Stay away from me
American woman
Mama, let me beI gotta go, I gotta get away
Babe, I gotta go, I wanna fly away
I’m gonna leave you, woman
I’m gonna leave you, woman
I’m gonna leave you, woman
I’m gonna leave you, womanBye-bye, bye-bye
Bye-bye, bye-bye
(American woman) You’re no good for me and I’m no good for you
(American woman) I look you right straight in the eye
I tell you what I’m gonna do
(American woman) I’m gonna leave you woman, you know I gotta go
(American woman) I’m gonna leave you woman, I gotta go
(American woman) I gotta go
I gotta go, American woman
YeahSource: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Burton Cummings / Garry Peterson / Randall Bachman / M.j. Kale
American Woman lyrics © Shillelagh Music, Shillelagh America Music.
💫
Read The Traveler either for the first time, or to refresh your memory before reading this. Reading the sequel won’t make much sense unless you start there and return here.
✨
Mrs. Grant!” Cole exclaimed, leaping from the carriage just as a rotund blonde woman of about 40 years of age bounded from the huge, wooden double doors of the white stone house. She toddled to the carriage, holding onto her straw bonnet all the way.
“Nicky!” the blonde woman squealed, her voice far more high-pitched than her rotund figure would have indicated. They met on the gravel driveway in a very affectionate embrace. I was disgusted and surprised by my jealousy-tinged gut reaction at the sight. I clucked at my reaction and rolled my eyes.
“Ah, ha!” I yelled loudly from my perch in the carriage. “You said your friends call you Cole!” I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my left eye. “Why did your blonde friend here call you Nicky? Stop this charade right now, Langdon! It’s not funny anymore.”
“Oof, Nicky, you’ve got yourself a wild one there!” Mrs. Grant said with a snort of laughter.
He sighed and whispered something I couldn’t decipher, no matter how far I leaned in their direction. He threw me a look of exasperation. “Yes, and since Mrs. Grant is my aunt, she can call me whatever she wishes. She prefers the name Nicky, sorry to say.” Mrs. Grant swatted at Nick’s shoulder and he ducked out of the way, giggling.
“Oh,” I said quietly to myself, settling back into my seat. His time-travel charade remained intact and my confusion was growing. But that wave of jealousy was gone.
“Miss Reynolds, you may exit the carriage,” Nick waved to me.
“It’s Maisie, and don’t order me around, Langdon,” I snipped.
I hopped down, landing softly in the gravel, my 21st century attire not only looking very out of place, but very soiled from the day’s events. Mrs. Grant tried her best not to stare at my disheveled hair and clothes, nor at my bag. I saw her mouth “Langdon?” to Nick, as if she were questioning my mental state. You’re not the only one who thinks l’m crazy, lady. All three of us here, and the doc back in town, are of that mindset.
We walked through the huge wooden doors into an impressively large yet cozy foyer, under foot was a white marble floor and on the walls, a relaxing robin’s egg blue paint. I hadn’t seen plaster walls for years, and wondered for the third time in about as many minutes if the ability to see detail this richly meant that I was able to dream vividly, or if I was indeed supplanted into 1904. Shaking off the thought as quickly as it came, I looked around. There was not an air of grandiosity of the room, which was a bit odd for such a high ceiling and majestic outward appearance.
The place was comfortable, spacious and had a pleasant, cheerful, almost playful vibe. A spindly, tall man of about fifty came up to me nodded once and bowed ever so slightly, reaching for my carryon and garment bag. I handed them over cautiously, not sure where they would end up, but making a mental note to be sure to have them when I left. Langdon was not going to accuse me of losing his museum’s property! My eye landed on a statue perched on the mahogany side table next to me: a winking elephant. I snorted slightly at the sight, Nick turning his head discreetly in my direction at the sound. I rolled my eyes and looked away, turning my attention to the painted portraits hanging on the far wall leading into a narrower hallway. “Who are all of these children?” I asked as my eyes scanned portrait after portrait. Nick and Mrs. Grant were whispering about me (again), and my voice cutting across the room and echoing off of the floor seemed to startle them. “Are these children yours, Mrs. Grant?” I asked, waving my hand vaguely in the direction of the wall of portraits, bewildered. l turned to stare at her with wide eyes, taking stock of her appearance, wondering how she’d birthed over twenty-five children. She was large and quite sturdy-looking, but not old enough to have produced so many kids.
