Describe something you learned in high school.

I’ll get to the prompt in a minute. I’m hoping this is the start of me being able to answer the prompts again. Truth be told, weeks ago I got a survey from WordPress and I really let them have it about the prompt problem. They didn’t exactly promptly fix the problem, and I don’t know if they did fix the prompt problem, but I can answer this one.

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What did I learn in high school? I learned that sarcasm is my gift to the world and my gift isn’t always well received.

I took algebra two for my senior year. I should’ve been more advanced than that, but I am not a math person. We weren’t allowed to take our math books home because there weren’t enough books, so we ended up using them during class. I don’t recall much homework. If you can’t bring a book home, what could your homework possibly be? I didn’t like my teacher, but I did like talking to my friends during class. I didn’t pay attention in this class. It was my senior year, and I had three study halls because I didn’t need any more classes. At the start of school year I set myself on auto pilot and cruised through like the main character in Office Space sans gutting a fish on my desk and wearing flip-flops.

I don’t know how other schools were, but in each of my subjects, there was a midterm and a final exam. There were also tests in between. As I mentioned, we did not take our books home and I don’t recall homework. I also mentioned I liked to talk to my friends during class. It would’ve been fine if my whispering didn’t cause laughter among my friends, but it did. On more than one occasion, the teacher shouted at me to stop mumbling under my breath to my friends.

Not gonna lie, I didn’t stop talking under my breath. I distinctly remember being sent out to sit in the hallway in a sort of hallway detention for the remainder of class. I didn’t see this as a punishment. I still don’t. I rather enjoyed chatting with people who walked by. I touched up my make up and I didn’t have to do any math. This hallway detention happened twice. I think it was the second time when I saw my Bestie in the hallway. She had the hall pass to go to the bathroom and just happened to find me sitting in the hall. We chatted for a few minutes. The teacher came out from time to time to check on me to make sure I was still there. Where would I go? Why would I get up? Silly man.

When it came time for the midterm test, I did my best, but without a book to take home, and not really giving it my all, I winged it. I made up formulas to solve fraction problems. After the teacher graded our tests, he announced – in a strained, pained voice – I had gotten the highest score. We were all in shock. I remember everyone turning to look at me with white eyes and I shrugged. 

Let’s fast forward to the final exam. It’s late May, I’m graduating in June and I have totally checked out from all subject matter that didn’t involve graduation. I did not study for my final exam in algebra two. I probably didn’t even crack the book open. I continued to talk to my friends and my teacher continued to turn 10 shades of red when he yelled at me to be quiet. I was unbothered. We took our exams, and I guessed at almost every question. I did show my work, because in math you don’t get any credit if you don’t show your work. Imagine my surprise when the teacher announced I had gotten the highest grade yet again. (No, I did not cheat. There was no way to cheat and I would never. My grades were earned. From A all the way to F. And yes, I passed this class. I did very well, in fact, because I got the highest grades in the class for the most heavily weighted tests.) Everyone in class turned to look at me and I smiled. Then I laughed. And then my long suffering teacher almost suffered apoplexy.

I found out the following school year that my math teacher had retired. I like to think he had a long, enjoyable career and just decided to retire, but I truly feel I pushed him over the edge.

So what did I learn in high school? A couple of things. I learned how to put my sweatpants over my clothes so I didn’t have to change for gym. I learned that if you’re going to cut class, you should not cut the class where the teacher has a view of the parking lot and can see you leaving. I learned that I had a gift for writing. I learned my mouth could get me into a lot of trouble. And by trouble I mean hallway detention, which was actually fun. I learned that lunchtime detention was the absolute best. It was quiet and people brought your lunch to you from the cafeteria. I learned very little algebra, and to be honest, I haven’t needed it. I’ve needed the chemistry I learned at university, which was incredibly difficult for me to learn, but I did, and without any mumbling under my breath. 

I learned that making people laugh was something I was good at and something that gave me joy. If it got me hallway detention, cool. If it got me lunchtime detention, even better.

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