Long-Legged Fly

June 22, 2024June 27, 2024 Amy20 Comments

AKA Condylostylus mundus

I don’t know which is worse: the common name or the Latin name.

When I noticed this stunning bug on a wildflower that is growing up through my rosebush, its legs weren’t the first thing I thought about, nor clamored to see. My first thought wasn’t “I need to be able to judge its leg length compared to other flies’ leg lengths!” I had never seen one of these before, and I am not sure that I ever will again. It is not native to my area.

I tried not to scare it away as I reached for my phone. You know how I like to chase things that are cute – or in this case stunningly beautiful – and you know how they run away from me (bunnies, bumblebees, butterflies, I’m looking at you…). I inched closer to this marvelous being, and was able to capture a few shots. Unfortunately, my phone was completely captivated and was unable to focus on the creature very well, and I ended up with only one decent photo.

After the Beauty Queen of the Backyard flew off, I went inside and did some research. Google told me this electrifyingly blue-green insect was called a Long-Legged Fly. First of all, this bug did not have Daddy-Long Leg legs – that would have been pretty obvious, and honestly? Ridiculous. My second complaint was: why are we focusing on legs when we have an entire blue-green iridescent body that is deserving of a better name than one given to a hillbilly at a dive bar in a Holler?

And then there is the Latin, official name: Condylostylus mundus. Really? The only thing I see here is stylus, and maybe that is vaguely appropriate, but we need to alter the word to stylish.

A far better photo, likely by a professional who doesn’t chase down shiny creatures in the backyard

In summary, I have renamed this fly, which, by the way, eats aphids and other pests, and is completely not like the regular fly that we associate with trash and maggots. (Sidebar: I absolutely abhor maggots, and will run for the hills, alternatively screeching and gagging if I see even one of them.) Flies are disgusting. I know they’re necessary, but I also know every time they land they throw up, and I can be down with the delectable bee vomit, but I am not down with fly vomit under any circumstances.

But I digress. Back to the stylish fly. I’ve decided to rename it, and I think that the governing bodies of naming insects should listen to me.

Stylishirridescentbluegreenfly regularlengthlegs

fantasy · fashion · fiction · French Fashion

Claire from Outlander

April 7, 2024April 6, 2024 Amy35 Comments

Daily writing prompt

If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

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From the book and from the TV series. Why? If you have to ask me why, you don’t know Claire.

Claire is smart, stubborn, tough, headstrong and she travels through centuries. She gets to wear Parisian fashion in the 1700s. Shout out to the costume designers and all of the seamstresses that have worked on all of the seasons, and especially Season Two. Your work is amazing, and I want to be you when I grow up.

I’ve dried my tears of admiration so I can truly view this marvelous, dusty blue creation

Ah hem – pardon the fashion geek moment, I just had to indulge.

Back to Claire:

She has two husbands, which, if I’m being honest, is not something that I would want. (She’s not a polygamist, because the husbands are not in the same century, so it’s OK. They do get jealous of one another however, which I find comical.) Anyway, she’s an herbalist and a healer in the 1700s, and she’s a nurse who becomes a surgeon in the 1900s. She’s a tough broad. She gets herself and her husband Jamie into a fair amount of trouble by bringing her 1900s ideals back to the 1700s. An English woman ordering Scottish Highlanders around, cursing at them to the point they become silent and a wee bit frightened? Priceless.

Claire isn’t simply a tough broad, she’s also loving and kind. She isn’t afraid to speak her mind, though, whether it’s words filled with vinegar or words dripping with honey. Claire speaks the language of sarcasm, so sometimes the vinegar and honey is mixed, and we end up with a vinaigrette.

A friend of mine once told me I reminded her of Claire and vice versa. That’s probably one of the best compliments I’ve ever received in my life.

Speaking of my life, I occasionally live it vicariously through Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser, my favorite heroine.

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daily prompt · Humor · Writing

The Dress Code

February 15, 2024February 16, 2024 Amy57 Comments

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

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Several times, in fact. Having inherited my maternal family’s fashion instincts, I’m a rebel. But I must warn you, only the first time was unintentional. All of the rest were intentional.

I’m sure it all started when I was a toddler and my mom made me dresses that made all the other toddlers envious.

Check out these patent leather Mary Janes, OK? ‘Nuff said.

And it continued from there. In high school, I had all the latest fashions. I regularly wore crop tops with leggings and high boots. I created my own signature style. I remember distinctly one day I wore a crocheted white crop top sweater over a crop top tank with jeans. I was sent to the principal’s office by a teacher. She wasn’t even my teacher. She was a teacher standing in the hall, looking me up and down disapprovingly. She told me I should go into my classroom and get my things and go immediately to the principal‘s office. I walked into my classroom and I told everyone what just happened.

I ended up in the vice principal‘s office. I sat in the chair across from her desk, and she asked me if I knew what I had done wrong. I said no. She said my outfit was inappropriate. I asked why. She said my stomach is showing. I have a 23-inch waist, and the styles were meant to show off your waist. Just like they are now. Fashion always comes back around again. Remember that. (I didn’t say that but that’s what I was thinking.) She said she was going to call my mother at work. She asked me what her phone number was. First of all, they should have that on file. Secondly, I started to giggle. She didn’t like that. I told her to call my mom, but my mom had bought the outfit. for me, so… She didn’t like that either. I told her the number and I waited for her to call my mother.

“Yes, ma’am, do you know what your daughter is wearing to school today?

Yes, it is a white sweater that is cropped and showing her belly.

I see. Well, she can’t wear this. She has to go home and change.”

She hung up the phone. “Your mother said she bought that for you and she thought you looked very nice in it this morning when you left the house.”

I smirked.

“You can’t wear that. You have to go home and change, and then you have to come right back.”

I went back to my classroom pissed off. I got there and I told everyone what happened. “She says I have to go home and change and then come back.” My peers thought that was ridiculous. Some of them were hiding crop tops underneath their jean jackets.

I walked home, which was pretty far considering I took the bus to school. I don’t know what I put on, but it wasn’t as nice as what I had on when I left the first time. I did end up walking back to school. I didn’t cut class.

That was the first documented occasion of a dress code offense.

I’ve had several more at work places. I do not apologize for it. If they want me to change my clothes, I will. But I will always try to be fashionable first.

One time, I had a cute plaid jumper short set. I wish I would’ve kept that outfit. But anyway, I wore that to the job that I had while I was in college. All the ladies in the kitchen design department were up in arms. I was violating the code, my boss and owner of the store at the time told me. I said, “I can’t help it, I have to be fashionable.” He didn’t make me go home and change, but I dressed slightly more boring after that.

A couple years later, I graduated with a major in fashion and a minor in theater/costuming. No one is going to take away my fashion. My mother encouraged me to dress uniquely and fashionably while living on a budget. She set the example, I’m just following. It’s a form of art expression. And I’ll never give it up.

There is a famous saying by Coco Chanel: “I don’t do fashion, I am fashion.” One year for my birthday, my former manager at my current job bought me a journal with that saying on the cover. I’ve used up the entire journal, but I saved the hard-bound part with the saying on it. I have it on display in my house.

This how I break the law (un)intentionally and I am not about to stop.