blogging · daily prompt · Humor

Grocery Bagging

What’s a skill you consider basic, that most people don’t actually know how to do?

This is one of my pet peeves. I have many, but this is pretty high on the list. In the past, before the days of self checkout, stores used to bag your groceries. Some still do, and if you go to the regular checkout, they will put your stuff in a bag. But what they do is combine everything in one bag without the proper sorting and it makes my right eye twitch. 

Believe it or not, people who bag groceries used to be trained on how to bag groceries. I know, I know, it’s a shocker. There is actually a way to do this without putting bread in the same bag as potatoes and mothballs. Or eggs in the same bag as anything else. They also should know that all of the refrigerated items should be together in the same bag(s), and the non-refrigerated items should be placed in their own bags, further separated by cleaning products and porosity of the packaging.

To me, this is a basic skill. I don’t understand why people don’t know this. We don’t put food items in the same bag as ant traps. We don’t put cold food items in the same bag as non-refrigerated items, because the end goal here is to keep everything cold on the way home from the store, thus reducing melting and spoilage.

I often have to change the bagging entirely when I get to the car if someone else bags. It is a rare occasion I find someone who knows how to bag groceries. And yes, I still get someone else to bag my groceries because my job title is not grocery bagger and I am paying for my items. So they will bag them. That’s part of the transaction. And I use the paper bags they give me at the store because I’m paying for those bags in the cost of the items on the shelf. Thank you very much. 

On the off occasion that someone actually knows how to bag groceries, I thank them and tell them I appreciate their knowledge. And then I tell them no one else knows how to do it, because it’s true.

Look, I found instructions!
blogging · daily prompt · Humor · music

Shakira, Shakira

What’s a song lyric that has stuck with you forever?

From the song Hips Don’t Lie, released in 2005. If you don’t know this song, you have been warned. Once you hear the song, you will never forget the lyrics. You will always be susceptible to the “Shakira, Shakira!” at any time. And if you know this song, it’s a banger. But the side effect is being stuck with the “Shakira, Shakira!” ear worm for 20+ years.

Hips Don’t Lie

Ladies up in here tonight
No fightin’
We got the refugees up in here (no fightin’)
No fightin’
Shakira, Shakira

I never really knew that she could dance like this (hey)
She make a man wanna speak Spanish
¿Cómo se llama? (¡Sí!), ¿bonita? (¡Sí!)
Mi casa (Shakira, Shakira), su casa
Oh, baby, when you talk like that (uh-huh, yeah)
You make a woman go mad (oh)
So be wise (sí), and keep on (sí)
Reading the signs of my body (uno, dos, tres, cuatro, no fightin’)

I’m on tonight
You know my hips don’t lie (no fightin’, no fightin’)
And I’m starting to feel it’s right
All the attraction, the tension
Don’t you see, baby? This is perfection

Hey, girl, I can see your body moving
And it’s driving me crazy (uh-huh)
And I didn’t have the slightest idea
Until I saw you dancin’ (yeah)
And when you walk up on the dance floor, nobody cannot ignore
The way you move your body, girl (just smooth)
And everything’s so unexpected, the way you right and left it
So you can keep on shakin’ it (let’s go)

I never really knew that she could dance like this (yeah)
She make a man wanna speak Spanish
¿Cómo se llama? (¡Sí!), ¿bonita? (¡Sí!)
Mi casa (Shakira, Shakira), su casa
Oh, baby, when you talk like that (uh-huh, oh)
You make a woman go mad (oh)
So be wise (sí), and keep on (sí)
Reading the signs of my body (no fightin’, no fightin’)

I’m on tonight
You know my hips don’t lie (no fightin’, no fightin’)
And I’m starting to feel you, boy
Come on, let’s go, real slow
Don’t you see, baby, así es perfecto?
They know I’m on tonight (yeah)
My hips don’t lie and I’m starting to feel it’s right
All the attraction, the tension
Don’t you see, baby? This is perfection (Shakira, Shakira)

Oh, boy, I can see your body moving, half-animal, half-man
I don’t, don’t really know what I’m doing
But you seem to have a plan (yeah)
My will and self-restraint have come to fail now, fail now
See, I’m doing what I can, but I can’t, so, you know
That’s a bit too hard to explain (uno, dos, tres, cuatro)

Baila en la calle de noche (uh, yeah)
Baila en la calle de día (let’s go)
Baila en la calle de noche (uh, yeah)
Baila en la calle de día (let’s go)

I never really knew that she could dance like this (hey)
She make a man wanna speak Spanish (yeah)
¿Cómo se llama? (¡Sí!), ¿bonita? (¡Sí!)
Mi casa (Shakira, Shakira), su casa
Oh, baby, when you talk like that (uh-huh, oh)
You know you got me hypnotized (oh)
So be wise (sí), and keep on (sí)
Reading the signs of my body (yeah)

Señorita, feel the conga
Let me see you move like you come from Colombia
Yeah, oh, yeah, ladies, ¡sí! (yeah, yeah, hey, yeah)
Mira, en Barranquilla se baila así, say it (yeah)
En Barranquilla se baila así (yeah)
Ayy (prr), yeah

She’s so sexy, every man’s fantasy
A refugee like me back with the Fugees from a third world country (uh-huh)
I go back like when ‘Pac carried crates for Humpty Humpty
We leave a whole club dizzy
Why the CIA wanna watch us?
It’s the Colombians and Haitians
I ain’t guilty, it’s a musical transaction
Bo-bop-so-bop, no more do we snatch ropes
Refugees run the seas, ’cause we own our own boats, boats (no fightin’)

I’m on tonight, my hips don’t lie
And I’m starting to feel you, boy
Come on, let’s go, real slow
Baby, like this is perfecto (no fightin’)
Oh, you know I’m on tonight
My hips don’t lie and I’m starting to feel it’s right
The attraction, the tension
Baby, like this is perfection

No fightin’
No fightin’

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Jerry Duplessis / Latavia Parker / Luis Diaz / Omar Alfanno / Shakira Mebarak / Wyclef Jean

Hips Don’t Lie lyrics © Lanfranco Music, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Official Video
Shakira, Shakira
blog · blogging · daily prompt · Humor

Yes

Do you think we’re shaped more by our experiences or by who we are?

