daily prompt · Humor

Myself

Daily writing prompt
Describe the most ambitious DIY project you’ve ever taken on.

This DIY project is a lot more than I bargained for. The structure is OK, except for the neck area. That area has been condemned. Overall though, the structure is solid, though antique. It’s a registered historical site. The progress is slow, but the work continues. (The neck might need some scaffolding, though.)

These are the structure’s problem areas
animals · dogs · Photography

Not My Dog©️ – Petey

This is a new series. I previously posted. Star, who is Not My Cat©️. Because I love all animals, let’s talk about dogs.

This is my friend Petey. His full name is Peter, but his mom only calls him Peter if he is in trouble.

Petey is my neighbor’s dog. I’ve known him since he was a puppy. He is now about two years old. He gets very excited to see me when we greet each other at the back fence. One time he peed a little, he was so happy to see me. I take that as a great honor. (But it’s only an honor for dogs, not people.)

When I first met Petey, it was at the fence. I never saw him outside of the fence until I went to a party at his house. He could not believe I had legs. After the party, I returned to my home, and again was trapped by the fence, legless.

I don’t see Petey very often, but when I do, I run out the front door to chase him down when he’s on a walk. Or, if he’s in the backyard, I will wave, but I will try not to disrupt him from his resting spot in the sun. I saw him Friday afternoon while he was walking. I chased him down and he came back. He was excited to see me, and he was wearing a cap.

Petey is a mutt. He is very cute and I love him.

Baby Petey
He has ears, they’re just tucked
Cute guy
Party time!
Man on a mission: breaking hearts!

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com

chick lit · fiction · Humor · The Traveler · Women’s literature · Writing

The Traveler – Prequel III

“You’re squinting. Shouldn’t you have worn sunglasses on a sunny day like today?” I raised my arm to shield my eyes to view this joker more clearly.

“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious. I left them at home, mistakenly believing the sun doesn’t shine here.” He was tall, that much I gathered, though I still couldn’t make out his features, and he was decked out in jeans and a t-shirt with thousands of tiny spots of paint on them. I hoped this meant he was a worker in the museum, not that this shirt was actually his idea of fashion.

“That’s a rather stereotypical belief, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know, maybe.” I shrugged.

“Anyway, it doesn’t much matter unless I can’t purchase any sunglasses here,” I snipped. I took a deep breath and let it out loudly and slowly. It had to be 9:50 already. No time for banter with a doofus.

He moved smoothly down three steps, ending up at ground level and looking me square in my eyes, even though I stood on the first step and was 5’10” with those heels on. Well. Nosy he may be, bordering on rude even, but I almost forgot about all of it when I looked at him.

Mr. Rude Painter Guy was tall, I was right about that. Mid-twenties, I would guess, and he had the uncanny ability to cause the next snide remark I had lined up to halt on my tongue, just by being. His wavy, dark brown hair nearly glowed red in the bright morning sun and his eyes were like rich chocolate with a touch of cayenne. He had a smattering of freckles on the bridge of his straight, olive-colored nose, the sight of which erased the slight frown that had formed on my face. His cheekbones were disgustingly high and angular (yeah, I was jealous) and his lips were wide and voluptuous (again, jealous). I stood there perfectly still, staring blankly at him. My name had eluded me at present.

“Ahem.” He cleared his throat and did this thing with his eyes that made my left knee buckle slightly.

“Can I help you?” I asked stiffly, as if I had developed amnesia and had made myself a proprietor of the establishment.

“Pardon me?” He seemed confused and that vaguely bugged me.

“What?” I scrunched my nose at him.

“What?” Now he was confused and sounded so.

What? What?” I couldn’t help ribbing him solely for amusement.

He was standing close enough that I heard him growl. “You were the one committing trespassing moments ago. My question to you was, ‘May I help you?’ as you proceeded up these steps here.” He pointed down as if I had no clue I was perched on steps.

“So?” I turned to continue up the stairs and shrugged him off. “I’m going up here now. Buh-bye.”

“I can’t allow you to do that.” He grabbed my arm to stop me.

“Excuse me!” I yanked my arm away and glared at him. “And why can’t you allow me to do that?”

“I don’t know who you are, for one, and for another, I doubt the Langdons would have any business with you.”

Mr. Rude Painter Guy has not only a biting tongue, but a superiority complex. Impressive. “I have an appointment that started, like—“ I glanced to my watch. “It started five minutes ago!

