What’s a movie or book that inspired you to travel?
Anybody got any standing stones? Asking for a friend.
Outlander
Category: Humor
Skunks Under My Shed
If you had to be an animal for a week, which one would you be and why?
Why? Because they live really well. They’re almost impossible to evict and they’re very cute. Also, they have a great defense mechanism. Just last week I saw the red fox running from my yard to the neighbor’s yard at a full clip. Why? A skunk was chasing him.
Also last week, someone set off fireworks all night long on a random Tuesday, and when they started up the next night at about 8:30 PM, I went outside in my bathrobe and pajamas to see if I could find where they were coming from. I walked to the middle of the street thinking to myself that it probably wasn’t a great idea, because the skunks come out around that time, but they only ever appear in the backyard. As I stood in the middle of the road hearing fireworks, but not seeing any, I noticed two skunks on my front porch. I was stuck in the middle of the street with my phone as a flashlight for a half an hour on a Tuesday night.
Last night I learned there was a baby skunk. Apparently the baby lives under my shed, which means there is at least also a mother under my shed. I believe the mother is Salt. The father is Pepa (although they could go the other way, I’m not sure which skunk is the male and which skunk is the female), and the baby is Spinderella. If you don’t understand this reference, they are named after the female rap group Salt ‘N Pepa, and their female DJ Spinderella.
The baby came out last night. It’s 6:30 PM, learning how to hunt for bugs. I had to chase it back to the backyard because it’s far too early for a baby skunk to be out, even though it’s normal for babies. No, it doesn’t have rabies. It does have a luxurious home, though. The babies won’t be grown until September and I won’t kick them out until then, if at all possible. But their presence means that the birds and the squirrels no longer get food.
Join me soon for another episode of Wild Kingdom!
Not Having Technology
Which outdated technology do you miss the most, and why?
Don’t get me wrong, technology is useful and important. However. I don’t think it needs to be at everyone’s fingertips twenty four hours a day. It’s too much. I’m glad I grew up in a time where we didn’t have cell phones. We played outside and we used our imaginations. I’m not saying we didn’t have video games or computers because we did, but this age of everything at your fingertips is technology overload. Constant social media interaction can be destructive. And, perhaps most importantly, technology is amazing when it’s working correctly, but when it’s not? See below.
Who Isn’t?
Are you a lifelong learner?
Learning never stops. You don’t have to be enrolled in a formal education program to continue to learn your whole life. And if you’re not learning anything as the years go on, then you’re not paying attention and you’re not growing. Reading, taking classes, doing things that keep your mind active are all important to keep learning, but also living daily life teaches you lessons that you can’t find in a book or a class. Often, those are the lessons that are most impactful.
Learning keeps your brain and your body sharp. Well, maybe not sharp, but less dull. What have you learned lately?
(Evil) Grimace
What villain actually had a good point?
Grimace is from the McDonald’s universe. You may recognize him from his recent controversy of being revealed as a large purple taste bud. I call BS on this, McDonald’s.
I did some research and I found that Grimace started out as Evil Grimace in 1971 and had four arms so that he could steal more milkshakes. But his arms and persona scared little children so they amputated two of his arms and made him be a taste bud. Please note, I was never scared of him as a child, and I’m just not buying that other kids were scared of him. He is also Ronald McDonald’s best friend.
But make no mistake about it, Grimace is a thief. He steals milkshakes. He’s not like Hamburglar who steals hamburgers and looks suspicious and – let’s be real – is kind of weird. He’s a big purple blob who is friendly, but also will steal your milkshake. I like this about him.
I think having four arms to steal more milkshakes in the heat of the summer makes a lot of sense. (Evil) Grimace is my guy for this prompt.
🎶” My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like…“🎶
Going To Bed Early
What do you love now, that you hated when you were younger?
This prompt pretty much answers itself.
The Hard Stuff: Melatonin
What do you do to improve your sleep?
This was definitely a previous prompt, and I know I have the visuals saved in the media library.