Both.

Unrelated to the prompt, but since I posted the easy button, does anyone still have theirs? I still have mine and it works. If you know anything about me, you know I only push the button when things are incredibly difficult and I need to spice it up with an extra dose of sarcasm. This button never fails to make me laugh. This was an excellent marketing idea. Long live the easy button!

blogging · daily prompt

“Actually?” Is Prompt Bias

What’s a promise you made to yourself that you’ve actually kept?

This question is inherently flawed. It’s already taking a dig, assuming that promises made to one’s self are not kept. Why do we need the word actually in this query? Isn’t it sufficient to ask the question without implying promises are not kept?

I’ll change it. “What’s a promise you made to yourself that you’ve kept?”

There. All better now.

A promise I have made to myself that I have kept? It’s between me and myself, WordPress. And that’s a promise I intend to keep.

animals · blogging · daily prompt · Humor · Nature · Skunks

Skunks Under My Shed

If you had to be an animal for a week, which one would you be and why?

Why? Because they live really well. They’re almost impossible to evict and they’re very cute. Also, they have a great defense mechanism. Just last week I saw the red fox running from my yard to the neighbor’s yard at a full clip. Why? A skunk was chasing him.

Also last week, someone set off fireworks all night long on a random Tuesday, and when they started up the next night at about 8:30 PM, I went outside in my bathrobe and pajamas to see if I could find where they were coming from. I walked to the middle of the street thinking to myself that it probably wasn’t a great idea, because the skunks come out around that time, but they only ever appear in the backyard. As I stood in the middle of the road hearing fireworks, but not seeing any, I noticed two skunks on my front porch. I was stuck in the middle of the street with my phone as a flashlight for a half an hour on a Tuesday night.

Salt (i’m sorry if this link isn’t working – I’ve tried everything and it doesn’t seem to work. It’s such a cute video and I’m sorry you can’t see it. It won’t even load properly when I use the unedited version.)

Last night I learned there was a baby skunk. Apparently the baby lives under my shed, which means there is at least also a mother under my shed. I believe the mother is Salt. The father is Pepa (although they could go the other way, I’m not sure which skunk is the male and which skunk is the female), and the baby is Spinderella. If you don’t understand this reference, they are named after the female rap group Salt ‘N Pepa, and their female DJ Spinderella.

Salt ‘N Pepa

The baby came out last night. It’s 6:30 PM, learning how to hunt for bugs. I had to chase it back to the backyard because it’s far too early for a baby skunk to be out, even though it’s normal for babies. No, it doesn’t have rabies. It does have a luxurious home, though. The babies won’t be grown until September and I won’t kick them out until then, if at all possible. But their presence means that the birds and the squirrels no longer get food.

Spinderella

Join me soon for another episode of Wild Kingdom!

blogging · daily prompt · Humor · Technology · Uncategorized

Not Having Technology

Which outdated technology do you miss the most, and why?

Don’t get me wrong, technology is useful and important. However. I don’t think it needs to be at everyone’s fingertips twenty four hours a day. It’s too much. I’m glad I grew up in a time where we didn’t have cell phones. We played outside and we used our imaginations. I’m not saying we didn’t have video games or computers because we did, but this age of everything at your fingertips is technology overload. Constant social media interaction can be destructive. And, perhaps most importantly, technology is amazing when it’s working correctly, but when it’s not? See below.

Actual footage of me on a typical Monday
blogging · books · daily prompt · Humor · Learning

Who Isn’t?

Are you a lifelong learner?

Learning never stops. You don’t have to be enrolled in a formal education program to continue to learn your whole life. And if you’re not learning anything as the years go on, then you’re not paying attention and you’re not growing. Reading, taking classes, doing things that keep your mind active are all important to keep learning, but also living daily life teaches you lessons that you can’t find in a book or a class. Often, those are the lessons that are most impactful.

Learning keeps your brain and your body sharp. Well, maybe not sharp, but less dull. What have you learned lately?

blogging · daily prompt · Humor

(Evil) Grimace

What villain actually had a good point?

More Arms, More Shakes

Grimace is from the McDonald’s universe. You may recognize him from his recent controversy of being revealed as a large purple taste bud. I call BS on this, McDonald’s.

I did some research and I found that Grimace started out as Evil Grimace in 1971 and had four arms so that he could steal more milkshakes. But his arms and persona scared little children so they amputated two of his arms and made him be a taste bud. Please note, I was never scared of him as a child, and I’m just not buying that other kids were scared of him. He is also Ronald McDonald’s best friend.

But make no mistake about it, Grimace is a thief. He steals milkshakes. He’s not like Hamburglar who steals hamburgers and looks suspicious and – let’s be real – is kind of weird. He’s a big purple blob who is friendly, but also will steal your milkshake. I like this about him.

I think having four arms to steal more milkshakes in the heat of the summer makes a lot of sense. (Evil) Grimace is my guy for this prompt.

🎶” My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like…“🎶

Nothing to see here…