“Heavens no, my dear!” she exclaimed and hurried over to me. “At least not in the usual sense,” she added, confusing me further. Langdon did his best to try and hide a smirk, but I saw it.
He cleared his throat and sauntered over to us. “Mrs. Grant runs an orphanage here, Miss—”
“Maisie,” I reminded him drolly. “What’s with your short-term memory problem? I’m the one who hit her head, not you.”
“Maisie. Right. Mrs. Grant takes in children whose parents are not able to raise them, due to this reason or that.” He seemed uncomfortable, shifting his weight from one pristine black boot to the other, his sentence cut short when it should have contained more information – more revealing, juicy information. His hair fell into his right eye as he glanced to the floor, inspecting his pristine boots for invisible scuffs or scrapes, perhaps.
“Like, if their mothers are unwed young ladies or if their parents have died, or something equally as scandalous?” I bluntly asked, letting my curious eyes slide from the portraits to his downcast, immeasurably attractive face. I thought I’d test the waters; see if he was really going to conform to proper manners of the day. It was 1904, was it not?
Langdon’s mouth twitched ever so slightly, threatening to smile. He held it in well, though, and before he could speak, Mrs. Grant piped up, “I see you speak your mind, Miss Maisie! Good, good…good indeed! Yes!” she exclaimed excitedly, something secretive in her expression. “The orphans who come to me are special cases…”
“Special cases?” I implored, interested.
“Special cases,” Langdon piped up. “The orphans Mrs. Grant accepts into her home are juvenile delinquents who have been deemed incorrigible by their guardians and, in most cases, the rest of society.” He smiled warmly into my eyes, inviting me in, if I was willing. I wasn’t.
“Oh…” I frowned slightly. “That’s very admirable of you, Mrs. Grant,” I declared, squinting my eyes as I pondered what Langdon was getting at. “So Langdon, you brought me to stay here, in an orphanage filled with juvenile delinquents who have been cast out.”
He shrugged his shoulders casually. “I thought you could teach them a thing or two about behavior.” His dark eyes twinkled with mischief.
“You’re saying I could teach them about good behavior?” I said brightly, playing along.
“Now, I didn’t say that, did I? Milton!” Langdon suddenly bellowed for the servant, causing me to jerk my head back and open my eyes widely.
“Yes, sir?” Milton dutifully appeared from the shadows.
“Good man! Mrs. Grant has told me of the new Egyptian pieces she has acquired for the children’s history lesson. Would you show me to them, please? You know how I fancy history.”
The two men left and I stood staring after them. Damn that wily man. He’s as annoying in 1904 as he is in 2005.
Mrs. Grant stuttered and moved closer to me, frowning slightly at the sight of my clothing, perhaps attempting to distract me from wanting to chase after Langdon and smack him for insulting me. “Perhaps, Miss Maisie, you would care to change your attire? You must be quite uncomfortable following your… long journey.” I had no idea what Langdon had told her regarding my “long journey,” nor was I presently wishing to ask.
I glanced down to my crumb, coffee, dirt and sweat covered ensemble, embarrassed. “Oh…well, yes, that would be lovely.” I half-smiled and accepted Mrs. Grant’s warm grin with ease.
“Milton has placed your belongings in a guest room on the second floor, I believe. Milton!”
“Yes, ma’am!” Milton appeared again, without Langdon.
Poor Milton; he could have really used a pair of roller skates. I smiled to myself imagining the tall man on wheels.
“Have you put Miss Maisie’s belongings in the Pink Room?”
“Yes, ma’am!”
“Capital!” she exclaimed and clapped. I watched her with fascination. I hadn’t heard that word used in that way since the last time I watched ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ Oooo…maybe I’ll see Colin Firth here! Oh wait… he’s not real…well, he’s real, but he’s not here, he’s in 2005…drats!
Disturbed by the increasing speed by which 2005 seemed to be deserting me, I linked my arm through Mrs. Grant’s and distracted my troubled mind by thinking instead of Langdon in his tight breeches and pristine boots. Insufferable man.
“It’s pink…it’s definitely pink…” I noted, when Mrs. Grant inquired of my opinion. I gnawed at my bottom lip and scanned the room. In fact, the only items in the room that were not pink were my bag and me and Mrs.Grant. Milton had laid the bag on the floor right next to the door, as if he had been in a hurry, or had been frightened of the bag. Or maybe he had been frightened of all of this pink.
