You’d be surprised by the answer.

I called my cable provider today – yes, I still have cable. The price is exorbitant, which is why I called them. While discussing how I watch five channels for the hefty sum they charge me, the guy on the other end of the phone asked me if I still use the landline.

I giggled and said that I do. I told him that I use it to give out to people so I don’t have to give them my cell phone number. Any type of membership I join, or discount card program: they’re getting the landline. I don’t make calls on it, unless I lose electricity. Then it becomes very handy.

He responded by saying I would be surprised at how many people keep their landlines specifically for the same purpose. It functions as call screening, spam blocker, weirdo blocker, and it’s always fun to get the “wrong number people” who think you’re their cousin twice removed.

I never answer it, the ringer is in fact on silent. I don’t even check the voicemail, because I know 99.9% of the calls left on that phone are spam. My mom gets a lot of phone calls on that phone, which at first was jarring but now it’s just amusing. By keeping the landline as sort of a dummy phone, figuratively, I divert most of the spam to the landline and away from my cell phone.

The other reason I keep it is because it’s vintage. It’s hanging on the wall in the kitchen. The number is the same since I can remember. The phone’s color was originally white. But my mom was an artist, so when she painted the white phone blue, I was not surprised. After she died, I couldn’t bear to see the blue kitchen and the blue phone anymore, I had to change things. So I painted the kitchen cabinets a neutral color. They are the original cabinets, joining them are the original countertops. On my quest to alter the blue phone, I went to the basement to find what stash of paint Mom had down there. I found a tiny tub of light pink paint. I narrowed my eyes and smiled. Pink was my mother‘s favorite color, and it is my second favorite color. You know what happened next. “Hello? Yes, this is pink phone. No one is here to take your call right now. Just kidding. they’re here, they just don’t want to talk to you. Ok, bye!”

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