I’d love to chat with you, but I have to run.” He grabbed me again before I could out-maneuver him.

Who are you?” his eyes narrowed at me and became nasty, ugly, most definitely bitter chocolate.

“What’s it to you?”

He growled. I found the sound perversely erotic, and wrinkled my nose at this self-awareness.

“Fine. I see I am not going to make my meeting anytime soon if I don’t tell you. My name is Maisie Reynolds, and if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with Mr. Langdon that I am already late for—thanks to you.” I yanked my arm away for the last time and marched up the stairs, relieved to feel the breeze cool me.

“Maisie Reynolds? You’re Maisie Reynolds?”

“Yessss, for thirty years now. And you are…?” I stopped at the door and leaned my head against it for balance when his probable identity first flashed in my mind. I spoke into the door and pleaded with it to hold me up, just as he opened his mouth.

“I’m Nick Langdon, Maisie Reynolds. Now allow me to escort you to your meeting with Mr. Langdon. Oh…that’s right, I will be taking my father’s place this morning, as he had an emergency to attend to. I was venturing out to meet you when I came upon you breaking and entering.” He had the nerve to smirk and cough to cover his laugh.

“Just entering, not breaking. The stupid thing is already broken, Nick Langdon. And I heard you cover your laugh just now, and I know you knew who I was the whole time, so just stuff any further comments up your lovely arse, please.”

He was polite enough to allow me to enter the building first, and in utter silence, save my loudly clicking heels, led me down the hollow hall. I had the strangest sensation he was leering at my butt.

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Read The Traveler – Prequel I here

Read The Traveler – Prequel II here

Read The Traveler – where it all started

image credit: Kevin at thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com

daily prompt

Asking Nonsense

Daily writing prompt
What is the biggest challenge you will face in the next six months?

If I knew that, I would know how to make these blog prompts better.

No one can know the answer to this question. You may think you can, but you cannot. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. You can lose everything, you can gain everything. You have no idea what your biggest challenge will be in six months.

Edit: after I wrote this this morning, which will now be yesterday morning as this is a scheduled post, I got into a car accident. It was a normal day, I was coming home from the store, and Bam. A car accident. A cascade of unpleasant events occurred from that point on. I am OK (I think) and the person involved the accident was also OK. But what I’m saying is, life can change in an instant. There is no way to know what your biggest challenge will be in six months. There is no way to know what your biggest challenge will be today.

In summation, WordPress:

Stop👏 asking👏 this👏 question👏

daily prompt · Humor · Writing

Dear Amy

Daily writing prompt
What advice would you give to your teenage self?

It’s OK to feel like you don’t fit in. Please don’t pluck your eyebrows so thin. They will never grow back. Learn how to drive mom’s stick shift. There will come a time when they won’t exist anymore. Crazy, right? Do not get rid of your white denim Guess jean jacket. In 2024 you’ll be wanting it back. (But thanks for keeping the blue denim Guess jean jacket.) Don’t worry about that boy. Or that other boy. I know, it was sad when Matt moved away. You’ll never know what happened to him. But remember that day when he put a dime in your penny loafers and jammed it so far in you couldn’t get it out? Well, when the shoes got too old and you remembered the dime was in there, you spent an hour digging it out. Then you taped the dime to your journal. It’s still there. You should’ve asked Mark R. if you could’ve had a ride in his Cabrio. He would’ve said yes. Remember how you and your friend would pass notes to him in the hallway? You’ll keep those letters. But you’ll never look at them until now when you’re writing this and you’re thinking about it.

The whirlwind that was junior, senior and then freshman college year will be worth it. Because of all of that, you learned to see everyone equally. And you’ll never forget hiding in the dorm closet with the alarm going off. Don’t worry about being shy. As you get older, you’ll learn to be more extroverted, even though inside, you feel the same as your teenage self. Still misunderstood.

Enjoy the friends you have, because as you get older, it becomes harder to make new friends. Never lose your love for animals.(Spoiler: you don’t.) You will keep the friend you’ve known since you were seven. The one that made mud pies with you. She also threw up on you and your stuffed panda on the bus in third grade, but we won’t talk about that. It remains a sore subject, and she still laughs about it.

You’ll reminisce about high school, but you won’t ever want to go back. And when you get to sophomore year college, daddy dies. It happens before you can fix your broken relationship. So you’re stuck with a lot of loose ends. You will work the rest of your life on that, and many times, not know what to do with them.

There will be a point in time where you will regret arguing and fighting with mom. Try not to do it too much. You can’t get that time back. Please, please listen.