I wandered about the room, peeking in drawers, surveying the place, and the view out of my window. My mouth curved into an involuntary smile when I saw Langdon, under a large oak tree, hopping about on his shiny-booted feet, apparently mortally wounded by a very vicious-looking wooden sword a small boy of about eight years old had impaled him with.
Mrs. Grant came to stand beside me, letting out a soft cluck of air. “He’s good with the children. He’ll spend hours playing with them, engaging their minds and their spirits, and ask nothing in return.”
“Is that so?” I asked, a different side to Langdon suddenly revealed, a side that I admitted to myself I’d like to see more of.
But which Langdon was this? What year was I in? Was this all a delusion? I put my hand to the glass of the window and felt it cool to my touch, smelled Mrs. Grant’s lavender perfume alongside me, mixed with the fragrance of the pink roses to my left, on the tall dresser. It all seemed so real…even the way Langdon peered up to the window, startled to see us standing there. Even the way his glossy brown hair flopped into his eye and he smiled a bit bashfully, realizing we had been watching him.
“I am not his aunt, you know,” Mrs. Grant said suddenly, breaking the spell.
“No?” I asked, my heart suddenly pounding within my chest.
I thought for sure she could see it beating.
She shook her head, frowning a bit. “No, I am not his aunt.
I am his nanny. His aunt was a dreadful woman…” Mrs. Grant’s frown spread to all of her features, her eyes clouding over in remembrance.
“Mrs. Grant, Langdon is nearly thirty. He still requires a nanny?” I was being witty, or I was attempting to be witty; Mrs. Grant was still lost in thought, and I doubted she’d heard me.
“Of course not, dear!” she giggled. “I was employed as his nanny until he grew too old to need me any longer. And then his aunt died…” We were both watching Langdon at play. By now, he had been definitively killed, lying prone on the grass, allowing me a fine view of a fine view.
“Does Langdon, erm…Nick have any siblings?” I thought of
Penny and Sam and felt a tug at my heart.
Mrs. Grant chuckled and rapped at the window before flinging it open. “Hey there, Davy Jones, mind your manners with Mr. Langdon! Say you’re appreciative to him for allowing you to murder him so violently, if you please!”
I stifled a chortle and pursed my lips. “Davy Jones?” I asked, trying to remain straight-faced. I could go either way with this; Davy Jones as in the singer from the Monkees, or Davy Jones as in the bizarre euphemism for death: Davy Jones’s locker.
“What? Oh, yes,” she answered, distractedly, keeping close watch on Davy Jones. He did in fact bow to Langdon, who was still lying on the grass, though he had rolled over and was fending off some kind of large, hairy animal. Langdon’s face broke out in a dimpled grin when the dog (?) swiped its long tongue across his forehead. “Yes, that’s our newest charge, David Jones. He’s ten years old, but small for his age.” She sighed with resignation or something like it. “His father died last year leaving him as man of the house, and his mother was ill-fit to care for him; she left him alone most nights to…well, to do what she did to earn money. In the end, it was not enough. Young Davy took to stealing to feed himself.”
“How did he end up here?” I wondered.
“Ahh. Well…one evening, he tried to pickpocket Nicky.”
“Get out! Really?”
“Oh yes…and Nicky, being the generous, forgiving man that he is, instead of having him dealt with by the police, arranged with the boy’s mother that he should come here to live.”
My eyebrow had shot up and stayed there upon hearing Mrs. Grant say generous and forgiving, and have those words be linked to Langdon. I had not thought he was capable of either, whether in 1904 or in 2005.
I frowned as I watched the boy, now practically riding the dog (?), nothing of his past life evident in his play. My eyes shifted to Langdon, who was casually sprawled out under the tree, spinning a blade of grass between his well-shaped thumb and index finger. My eyes traveled from his hands to his face, only to realize he was watching me as intently as I was watching him. And from underneath his brows, as was I. From my vantage point upstairs, far away, brave, and out of immediate danger, I held his sultry brown eyes until the wind and Davy Jones’s laughter diverted them.
“So tell me about these siblings, Mrs. Grant,” I said a few moments later, as I was preparing to undress. “Is there…running water in the house?” I asked meekly, somewhat embarrassed by not only the soiled clothing I wore, but by the question. I didn’t want her to think I was totally fooled by their 1804 ruse, but then again, I was leaning towards thinking there wasn’t a ruse. Either way, I needed a shower.