*heads to the library, starts rummaging*
While I look for my previous post’s visuals, I have to say that melatonin gives some crazy dreams and it doesn’t always work in terms of improving sleep. It does help me to fall asleep, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to me staying asleep. And while I’m sleeping, I’m having crazy dreams. Like last night. I don’t know if it’s because of this extreme heat and that I was outside in, it or if it was strictly the melatonin side effect, but I had dreams that were off the charts weird. Of course I cannot remember them now. So I guess I would recommend trying melatonin to help one fall asleep faster, but not necessarily to improve sleep.
I highly recommend the gummy version, as it is a delicious way to fall asleep.
Hitting Steps Is Wrong
Hit 5,000 steps today and drop your achievement here — we’re cheering you on!
What a strange prompt! In the fitness industry now, are we, WP? Or is it violence against steps and staircases?
Either way, I don’t want to answer this. I’m gonna give it my ole “ridicule response.”
And remember, get those steps in by any means necessary!
Indiana Jones
Emperor Palpatine has announced open elections for a new Emperor — and he’s nominated Darth Vader. You get to nominate one challenger.
I said what I said. Yes, I know he was Han Solo, and that I have crossed out of the Star Wars Universe into the Indiana Jones Universe, but 👏I 👏said 👏what👏 I 👏said👏
As a challenger to the creepy heavy breather, who looks like walking chicken skin with a hairdryer mouth, my candidate can do the following:
Math:
He has critical thinking skills:
He can outrun big boulders, unlike the nominee, who probably can’t outrun a piece of gravel, let’s be honest…
I shouldn’t have to convince you – you either think he’s cool or you’re wrong. And if you like Darth Vader for this job, I can’t help you. There is no universe in which Darth Vader is a better ruler than Indiana Jones. None!
Finally, I would like to wish a very happy early birthday to my birthday twin, Mr. Harrison Ford!
May the force be with you all, but only if you vote for Indiana Jones!
The Tooth Stealer
What’s something you used to believe as a kid that seems ridiculous now?
It didn’t start with questioning the guy with the white beard . It was the tooth lady. Something wasn’t making sense. The math wasn’t mathing. At the age of six I started to have questions – which is also when my baby teeth started to fall out. I can’t remember why I started to question things, but it didn’t really make sense that there would be money under my pillow from a tiny being that would then take my teeth. What are you doing with my teeth, ma’am?!
So it just clicked one day. I received confirmation from the parental unit about my suspicions. But then my brain immediately rapid fired into questions about the bunny and the man with the beard. I asked for confirmation that these individuals were also not of the reality realm. I received confirmation. 😑
In that moment, as a six-year-old, I had cracked the code. I might as well have had a full-time job working 80 hours a week carrying a briefcase and a 30 year mortgage because I had it all figured out. The world had lost its shine.
But it really hadn’t. Because the teeth would weirdly keep getting stolen and now the cash payment could just happen in the open. Like a drug deal maybe. (But where are my teeth???) And the bunny would still bring candy, but the bunny had a different name, a human one. And the guy with the beard still had plenty of jobs at the malls, but after the disclosure, the presents would arrive a day earlier, via a different method of transportation. So that worked out well.
Long after the disclosure of the bearded guy, there was a man from a place I used to work who would dress up as the bearded guy every holiday season and ride through my neighborhood on a fire truck. Parents would give the bearded guy gifts in advance and he would come to every door and give the little children their gifts. He would drive by our house every year and we would wave from the door. Since we knew this bearded guy, it was quite exciting. He stopped doing it and we missed that. And in fact, I hadn’t worked at this place since college so I hadn’t seen the bearded guy, who was at the time a young guy with dark hair and a dark beard, but dressing up as the guy with the white beard.
Yesterday, I was in my backyard, and my neighbor told me her godfather was helping her with her shed. I looked at this helper, and I saw a man with striking white hair and a beard and the way he walked was quite familiar. So I asked my neighbor if her godfather was the guy with the beard from the fire truck and she said yes. It’s been years, but his transformation is complete: he is now the white bearded man from the firetruck! We chatted for a long while, and it was good to see him again. I should have mentioned to him his old gig as the white bearded guy on the fire truck, but I didn’t. I forgot. I really think he’s missing out on an opportunity now, though. He wouldn’t even have to really dress up. Just that red suit thing and the belt.
Happy Saturday/Caturday! 🎅🏻
“It's Amy,” I said. 