Your life will not turn out as you planned. Nothing usually does. Your braces will come off and your teeth will look straight but then 15 years later, they will go back to where they were. Maybe I shouldn’t tell you that part. Sorry.

You’ll go to some tennis tournaments and have the time of your life. I’m not even gonna tell you what happens. I’m just gonna let you live it.

P.S. Do not get rid of the peach high top Converse. You know the ones where you wrote “I love Johnny Depp ❤️” on the sole? Don’t get rid of those. (She did.)

Just always remember to keep smiling and laughing even when things get really difficult. We got this.

16 year old Amy, you should have kept this velvet newsboy cap…
poetry · Writing

Noir

This poem is my submission for Kevin’s No Theme Thursday – 2/22/24 . Thanks for the art inspiration, Kevin.

Art by Kevin

Do you Remember

when you called me

Dame

And I called you

Sweetheart?

Those times are here

Where I find you now

It’s black-and-white

And shades of gray

Where you’ve always wanted to be

I can’t stay

I live in color

My dress is bright

Blue

Like you always were

I don’t belong

I just wanted to say

I remember

When you called me

Dame

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

Let Me Call You Sweetheart
chick lit · fiction · Humor · The Traveler · Women’s literature · Writing

The Traveler – Prequel / II

I had flown out of New York at 8 p.m., when the sun was setting but the air was still quite humid; it was humid enough that my hair never fully dried, and therefore ended up as a flaxen curtain framing my face. I arrived in London (with same curtain pulled back in a hair clip) at 8 a.m., with sunny skies and exactly the same 75 degree temperature, minus the humidity. The winds were cool and succeeded in waking me enough to manage the drive to Bath without falling asleep at the wheel. I usually got a roaring case of jet lag each and every time I flew across more than one time zone, which caused me to stumble around for days as if I were drunk or had an undiagnosed case of narcolepsy. I did once fall asleep while in a very important meeting in Madrid, but luckily, my head jerked up as it hit my chest and no one noticed. Even luckier was the opportunity for a siesta an hour later.

But now I wouldn’t have that chance; in fact, I barely had time to pee before I left the airport. I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and headed for the car rental counter. I began to mentally prepare my speech for the morning meeting at the museum with Mr. Langdon, proprietor and big wig aristocrat.

“Julie. Hi, it’s Maisie. I’m here. Yeah. I’m getting a car and I should be there by ten, so all is on schedule. Be sure to tell Mr. Irwin.” I juggled the phone as I handed my insurance card and driver’s license to the clerk in front of me. I smiled sweetly at him, remembering what happened with the last clerk, Sunshine, and how I ended up in this predicament in the first place.

“Well, I’m on my way right now, thank goodness. My flight was late, I drooled on my ivory silk cami while sleeping on the plane, and I have to pee like a mo-fo. I don’t have my little intro speech prepared yet and now I have to drive for hours to get to Baaath. Other than that, I’m peachy keen. So, I’ll see you in two days? Three. Right, right. See you then. Bye.”

Chad the Clerk at Swift Car Rentals made fourteen photocopies each of my license and insurance card as I stood watching, stunned. “Shall you be taking finger prints, as well?” I winked and he turned red.

“It’s all according to the rules, ma’am, you understand.”

“Of course,” I mumbled. I really, really don’t like to be “ma’am-ed,” and especially not by someone three years younger than myself; he was definitely at “Sir” age himself. My only comfort was the English accent. It sounded more like “Mahm,” which was cool – a different word altogether and not nearly as loaded with the sound of old age.

I stopped by the loo (“when in Rome” as the saying goes…) and while in there I stood at the sinks and dabbed fervently at my spit-stained top. The water caused the top to become transparent directly in the middle of my chest, and I quickly threw on my wrinkled blazer to maintain some sense of dignity. I refreshed my make-up and fluffed my hair before I took one last look in the mirror. I mumbled under my breath my displeasure. “I could scare away scarecrows.”

Unfortunately for my silk camisole, the scone and the coffee I had brought along with me in the car also ended up down the front of me, creating a lovely menagerie of browns and tans with crumbs glued on for texture. If it weren’t the only top I had access to in that moment, I would have framed it as original art.

However, I had to work with what had, and what I had underneath this one of a kind creation was a second-degree burn. I rubbed some lip gloss on it (the burn, not the camisole), blew cold air down my chest and hoped for minimal scarring. Oh, if the Aristocrats could see me now.