Mrs. Grant’s blue eyes suddenly expanded widely, appearing very much like marbles about to roll out of her head. “Do you hear rushing water, Miss Maisie? Oh, heavens! Not that leak in the roof again! Mil-ton!” She had run out of the room at breakneck speed, leaving me no chance to call after her and explain. I bit my bottom lip in thought, my dilemma no closer to being solved.
I took a deep, frustrated breath; the action was cleansing but did not set my mind at ease. I hastily undressed, tossing my dirty clothes into a heap on the floor and sat heavily on the bed: comfortable, but lumpy. Not like my mattress at home, that’s for sure. I frowned at the pink covering on the bed. The tiny rosebuds were meticulously hand sewn. I peered closely at my surroundings; not one item in the room was what could be labeled “modern.”
“What’s that movie with Jim Carrey? The one where hes been put into his own world and he doesn’t know it…crap! What is the name of that movie!” I had begun talking to myself as I dropped the gown over my head, Mrs. Grant having disappeared from sight and no running water in my immediate future; desperation and jet lag had set in. I was putting the finishing touches on the day dress ensemble that I had brought along in the bag. The buttonhole was still a mess – you’d think in a hallucination the buttonhole would have been fixed, but no.
“The Truman Show!” I yelled to no one in particular, reaching around to affix the button within the tattered buttonhole.
Out of my immediate field of vision, but very definitely a blur on the outer edge of my sight, a green blob leapt past my doorway, followed by another larger, somewhat fatter green blob that landed directly in front of my doorway. I stood stark still, waiting, watching. “Ribbit!” said the fatter green blob to me as I raised an eyebrow at it. I moved closer to my new guest, wondering how he’d arrived, and who else he’d brought with him besides the guy who’d already taken off before him.
“Hello there,” I said after a few moments of studying the reflection of the crouching small boy in the large mirror hanging in the hallway. “You didn’t know I could see you there, did you? Your frogs went that way,” I pointed down the hall. His stifled, ornery giggles turned to wide-eyed wonderment as he saw me in the mirror. He shuffled to his feet, his large green eyes blinking under his dark brown, shaggy bangs. His head shook slowly.
“I didn’t think so. Hello, my name is Maisie. What’s yours?” extended my hand and he stared at it.
“My name is James, ma’am,” he replied courteously, his attention suddenly diverted.
“My frogs!” he exclaimed.
✨ Apologies for the cliffhanger folks, but this is where the story ends. For now. Please let me know in the comments if you want the story to continue! It was intended to be a novel at the outset. What does everyone think of that idea? Please let me know your thoughts in the comments! ✨
The Traveler is here
The Traveler – Prequel I is here
The Traveler – Prequel II is here
The Traveler – Prequel III is here
The Traveler – Prequel IV is here
©️2024, itssmyisaid.com, all rights reserved
Image©️thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com
I was the donkey at the party with the tail about to be pinned to its ass, the piñata that was going to be whacked, the—you get the idea. It was going to be uncomfortable, that much I knew, but what I didn’t know was from which direction the jab would come and if I could escape without losing much blood.
I noticed three other people in the room as I walked through the glass-paned French doors, all female and none too happy with me, it seemed. The oldest of the women was a pretty lady, in the way that older English women are: no wrinkles, no sun spots and very fair with full cheeks even though the rest of their bodies are slim. She had her blonde hair styled into a bob and sprayed stiff with hair spray (to combat the rain here, I supposed) and her clothes were well-tailored, of course.
The other two looked as if they had been shipped over from an American mall just today and would say, “Hi! Like, did you see this new lip gloss that I just now bought? Oh. My. God. It is sooo pretty!” any second. Pretty girls, with curly brown hair and loads of energy that barely contained itself in those cushy leather chairs.
Each of their eyes landed on me just as I had gotten through scanning them and the spacious, state of the art conference room we were in.
“Hullo!” Penelope piped up. (It was no “Hi!” but it was close and said with as much exuberance as any American kid I knew.)
They all leapt out of their chairs and bounded over, even Lady Langdon, in her own dignified sort of leaping manner, who, lagging behind her daughters considerably, made her way over.
