Humor · Writing

Dating

Amy

Are there any activities or hobbies you’ve outgrown or lost interest in over time?

Am I being serious? Yes and no.

I’m at a point in my life where I wear my bathrobe to get the mail. I answer to no one but myself. I’m sorry, that’s incorrect: I answer to the cat.

After a lifetime of not making the best decisions, I’ve backed off. What I learned in childhood taught me how to choose the absolute worst partners. Thanks, dad!

After a recent relationship ended, I decided that I would no longer be actively taking applications. It’s not that the job was filled, it’s that we’ve pulled the job off the market due to a poor candidate pool. Time to go within and heal what is wrong so I stop making bad choices.

Besides all that, casual dating is not fun for me. I don’t like it. I would rather get to know one person very well, not know a bunch of people not so well.

I’m thinking of a phrase here. I think it’s a meme. There are several iterations of it. It goes something like, “I like to be alone, but I want someone that I can be alone with who also likes to be alone.”

Yeah, that. And they have to be OK with me wearing my bathrobe to the mailbox. Because I’m not going to stop doing that.

I’ve asked the universe/God to stop sending me the wrong things. I am done with the tests. I get it. I know where I went wrong. Or if I don’t know, I’m working on it. Stop sending me somebody’s dusty ass son, universe. Please and thank you.

Oh, one last thing: I will never give up my writing again for anyone or anything.

The two songs I thought of when I was answering this prompt are: Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri, and The Chain by Fleetwood Mac. Both of these songs are my jams.

Jar of Hearts

I know I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
Now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart

You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I’ve learned to live half alive
Now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart

You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart

You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart

You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Barrett Yeretsian / Christina Perri / Drew Lawrence

Jar of Hearts lyrics © Wb Music Corp., Bmg Gold Songs, Philosophy Of Sound Publishing, Piggy Dog Music, Hipgnosis Sfh I Limited

🎶

The Chain

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

And if you don’t love me now 
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (never break the chain)

And if you don’t love me now (you don’t love me now)
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying (still hear you saying)
You would never break the chain (never break the chain)

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light

And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (never break the chain)

And if you don’t love me now (you don’t love me now)
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying (still hear you saying)
You would never break the chain (never break the chain)

And if you don’t love me now (you don’t love me now)
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying (still hear you saying)
You would never break the chain (never break the chain)

Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)
Chain

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Christine McVie / John McVie / Lindsey Buckingham / Mick Fleetwood / Stephanie Nicks

The Chain lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Hipgnosis Songs Group, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Reach Music Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group

Published by Amy

I love words. And animals. Photography and fedoras. Welcome. And stay awhile.

54 thoughts on “Dating”

  2. The Chain brings back memories. I had stopped dating when I met the woman who became my second wife. She had also. Somehow, things worked out though it took me longer to work out my things. I’m still working on it. I once drove my first wife to work wearing my bathrobe. I’m glad the car didn’t break down. I was barefoot and there was snow on the ground. Be well!

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    1. I think we all need time to stop and reflect. That’s when the magic happens. And I don’t think we ever stop working on things.Ha! I’m glad your car didn’t break down too. Your bath probably would’ve kept you warm, but you having bare feet would not have done you any favors in the snow. Have a great day, and thanks for sharing your story.

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  5. I was so naive to how crazy the dating world was until I found myself single again after being married to the only one I ever dated for 14 years. It’s a crazy world out there! I don’t blame you at all for taking some down time.

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  6. As usual, your post is great! I am impressed with this line.

    “I like to be alone, but I want someone that I can be alone with who also likes to be alone.”

    Can’t express better than this to tell that everyone needs their space.

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  8. Some people can’t stand the thought of being a solo act, but it’s really not so bad. I once read something to the effect of “If you can’t handle being alone with yourself, what does that say about you?”
    On a semi-Fleetwood Mac related note, if you’ve not heard Halestorm’s cover of “Gold Dust Woman” you should check it out.

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    1. It’s not that bad to be alone, but at the same time, it’s kind of better to be alone with someone else who wants to be alone. You definitely have to understand how to be by yourself to be a better partner for someone. I think.
      I have not heard that cover. I will have to Google it. Thanks.

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      1. Well, that’s the kicker. Most people can’t stand the thought of being apart for more than 5 minutes. Or so it seems, at least. And if you’re adamant that you really want some alone time, their default setting usually leads to “You don’t care”, “you’re not invested in this relationship”, etc. 🙄

        Halestorm actually does a lot of good covers. I think they’ve released two or three albums worth.