I headed southwest, following the map given to me by helpful Chad at Swift Car Rentals. I reached down for the notes on the seat beside me very, very quickly, keeping one eye on the road, one eye on the car in front of me, and my right hand on the wheel as I tried not to swerve into oncoming traffic. I wished that I had written the bits about the Langdon family more legibly as I was to meet Mr. William Langdon, proprietor and from all preliminary accounts, some special kind of crusty Brit— in just under an hour. A guy like that required prep time, no doubt. I cursed myself for sleeping my entire flight away when I could have been studying.

Here’s what I gathered by skimming my scribble-scrabble:

The Langdon family can date their ancestry in Britain to the year 1210, where they settled in Bath, apparently desiring to experience the curing qualities of the sulfur waters that bubble from the earth there. The current installment of the Langdons laid claim to some kind of royalty way back when —an earldom or some such title —and William Langdon (aforementioned crusty Brit, who incidentally is never without his Ascot tie, or so I’d heard) was the Earl of Summertime-oops, I meant Somerset-presently speaking.

Following the extensive family tree made my already weary eyes cross in confusion; I couldn’t remember my granddad’s first name half of the time, and now I had to keep track of a bunch of Brits.

OK. So let’s continue: William Langdon and his wife Priscilla (a blue blood in her own right) were the proud parents of three baby crusty Brits. There was Nicholas, the oldest at thirty or so, and successor to this Earl gig when old Bill died; unfortunately I hadn’t written much at all about this Nick guy. It was a shame really, because he had “potential,” at least on paper. I flipped my pages over and back again but l only found a sentence for him: Heir apparent, apparently, so clear the air. “Why do I persist in writing cryptic, smart alecky notes for myself?” Two months prior that phrase must have meant something or at least sounded humorous.

Now it was annoying.

Nick had two younger sisters, Samantha and Penelope, aged twenty and fifteen, respectively, and according to my notes, they were beyond ecstatic over this museum opening. The entire family had an appreciation for the history found in garments and had quite a fine collection of their own to contribute. Mr. Langdon had the idea to open a private museum initially, twenty or so years beforehand, but my notes said the rest of the family was enthused about the project, and that was all I needed to know. It was important for me to have full cooperation of the family if they were all going to be hands-on; I would need each one of them to help set up the costumes for photo shoots and cataloguing, plus it was going to be a dreadfully long two weeks if we didn’t get along.

That said, I hoped to make a connection with all of them but thought of Nick in particular. He was to inherit it all, including the costume museum. I hoped he would have a vested interest in the vests and all of the other objects, as well. And excuse me, but he was close to my age, he was single, he was in line for an Earldom and he most likely would have an alluring accent—how could my interest not be piqued?

Forty minutes later I found myself entering Bath city limits and dying for a shower. No rest for the weary and all that, so I ventured onward to the Langdon Costume Museum of Bath—stinking of coffee and scones and stale airplane air and hoping the Earl in Waiting wouldn’t mind my unique brand of cologne.

I rounded the circular drive to park in the lot directly behind the medium-sized square building, admiring its light stone façade as I did. The building resembled many of the others in the city that must have been built around the same time, in the late 1700’s, l guessed. It was a bit dirty – from pollution, I gathered—but other than that it projected a quiet strength quite fitting for an Earl’s museum. There was a wrought iron gate just in front of the entrance that gave me a bit of trouble as I tried to open it. I jiggled it as best I could with one arm loaded down by my notebook and necessary equipment, and the other awkwardly grasping as if my hand were numb. My attempts weren’t good enough; it wouldn’t budge, not even with a forced grunt and a soft pleading followed by a louder threat to commit bodily harm against it.

“Dammit!” I growled one last time and, as if by magic, the stubborn lock allowed me through. I guess it only understood curse word requests.

“May I help you or shall I leave you to burglarize this establishment?” a crisp male voice came from the step about ten feet away, shocking me off the ground a few inches. “Ahh! Don’t do that. I’m still winding down from my fight with the gate.” I shot my iron nemesis a glare. “The last thing I need now is a heart attack. Oh, and you’re really funny, by the way.” I squinted up at Smart Ass Mystery British Man from the bottom step; I hadn’t brought my sunglasses, figuring the sun never shone in England.

Hmph.

Stay tuned for The Traveler – Prequel / III!

Catch The Traveler – Prequel I here !

The Traveler – is here .

©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved

image credit: Kevin at thebeginningatlast9.wordpress.com