“I’m so sorry l’m late. Please accept my sincere apologies. I was… detained. Out front. By him.” I shot Earl the Black Pearl a look of contempt as I pointed at him over my shoulder. While he glared at me as if he were bored by the very sound of my voice, his sisters looked at each other with raised brows and faint amusement. Lady Priscilla simply smiled and changed the subject to something along the lines of “How was your flight?” Translation: “I am changing the subject at once to avoid this uncomfortable feeling i have now because my son is clearly a jackass.” (OK, so that was my translation, but I was sure I wasn’t far off from her meaning.)
Nick handled the introductions and I jumped right into the speech I had prepared. You do realize, however, that this speech was written with the intention that I be able to recite it all at once, smoothly, in about fifteen minutes and then get straight into setting up the job? Sure, it sounds like a reasonable expectation, but no one told that to the jerk in the front row who asked me a completely unrelated question just as I was making an important point.
“Do you require any batteries for your camera?”
“No. And actually, I was commenting that your collection seems to be quite impressive and has many pieces from the Regency era, which happens to be my favorite to study.”
“Don’t you just love Jane Austen?” Penelope piped up.
“Yes, Penelope, I do! She was a fantastic writer and timeless in her observations.” I smiled and winked at her.
“So, as I was saying, the main reason we want to set everything up in here is for logistical—“
“Do you really admire Jane Austen?” His voice was so…venomous, that I couldn’t ignore him, nor could I slap him in front of his mother, however much my fingers twitched to do so. I did snap my pencil in half, however.
“Yes,” I ground out through clenched teeth.
“Why? I find her sexist, boring and clannish.” He leaned back in his chair expecting an argument from the looks of it.
I felt my mouth gape open and hang there like a fly catcher.
“Are you allergic to shutting up? Or do you have a touch of diarrhea of the mouth?” I hastily shuffled my papers and mumbled to myself under my breath, “Ha! He calls Jane Austen sexist, boring and clannish…I can’t think of three more apt words to describe him in the English language…” Then, just as quickly as I had began my mumbled tirade, I stopped, fearing I would be sent home on the next flight by Lady Priscilla in a matter of minutes, if I didn’t. Say goodbye to your new promotion, and your job, Maisie…
Instead of the ripping of a new one I thought I’d get from Lady P., what I heard and saw were three females stifling laughs while one pig-headed male turned all shades of red and stared daggers through me until I’d finished talking. But–oh-so-thankfully–he did keep his mouth shut and l yanked my self-assurance back to front and center using my bad attitude as an impetus.
“Any questions?” I asked cheerfully as I zipped my bag closed.
“No? OK, then I have one: may I see the collection now?” To say I was anxious to see what they held would be an understatement. My fingers tickled to don those gloves and lovingly caress the priceless capsules of history. I couldn’t wait to see each piece, touch it, imagine what the person’s life was like who wore such an elaborate costume. Only the richest of the rich preserved their clothing through time; everyone else wore and recycled their clothing until it was in tattered rags. Poor me, to be forced to handle fine silks, cottons and wools in some of the most skilled handiwork ever. I sighed happily from the burden.
“Of course, Maisie! Let’s get started right now, in fact.
Nicholas, would you please unlock the door to the storage area?” Priscilla (as she directed me to call her after I floundered over ‘Mrs. Lady’ and ‘Your Royal Errrr’…) asked Nick as we all made our way down the large hallway and down a flight of steps.
Nick nodded and jogged ahead of us to get the keys. I kept one eye on Priscilla and the other on Nick’s shapely backside. Sue me for having eyes that work too well sometimes. And what a nice sight it was.
“Whew! It’s cold in here!” I said out loud to distract myself from looking at him too long.
“Yes, it is. It’s temperature and humidity controlled to protect the clothing,” Captain Obvious announced as he flipped on all the lights.
“I know, I am familiar with the field in which I work. I was simply making an observation.” I scanned the room and saw racks and racks of covered garments. It felt like Christmas.
“Oh,” he said as if I had dejected him out of the room, right onto his ass.
“Sorry Nick, I didn’t mean to snap, it’s just that I’m really tired from my journey.” Priscilla and the girls went off to investigate why one of the racks was slightly crooked; I heard their clipped feminine voices echo as they walked away. I turned to Nick. I did feel guilty for being snippy, and I was about ready to apologize for everything nasty I had said since I arrived. I studied his actions as he waited for his mother to get out of hearing range; only when she had gone far enough, did he walk slowly up to me, lean down into my face and make me think he was going to kiss me. My heart started to race from seeing his nicely shaped mouth up close and I backed away with a frown that was soon to be paired with a roundhouse kick if he didn’t quit it. He chuckled, I guess due to my expression, and backed off.