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      2. I think people who can’t stand to be alone have codependent issues. Being being clingy is not healthy. Having alone time is very important for a relationship to succeed being clingy is gross and a major red flag. 🚩
        I will check it out. I just had to have a rant about some freaking weirdo following me and I have another short story to post about someone I ran into that I used to go to school with. Also, I’m working on that story from your no theme Thursday challenge .😊

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      3. OK, I resent being called a weirdo, first of all. 😋

        Yeah, I agree. Clinginess and neediness are huge turn offs. It’s annoying as hell and usually indicates trust issues.
        “Yes, I know I usually text you around 9:30PM, but I got busy with an unexpected issues and couldn’t get to my phone until now (9:35PM). No, I am not sleeping with the cute girl who works down the hall. No, I am not planning a romantic getaway to Italy with her. No, I’m not, etc., etc….”
        😄

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      4. lol! I mean… if the name fits🤣

        Ugh! It does indicate trust issues. lol a romantic getaway to Italy with the neighbor because you’re five minute late texting. Now that’s an imagination! 😆

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      6. I mean… everyone is a weirdo. Some people just take it to the extreme.😆

        I see other people struggling in their relationships, and when they talk to me about it, I just put my face in my hands. It shouldn’t be that hard. There shouldn’t be drama. Especially as I get older, I just don’t want drama. I want peace. Someone who brings me peace, not drama. I don’t want someone texting me all hours of the day wondering what I’m doing, or having to be with me all the time. It’s stifling. My cat does that to me enough.😆

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      7. The funny thing is, it seems like it doesn’t get easier when you get older. Seems there was a time when people outgrew that shit, but not so much these days.
        I don’t know if it’s the dawn of dating apps, and the perception of more “options”, the constant barrage of bad news that keep people’s anxiety levels up and moods down, or a combo of several factors.
        What it is, though, is a big pain in the ass. lol
        Yes, cats do more than enough clinging, but even they feel the need to be alone sometimes too. They get it! 😄

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      8. Dating apps are trash. Honestly. When they first started out they were OK. Now they’re just cesspools. I think social media has had a negative effect on people and their relationship ideals. The other thing could be that as people get older, they get more set in their ways. Less willing to change. But whatever the reason, it is a big pain in the ass. My saying for a long time has been, “If you don’t add to my life in a peaceful way, then you are subtracting from it.” And I stand by that mantra.
        True! My cat makes me go to bed. She wants the entire living area to herself so she can watch animals outside, play toys, and eat when she feels like it. She forces me to go upstairs at a certain time.🤷‍♀️😆

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      9. Yes, I am sure social media has had it’s impact as well. Everyone thinks everyone else has it so much better, which can lead to unrealistic expectations.
        And you would think that people dating in the same age group would be more understanding of the concept of being set in ones ways, but apparently not always lol
        When mine want my chair, I get the death stare until I finally get off my ass and vacate the area 😄

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      10. Yes, social media is a big façade. Always good to keep relationships private and off of social media. Actually, I found that people even older than myself their way far worse than people in my age were a little bit younger. I guess because they’ve had more time to develop those opinions and behaviors. Unfortunately, there is no way to get past that. Lol
        I have also received the stare. it typically involves treats. the treats are not served at the expected time, I got the look😅

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      11. I get that too. And they are persistent. I will give them their due for that. I don’t even bother anymore. When they start staring, I just get up and attend to it lol

        Honestly, the older I get, the more I have the confidence that if someone comes along and it’s a fit, it will happen. If not, I am content to do my thing and live my life. Trying to force things rarely, if ever, works out well.

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      12. Yeah, I just asked her if she wants her treats and then her head jerks up excitedly and I do it. Because I am the staff and she is in charge of me. lol

        Well, that’s the thing. It’s kind of my whole point about my post this morning. I’m going to continue wearing my bathrobe to the mailbox. And if that upsets a potential suitor, that person is not for me. Whichever way you meet someone these days- online, in person, at a conference for clowns, it has to happen organically. Forcing shit doesn’t work. Forcing shit to work when it should fail doesn’t work. Been there, done that. Have the T-shirt. And the shirt is a cheap material, the hem unraveled, and it’s in the back of my closet under some old shoeboxes.

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      13. Their world, we just live in it lol

        Yeah, you’ve totally got the right idea with your post, no question.
        It’s the emotional equivalent of throwing good money after bad trying to keep something afloat that probably shouldn’t have launched in the first place. There’s only so much currency to go around. Better to save it for a much higher ROI. Whether that investment is someone else, or yourself, it’s far better spent that way.

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    1. They are so good! The Chain it’s a great song. Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham were a very toxic couple, but they, along with the rest of the band were great songwriters and harmonized well.
      😂 yes, it does apply to a dusty daughter! If the shoe fits… 😆

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  10. I haven’t had an actual date in… (starts counting fingers but runs out) Well let’s just say it’s been a minute. I have no idea really where to even begin again. I guess if it happens it happens, but I ain’t got my hopes up anymore.

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  17. Meeting someone I can help just as much as they can help me, just by being available for each other, is usually how my friendships/relationships form. Now I am alone and wait until I meet someone who would benefit from my life just as much as I would benefit from their life.

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