What brings a tear to your eye?
“Would you like to have these pictures?
I’d like to give them to you.”
Pause and reflection
“Yes, I would like to have the pictures.“
You would bring them to me
Before you went to Italy
I saw you and did not cry
“Thank you for the pictures.”
They are very beautiful
I like to look at them
And
I hate to look at them
They make me cry.
©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved
(“of joy” has been removed from the title of this prompt)
I picked my red dress to wear today
Not sure why
It felt like a red day
Found that red heart necklace
Clasped it ‘round my neck
Stood back and smiled
Put a red bracelet on my wrist
Might as well complete the style
Thought twice about that poem
About answering that prompt
Because what if even just a little breath
Is enough to cause its death?
The red of the notification
Finally arrived
I wondered what had happened to time
I clicked on the app
Called Snap
Saw a red heart next to your face
Smiled and thought I’ve moved up a place
But the words that I read
After seeing so much red
Were not words I expected
I sent you a chat
I heard nothing back
I realized then
When I breathed it life
This delicate thing
Would not breathe again
It’s not cool that I said all that
It’s not chill that it’s in my head
It’s dead
Isn’t it?
Isn’t it?
💔
Red, Taylor Swift
Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street
Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind
Once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn, so bright, just before they lose it allLosing him was blue, like I’d never known
Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was redTouching him was like realizing all you ever wanted
Was right there in front of you
Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words
To your old favorite song
Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword
And realizing there’s no right answer
Regretting him was like wishing you never found out
That love could be that strongLosing him was blue, like I’d never known
Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
But loving him was red
Oh, red
Burning redRemembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes
Tell myself it’s time now gotta let go
But moving on from him is impossible
When I still see it all in my head
In burning red
Burning, it was redOh, losing him was blue, like I’d never known
Missing him was dark gray, all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know
Somebody you never met
‘Cause loving him was red
Yeah, yeah, red
Burning redAnd that’s why he’s spinning ’round in my head
Comes back to me, burning red
Yeah, yeah
His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end streetSource: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Taylor Swift
Red lyrics © Sony/atv Tree Publishing, Taylor Swift Music
April 2, 2011
A young deer collided with my mom’s car this morning. We were driving back from the grocery store, trunk full of food, discussing something mundane about the week; something I can’t recall now. We saw one deer dart across the left lane of traffic and we gasped. My mom applied her brakes. We momentarily believed we had escaped what could have been a horrific situation, and then, just as suddenly, two more young deer darted from the brush.
My mom did what she could to slow down, but there was no way to avoid what was to come. The third deer ran head first into the driver’s side of the car. A loud thunk was felt and we pulled over. Already I was sobbing. I did not look back. I COULD NOT look back. My mom was shaking and sobbing. People began to pull over, maybe wondering if they could help us, maybe wondering if we were ok. Some did come up to the car and talk to us, making sure we were all right.
Physically, we were fine. The car was not damaged. Emotionally we were not fine. I am still not fine. That young deer didn’t die right away, it lingered for maybe 10 minutes before dying. Someone – I don’t know who – came and took the deer away. I don’t know if it was the County or a person who was planning on utilizing the meat. I don’t care. A deer died a traumatic death in the middle of the road because of a man-made vehicle that could not stop in time. The people inside that car do not agree with killing of animals for sport, and one of them (me) is adamant against such activities. So, to accidentally kill a deer – or any animal – is, for me, excruciating.
To unintentionally kill a beautiful animal that has every right to live is a horrible, horrible feeling. I took my mother’s hand and held it. And we cried. I cried not only for that young deer in the road, but for all the other deer who meet similar fates, and for others who are cruelly killed for sport.
Finally, the police arrived and said they do not file police reports for deer collisions, and since there was no damage to the car, my mom would not have to fix anything, so need to contact the insurance company.
Deer hair lingers on the driver’s side window, though, and I can’t bear to go over to that side to see the small dent I have been told is there now.
So that’s it. Nothing can be done. We just go on about our day? What about the two other deer? Where did they go? Do they wonder what happened to the young doe?
Are they waiting for her on the other side of the road, off in the distance?
Sorry, I just can’t finish this. I can’t stop crying.
Please, whatever you do today, hug your dogs, your cats, your ferrets, whatever pet you know and love. And hug your people, too. We are all fragile in this life.
©️2024, itsamyisaid.com, all rights reserved
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?
I realized, after the death of my mother, I was rendered an orphan. It’s not a club I wanted a complimentary membership to. But it’s an unavoidable membership for most of us. When the realization hits, no matter one’s age – though admittedly, being a child and experiencing this would be devastatingly traumatic – it is felt like an inexplicable heaviness in the chest that seeps its way down to the ends of the toes. Because what is really happening is one is facing one’s own mortality. And if that doesn’t make you feel like an adult, nothing will.
Here we are again
alone in our shared secrets
Alone in our disparate grief
One without the other
Neither of whom chooses to speak
We mourn apart
As we’re torn part
From two wholly different things.
©️ 2023, itsamyisaid.wordpress.com, All Rights Reserved
“It's Amy,” I said. 