“What are you doing?” I whispered loudly. I turned to walk away and I heard him say my name softly. I hesitated only because of the tone of his voice. It was intriguing.
“What?”I rolled my eyes as I waited.
Stupid man, he leaned into my face again! “Hey! I told you—” I swatted him away.
“Maisie, I think it’s important that I tell you this with discretion,” he whispered softly, his rich eyes looking deeply into mine. I felt my toes go numb.
“Wh, wh, what?” I stuttered uncoolly.
“Maisie…” he hushed, his breath tickling my face.
“Yes?” I breathed. He brushed his thumb along my face, sending chills up my arms. (Check: toes were still numb.)
“You have a piece of food stuck to your face. Looks like scone…saving it for later?” He opened my hand and placed the yummy treat I had overlooked into my palm. I cursed myself silently for doing a hasty job of checking for crumbs in the rearview mirror. Nick bowed to me as he elegantly backed away, flashed me a blinding smile and winked as he called to his mom, “Mum, I can fix that rack, if you wish.”
©️2023, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved
Prequel I is here
Prequel II is here
Prequel III is here
And where it all started (sort of) The Traveler is here
Image credit: Kevin at thebeginningatlast9.Wordpress.com
“You’re squinting. Shouldn’t you have worn sunglasses on a sunny day like today?” I raised my arm to shield my eyes to view this joker more clearly.
“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious. I left them at home, mistakenly believing the sun doesn’t shine here.” He was tall, that much I gathered, though I still couldn’t make out his features, and he was decked out in jeans and a t-shirt with thousands of tiny spots of paint on them. I hoped this meant he was a worker in the museum, not that this shirt was actually his idea of fashion.
“That’s a rather stereotypical belief, don’t you think?”
“I don’t know, maybe.” I shrugged.
“Anyway, it doesn’t much matter unless I can’t purchase any sunglasses here,” I snipped. I took a deep breath and let it out loudly and slowly. It had to be 9:50 already. No time for banter with a doofus.
He moved smoothly down three steps, ending up at ground level and looking me square in my eyes, even though I stood on the first step and was 5’10” with those heels on. Well. Nosy he may be, bordering on rude even, but I almost forgot about all of it when I looked at him.
Mr. Rude Painter Guy was tall, I was right about that. Mid-twenties, I would guess, and he had the uncanny ability to cause the next snide remark I had lined up to halt on my tongue, just by being. His wavy, dark brown hair nearly glowed red in the bright morning sun and his eyes were like rich chocolate with a touch of cayenne. He had a smattering of freckles on the bridge of his straight, olive-colored nose, the sight of which erased the slight frown that had formed on my face. His cheekbones were disgustingly high and angular (yeah, I was jealous) and his lips were wide and voluptuous (again, jealous). I stood there perfectly still, staring blankly at him. My name had eluded me at present.
“Ahem.” He cleared his throat and did this thing with his eyes that made my left knee buckle slightly.
“Can I help you?” I asked stiffly, as if I had developed amnesia and had made myself a proprietor of the establishment.
“Pardon me?” He seemed confused and that vaguely bugged me.
“What?” I scrunched my nose at him.
“What?” Now he was confused and sounded so.
“What? What?” I couldn’t help ribbing him solely for amusement.
He was standing close enough that I heard him growl. “You were the one committing trespassing moments ago. My question to you was, ‘May I help you?’ as you proceeded up these steps here.” He pointed down as if I had no clue I was perched on steps.
“So?” I turned to continue up the stairs and shrugged him off. “I’m going up here now. Buh-bye.”
“I can’t allow you to do that.” He grabbed my arm to stop me.
“Excuse me!” I yanked my arm away and glared at him. “And why can’t you allow me to do that?”
“I don’t know who you are, for one, and for another, I doubt the Langdons would have any business with you.”
Mr. Rude Painter Guy has not only a biting tongue, but a superiority complex. Impressive. “I have an appointment that started, like—“ I glanced to my watch. “It started five minutes ago!
I’d love to chat with you, but I have to run.” He grabbed me again before I could out-maneuver him.
“Who are you?” his eyes narrowed at me and became nasty, ugly, most definitely bitter chocolate.
“What’s it to you?”
He growled. I found the sound perversely erotic, and wrinkled my nose at this self-awareness.
“Fine. I see I am not going to make my meeting anytime soon if I don’t tell you. My name is Maisie Reynolds, and if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Mr. Langdon that I am already late for—thanks to you.” I yanked my arm away for the last time and marched up the stairs, relieved to feel the breeze cool me.
“Maisie Reynolds? You’re Maisie Reynolds?”
“Yessss, for thirty years now. And you are…?” I stopped at the door and leaned my head against it for balance when his probable identity first flashed in my mind. I spoke into the door and pleaded with it to hold me up, just as he opened his mouth.
“I’m Nick Langdon, Maisie Reynolds. Now allow me to escort you to your meeting with Mr. Langdon. Oh…that’s right, I will be taking my father’s place this morning, as he had an emergency to attend to. I was venturing out to meet you when I came upon you breaking and entering.” He had the nerve to smirk and cough to cover his laugh.
“Just entering, not breaking. The stupid thing is already broken, Nick Langdon. And I heard you cover your laugh just now, and I know you knew who I was the whole time, so just stuff any further comments up your lovely arse, please.”
He was polite enough to allow me to enter the building first, and in utter silence, save my loudly clicking heels, led me down the hollow hall. I had the strangest sensation he was leering at my butt.
©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved
Read The Traveler – Prequel I here
Read The Traveler – Prequel II here
Read The Traveler – where it all started
image credit: Kevin at thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com
It’s OK to feel like you don’t fit in. Please don’t pluck your eyebrows so thin. They will never grow back. Learn how to drive mom’s stick shift. There will come a time when they won’t exist anymore. Crazy, right? Do not get rid of your white denim Guess jean jacket. In 2024 you’ll be wanting it back. (But thanks for keeping the blue denim Guess jean jacket.) Don’t worry about that boy. Or that other boy. I know, it was sad when Matt moved away. You’ll never know what happened to him. But remember that day when he put a dime in your penny loafers and jammed it so far in you couldn’t get it out? Well, when the shoes got too old and you remembered the dime was in there, you spent an hour digging it out. Then you taped the dime to your journal. It’s still there. You should’ve asked Mark R. if you could’ve had a ride in his Cabrio. He would’ve said yes. Remember how you and your friend would pass notes to him in the hallway? You’ll keep those letters. But you’ll never look at them until now when you’re writing this and you’re thinking about it.
The whirlwind that was junior, senior and then freshman college year will be worth it. Because of all of that, you learned to see everyone equally. And you’ll never forget hiding in the dorm closet with the alarm going off. Don’t worry about being shy. As you get older, you’ll learn to be more extroverted, even though inside, you feel the same as your teenage self. Still misunderstood.
Enjoy the friends you have, because as you get older, it becomes harder to make new friends. Never lose your love for animals.(Spoiler: you don’t.) You will keep the friend you’ve known since you were seven. The one that made mud pies with you. She also threw up on you and your stuffed panda on the bus in third grade, but we won’t talk about that. It remains a sore subject, and she still laughs about it.
You’ll reminisce about high school, but you won’t ever want to go back. And when you get to sophomore year college, daddy dies. It happens before you can fix your broken relationship. So you’re stuck with a lot of loose ends. You will work the rest of your life on that, and many times, not know what to do with them.
There will be a point in time where you will regret arguing and fighting with mom. Try not to do it too much. You can’t get that time back. Please, please listen.
Your life will not turn out as you planned. Nothing usually does. Your braces will come off and your teeth will look straight but then 15 years later, they will go back to where they were. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you that part. Sorry.
You’ll go to some tennis tournaments and have the time of your life. I’m not even gonna tell you what happens. I’m just gonna let you live it.
P.S. Do not get rid of the peach high top Converse. You know the ones where you wrote “I love Johnny Depp ❤️” on the sole? Don’t get rid of those. (She did.)
Just always remember to keep smiling and laughing even when things get really difficult. We got this.

This poem is my submission for Kevin’s No Theme Thursday – 2/22/24 . Thanks for the art inspiration, Kevin.

Do you Remember
when you called me
Dame
And I called you
Sweetheart?
Those times are here
Where I find you now
It’s black-and-white
And shades of gray
Where you’ve always wanted to be
I can’t stay
I live in color
My dress is bright
Blue
Like you always were
I don’t belong
I just wanted to say
I remember
When you called me
Dame
©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved